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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49619) - you deserved it (3485)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, a coworker at school yelled at one of our students to be quiet. The kid got pretty upset, so I went to comfort him. He held my hand for the rest of the class, telling me in vivid detail how he was going to kill my coworker. Now I'm afraid to look at him. FML

#20903281
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42947) - you deserved it (3483)

On 10/01/2013 at 12:36pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my little sister is having a friend spend the night. Our rooms are right next to one another and the walls are thin. We are now entering the fourth hour of a singing contest so off-key that it should be illegal. FML

#20933172
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44182) - you deserved it (3464)

On 10/25/2013 at 2:48am - misc - by ThisIsAgony - United States (Nevada)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41558) - you deserved it (3451)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)

Today, my psycho ex-girlfriend, who's already made two threats against my life, informed me that she now has a concealed carry permit. FML

#20907451
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46667) - you deserved it (3449)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I failed hard at a color test. I thought it was a joke because most of the colors looked the same to me. Now I know why people laugh at my clothes color choices. FML

#20936339
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48815) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:51am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s school today. She had been telling the teacher, "I have a huge boner." Apparently, some of the kids at school told her it meant 'headache' and she's been saying it all day. FML

#20928358
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44816) - you deserved it (3444)

On 10/20/2013 at 11:51pm - kids - by momaaa1342 - United States (Illinois)

Today, during a family dinner, my 5-year-old son excitedly told everyone that I let him use my "douche" last week. My parents glared at me in anger and horror, and only after they left did I find out that his brother had told him that's what my loofah is called. FML

#20915293
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41900) - you deserved it (3421)

On 10/10/2013 at 4:00pm - kids - by Lady Douche of Asscrackington (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom let me stay home from school, because I was sick. We both agreed not to tell my dad, since he's adamant that I never miss even one day of school. A few hours after my mom left for work, he came back home, with another woman. FML

#20925128
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (71805) - you deserved it (3406)

On 10/18/2013 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I heard my surgeon mutter to a nurse how easy it would be to kill me on the operating table and make it look like an accident. FML

#20940427
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50719) - you deserved it (3404)

On 10/31/2013 at 4:42pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my boyfriend broke a glass in the kitchen and accidentally stepped on it, cutting his foot. He asked me if I could help him clean his cut. Apparently, he's ticklish and I now have a huge bruise on my chest from where he kicked me. FML

#20929509
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41478) - you deserved it (3401)

On 10/21/2013 at 9:24pm - health - by ouch.... (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my bitchy co-worker decided that being given a compliment on her shoes is sexual harassment, and worthy of reporting me to our boss over. FML

#20917232
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45563) - you deserved it (3399)

On 10/12/2013 at 2:19am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while visiting my mother, she asked my son who his favorite parent was. As a growing boy, he chose his father. I don't mind, except she then asked, "So, whose side are you taking in the divorce?" My husband and I have no marital issues. My son refuses to believe us. FML

#20932049
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45475) - you deserved it (3399)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:05am - kids - by he's still not convinced (woman) - United States



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