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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49792) - you deserved it (4992)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my father was taking pictures of my friend and me as we got ready for homecoming. After the pictures were taken, he offered to show us. He scrolled one picture too far and ended up showing us a picture of his penis. FML

#20927261
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64397) - you deserved it (4984)

On 10/20/2013 at 9:02am - intimacy - by Female_Lucifer (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45756) - you deserved it (4970)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48641) - you deserved it (4950)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, my husband confessed his pregnancy fetish to me, and now wants me to wear a fake belly when we have sex. FML

#20927617
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54051) - you deserved it (4931)

On 10/20/2013 at 3:20pm - intimacy - by U_U (woman) - United States

Today, the creepy regular customer found out I was lying about having a boyfriend in order to keep him away. He now thinks this is me playing hard to get. FML

#20916055
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44215) - you deserved it (4925)

On 10/11/2013 at 2:09am - work - by Itsnotmeitsyou (woman) - Australia

Today, a customer was paying for his food. As he placed the money in my hand, he said, "Careful, those coins are sticky." I asked why. He replied, "You know, male stuff." FML

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53196) - you deserved it (4896)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46598) - you deserved it (4894)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I got my cats a new scratching post. They completely ignored it and tore apart the new felt on my pool table. FML

#20938376
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38480) - you deserved it (4881)

On 10/29/2013 at 8:41pm - animals - by Nish (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was working a kid's birthday party dressed as a clown. The child's mother made me change because he was scared of clowns. The only thing I had in my car was a princess costume that was owned by a girl co-worker. So for 4 hours I had to entertain in a tight pink dress. I'm a guy. FML

#20913049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45118) - you deserved it (4857)

On 10/08/2013 at 9:19pm - kids - by Allycat (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I fell asleep while at the beach with friends. Someone thought it would be funny to put chunks of bread on and around my junk. Seagulls have sharp beaks. FML

#20920631
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43090) - you deserved it (4845)

On 10/14/2013 at 8:16pm - misc - by zzfreakshow (man) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my students to buy a copy of Anne Frank's diary for an assignment. One of them asked me in all seriousness who wrote it. FML

#20925665
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46519) - you deserved it (4844) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/18/2013 at 8:05pm - kids - by Huedadaa - France (Picardie)



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