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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63387) - you deserved it (4895)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44732) - you deserved it (4870)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47693) - you deserved it (4865)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52323) - you deserved it (4846)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53081) - you deserved it (4840)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (4810)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45746) - you deserved it (4806)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42773) - you deserved it (4792)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42381) - you deserved it (4767)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44327) - you deserved it (4763)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37373) - you deserved it (4748)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I put a picture of my cat on Facebook. A stranger sent me a message saying how "attractive" she was and that her eyes are "very seductive". So, basically, someone is trying to hit on my cat. FML

#20938804
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42730) - you deserved it (4714)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:03am - animals - by meow (woman) - United States



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