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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started to come to during dental surgery. I clearly heard someone behind me say "Shit! Get this fucker back under!" then another person mentioning they'd have to kill me to avoid "another lawsuit", followed by laughter and the blackness of sleep. FML

#20909921
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57258) - you deserved it (3384)

On 10/06/2013 at 5:49pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48894) - you deserved it (3343)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38288) - you deserved it (3342)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States

Today, my new deodorant caused an allergic reaction, covering my armpits in a painful rash. I've had to awkwardly waddle around all day with my arms splayed outwards to get any relief. One customer at work sarcastically mentioned that it's nice that they're hiring penguins these days. FML

#20909610
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39489) - you deserved it (3341)

On 10/06/2013 at 1:40pm - health - by _/ | \_ (woman) - Singapore

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54707) - you deserved it (3316)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56724) - you deserved it (3310)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I realized that when my dad said he would pay for my college, he really meant that he was going to forge my signature on a student loan in my name and not make payments on it. FML

#20927730
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47158) - you deserved it (3308)

On 10/20/2013 at 4:34pm - money - by oh... (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38959) - you deserved it (3297)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57616) - you deserved it (3293)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38213) - you deserved it (3281)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41051) - you deserved it (3277)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)

Today, I had to buy a new boxcutter for work after our old one broke. It came in a box, the type which policy requires a boxcutter to open. FML

#20922948
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39625) - you deserved it (3273)

On 10/16/2013 at 5:42pm - misc - by Awahso - United States (Georgia)



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