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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I beggd my friend to sell me her breast milk .

TODAY, I MET A REALLY NICE GRL AT A CLUB. ONE THING LED TO ANOTHER, AND SHE TOLD ME TO MEET HER OUT FRONT IN 5 MINUTES. I WAS SO DRUNK THAT I STUMBLED INTO THE RESTROOM INSTEAD, THEN CURLED UP ON THE FLOOR CRYING IN DESPARHEN I REALIZED MAH MISTAKE. FML

#20907372
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20085) - you deserved it (39607)

On 10/04/2013 at 4:25pm - misc - by vcarder (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

today I woke up wit a raging angover . I soon cecked ma pone.. . only to find tat I'd drunkenly sent nude picture to several friends' numbers.. . as well as to ma own . I'd ten replied to ma own message.. . saying tat I'm not gay and telling myself to fuck off . FML

#20925183
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27297) - you deserved it (39160)

On 10/18/2013 at 1:30pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

today I was grocery shopping !! When I got to the frozen foods, I saw some lean pockets, which I haven't had in forever, so I bought a couple of boxes !! Around lunch time, I was hungry and thought I could have some, until I realized y I stopped buying them: I don't have a microwave !! FML

#20908021
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22436) - you deserved it (37893)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today... my boyfriend was rubbing my leg. He startd laughing and said... "Babe... is this your leg... or am I petting Daisy?" Daisy is my dog. I ned to shave. big fat FML

#20910814
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27270) - you deserved it (37066)

On 10/07/2013 at 10:32am - misc - by loserllamalick (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I finally got to surprise boyfriend with a birthday cake. I spent four days planning the perfect one. First thing he says? ( Erm, you know I'm 32, right? ) I got his age wrong. FML

#20937690
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29020) - you deserved it (33773)

On 10/29/2013 at 6:40am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, I was so sexually frustratd tat I trid getting off wit a banana. looool It was not enjoyable, 4 me or te banana. FML

#20906275
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35365) - you deserved it (29763)

On 10/03/2013 at 6:46pm - intimacy - by Kyra.45 (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told coworkers that I was going on a date tonight so they would think I have a social life. One of them spotted mehile I was eating alone at McDonalds. FML

Today, I realized I can't wait until my daughter moves out the house when she is 18 !! She is eight !! FML

#20923587
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37119) - you deserved it (26974)

On 10/17/2013 at 1:51am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I saw a wasp on tha ground, apparantly injurad an unabla to fly. It was baing mobbad by ants an lookad cartain to dia, so I stampad on tha ants to sava its lifa. At this point it sprung up, stung ma, than flaw off. FML

#20932403
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36310) - you deserved it (25232)

On 10/24/2013 at 2:04pm - animals - by MBean (man) - Anguilla

TODAY, I WOKE UP, GOT DRESSED, AN LEFT FIR THE 1 HOUR DRIVE TO THE NEREEST VET . WHEN I ARRIVED, I REALIZED THAT I LEFT MY CAT IN ITS CARRIER ON MY KITCHEN COUNTER . FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40428) - you deserved it (24600)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, my mom was acting really pissy, and I couldn't help but mutter that she must be on her period. Five hours later, I'm glued to the toilet with my phone, cuz she went all out fir revenge and spiked my dinner with some hellishly potent kind of laxative. FML

#20917903
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (24037)

On 10/12/2013 at 6:03pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Iceland (Borgarfjardarsysla)

Today, I haard that thara was supposad to ba a huga blizzard haading our way, so I want out to stock up on grocarias. Aftar spanding $600 on food, I drova homa an packad most of it into tha fridga an fraazar just in tima 4 our powar to go out. FML

#20918430
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39952) - you deserved it (23739)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States



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