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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

#20929956
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43545) - you deserved it (4600)

On 10/22/2013 at 5:12am - animals - by IamAflyingCat - United States

Today, my husband and I were watching Jurassic Park. At the end of the movie, he commented on how amazed he was that they could "train those dinosaurs" to do exactly what they wanted them to do. FML

#20937890
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44297) - you deserved it (4580)

On 10/29/2013 at 1:01pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that when my boyfriend jokingly talks about his other girlfriend, he isn't actually joking. FML

#20928840
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46605) - you deserved it (4523)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:42pm - love - by other woman - United States (California)

Today, my grandmother convinced me to come to a church meeting with her. My grandmother then made funny faces at me while the pastor was speaking, causing me to laugh out loud. Everyone heard me, including the pastor. FML

#20905574
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31776) - you deserved it (4513)

On 10/03/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I replaced a usually fun collegue's picture of his kids with a picture of my face against glass, so it looked I was inside the screen. Everyone laughed, but he reported me because I tried to "erase his children" and "if anything happens to them" it's now my fault. FML

#20922441
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38365) - you deserved it (4509)

On 10/16/2013 at 4:22am - work - by Elcam (man) - Belgium

Today, I read an article about the top 10 worst jobs this year. This list includes my degree and three of my main skills and interests. FML

#20921448
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40419) - you deserved it (4497)

On 10/15/2013 at 11:51am - work - by collegegrad (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend of a year denied in front of everyone that we ever dated. FML

#20930973
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47978) - you deserved it (4473)

On 10/23/2013 at 11:42am - love - by Zkroger (man) - United States

Today, my grandmother called me in a fit of panic because her new neighbors are black. So is my fiancé, whom she is supposed to meet tomorrow. FML

#20921768
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44760) - you deserved it (4456)

On 10/15/2013 at 5:43pm - misc - by secretsmakefriends (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went on a blind date. The girl seemed perfect for me, until I found out she says "lol" and "rofl" out loud whenever she laughs. She also believes sex screws with people's "spiritual energy", and that's why she'll never have it. FML

#20934761
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41854) - you deserved it (4387)

On 10/26/2013 at 5:27pm - love - by CUCKOO (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I realized I have erectile dysfunction while drunk, and premature ejaculation while sober. FML

#20932595
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (4377)

On 10/24/2013 at 5:26pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

#20925494
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49838) - you deserved it (4376)

On 10/18/2013 at 7:01pm - love - by O-|---<=~ (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my mother kept nagging at me because my 9-month-old daughter only calms down when I play her metal. She demands I use gospel, otherwise she will turn into a "devil-worshipping lunatic like her mother". FML

#20915864
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39880) - you deserved it (4371)

On 10/10/2013 at 11:04pm - kids - by SlapAndTickle - United States

Today, I am 20 weeks pregnant. My fiancé has decided my new nickname will be "Oink Oink". FML

#20917413
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39192) - you deserved it (4354)

On 10/12/2013 at 9:19am - love - by oink oink... - United States (Texas)



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