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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, at the age of 23, I brought my boyfriend over to meet my parents. My father swabbed his mouth for DNA and fingerprinted him. FML

Today, I walked into the kitchen to find my daughter trying to cut her wrist with a plastic spoon. When I asked her why, she said her friend Lucy did that so her parents would buy her pretty things. My daughter and Lucy are both four years old. FML

#20902425
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48298) - you deserved it (3609)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:54pm - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my fiancée told me she can't marry me. Our wedding day is tomorrow and around 20 of our 180 guests attending have travelled half way around the world just for the occasion. FML

#20918616
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58562) - you deserved it (3590)

On 10/13/2013 at 6:49am - love - by IDon't - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer called me "chink eyes", "dog eater", "bloody Chinese communist" and "ching chong." I'm black. FML

#20919376
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56421) - you deserved it (3588)

On 10/13/2013 at 9:14pm - work - by mustabeendrugs (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my dad got me a GPS for my birthday. I appreciate the sentiment, but I don't have a permit or a car. FML

#20910835
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41972) - you deserved it (3583)

On 10/07/2013 at 11:03am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML

#20912578
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61593) - you deserved it (3576)

On 10/08/2013 at 3:17pm - misc - by mathgenius - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41463) - you deserved it (3567)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, my mother came over to visit, and my kids started excitedly telling her Christmas is coming soon. She freaked out, saying Christmas is a "Satanic holiday" and telling them that Santa is going to hell along with everyone who celebrates it. My children are now traumatized. FML

#20933801
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44794) - you deserved it (3565)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:20pm - kids - by Jane M (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, a cute guy ditched his date and walked up to me, calling me beautiful. Not knowing how to reply, I just blushed. His date got angry and left. "Sorry. I take that back," he then said. "I was just trying to get rid of her. Thanks anyway." FML

#20906907
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53475) - you deserved it (3561)

On 10/04/2013 at 5:37am - love - by okaythen (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, someone popped my birthday balloon at school. Her reasoning was that she "didn't want people to know we have the same birthday." Who popped it? My identical twin sister. FML

#20934033
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51445) - you deserved it (3559)

On 10/25/2013 at 11:03pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I met up on a blind date. He took a phone call one drink in and said he had to leave because he didn't know it was his buddy's birthday, and they were having a party without him. I offered to split the bill and put out a $20. He got up, unlocked the bicycle behind us and rode off. FML

#20927940
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40315) - you deserved it (3537)

On 10/20/2013 at 7:21pm - love - by single (woman) - United States

Today, my mom made fun of me because I'm 16 and have never had a boyfriend, then bragged that at my age she was already pregnant with me. FML

#20918137
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59673) - you deserved it (3514)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:59pm - misc - by roundtherose - United States (Alaska)

Today, I finally found a place to stay after being kicked out by my parents. The psycho owner waited till now to tell me that my bathroom door will remain locked at all times, and that whenever I want to go in there, I have to ask him to unlock it, then do my business while he waits outside. FML

#20926435
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43902) - you deserved it (3513)

On 10/19/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Belize (Belize)



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