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October 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34129) - you deserved it (14702)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, it hit me that I'm incredibly pathetic, when at the age of 21, I tucked my stuffed animals into bed with me, facing in different directions so they could keep watch for monsters while I slept. FML

#20922788
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43808) - you deserved it (14525)

On 10/16/2013 at 2:48pm - misc - by SaveMeTeddy (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, my 19-year-old, long-distance boyfriend told me he wouldn't be able to text me all day because it's too hard to type while in his Spider-Man suit. It's non-negotiable. FML

#20940116
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (14265)

On 10/31/2013 at 10:30am - love - by AML (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend came onto me in a romantic gesture. We ended up having sex, forgetting that the window repair guy was supposed to come today and do some work on our third floor apartment windows. I still don't know how much he saw. FML

#20939175
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45163) - you deserved it (14101)

On 10/30/2013 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by English_Nut117 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I fell asleep while my boyfriend and I were having sex. What's worse is that he didn't even notice. FML

#20910165
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49904) - you deserved it (13371)

On 10/06/2013 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Sleepy head - United States

Today, I was cuddling my new boyfriend, when he went in to kiss me for the first time. Sadly, I reflexively kneed him in the balls. FML

#20917814
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40994) - you deserved it (13173)

On 10/12/2013 at 4:28pm - love - by fuck.jpg.bmp.gif.rar.zip.shit (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I rushed to a dentist's appointment. Once in the chair, I apologized for not having had the time to brush my teeth beforehand. He responded with, "Ah that's alright, I just took a piss and forgot to wash my hands." FML

#20937985
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48087) - you deserved it (13077)

On 10/29/2013 at 2:57pm - health - by Anonymous - Zimbabwe

Today, in revenge for me pulling the old salt-in-the-soda prank on him, my dad showed up at my college dressed in a tight blouse and miniskirt, demanding that I come home early with him. I think I'm going to be lynched next time I go to class. FML

#20919140
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38032) - you deserved it (12780)

On 10/13/2013 at 5:20pm - misc - by HSampsON (man) - Niger (Niamey)

Today, my best friend went in for her scheduled mammogram, and I sent her a text saying, "How're your boobies?" It was only after I sent it that I realized I'd sent it to my history professor. FML

#20930198
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40956) - you deserved it (12257)

On 10/22/2013 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I tried Ambien for the first time. I now have to apologize to most of my exes for excessively rambling emails about getting together for some naked Twister. FML

#20929399
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33357) - you deserved it (11249)

On 10/21/2013 at 8:12pm - health - by OutOfMyMind (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was cycling home when I saw my sister, who lives a 4 hour drive away, walking past me on the path. I turned my head and called to her, causing me not to notice the pothole in front of me. My front wheel went in and I went over the handlebars. It wasn't even my sister. FML

#20933277
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38027) - you deserved it (10957)

On 10/25/2013 at 8:19am - misc - by karlajjjjj (woman) - United Kingdom (Northamptonshire)

Today, after almost 2 days, I finally fell asleep, during my husband's vows, on our wedding day, in front of 250 guests. FML

#20917263
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46358) - you deserved it (10595)

On 10/12/2013 at 3:23am - love - by angryinlaws (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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