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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started training as a bartender. My very first client told me how his wife is sleeping with her sister's husband. He then told me that all the women he knows only want sex, and asked me why "we" were like that. He could be my dad. FML

#20924792
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45787) - you deserved it (4838)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by nerdywaitress (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43709) - you deserved it (4836)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)

Today, I created a poster trying to raise self-harm awareness in teens for my school. They sent me to the counselor, suspended me, and recommended I go to therapy. FML

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42243) - you deserved it (4798)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43569) - you deserved it (4781)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States

Today, for the first time in months, a woman started flirting with me. She was wearing a sparkly shirt with "Team Edward" written on it. FML

#20915931
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42271) - you deserved it (4743)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:50pm - love - by CreamGravy (man) - Australia

Today, my boyfriend of 3 years drunkenly proposed to me, while sitting on the crapper, with the door open. FML

#20927152
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46560) - you deserved it (4725)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:06am - love - by ShittyProposal - United States (Ohio)

Today, I came across some bubble wrap. Turned out it was a special type of bubble wrap that cannot be popped. FML

#20924315
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51924) - you deserved it (4723)

On 10/17/2013 at 6:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I tried to tackle my fear of heights by riding a rollercoaster. Once we were near the top, it malfunctioned, causing it to stop, and we all had to get out and climb back down. My girlfriend laughed at me for how scared I was. FML

#20931509
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46501) - you deserved it (4719)

On 10/23/2013 at 7:16pm - misc - by monsterdanceman (man) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, after holing myself up in my room for the day, I eventually turned my phone back on and told my girlfriend that my grandma passed away today. She replied, "Ask me if I fucking care," then accused me of not caring about our relationship because I went offline all day. FML

#20918838
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50842) - you deserved it (4712)

On 10/13/2013 at 12:20pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my parents dropped by my new house, and my mother offered to tidy up for me while I was out. After they left, I noticed that her "tidying up" included throwing out all the pictures of my girlfriend and replacing them with pictures of herself. FML

#20921711
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49771) - you deserved it (4690)

On 10/15/2013 at 4:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I found out that my phone fits perfectly through the slot between the elevator and the floor. FML

#20921212
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49954) - you deserved it (4646)

On 10/15/2013 at 2:37am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally got my driver's permit. To celebrate, my parents decided to go to a bar and make me wait in the car because I'm now the designated driver. FML

#20928623
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47662) - you deserved it (4628)

On 10/21/2013 at 6:57am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)



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