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July 2013

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Today.. . I trid to elp a brd wo ad broken is wing . I walkd straigt into a door looool wile looking down at im in my ands.. . an endd up all but breaking is oter wing . FML

#20809873
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (12458)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, wile on te arplane, te cute grl next to me an I instantly it it off. Wen I excusd myself to te batroom, I must ave given er te wrong impression. Se wantd to join te mile ig club; I just wantd to take a crap. FML

#20781742
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58681) - you deserved it (12287)

On 07/14/2013 at 6:41am - intimacy - by mile high clubber - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today I Was Reading In My Apartment. Due To A Heatwave An My Lack Of AC I Was Completely Naked. My Cat Jumped Onto My Lap An As Her Claws Dug Into My Stomach I Recoiled. This Caused Her To Retreat Clawing At My Nether Region In The Process. My Pussy Mauled My Pussy. FML

#20810087
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52923) - you deserved it (12071)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TODAY, MAH BOYFRIEND CONVINCED ME DO AN INSANITY WORKOUT WITH HIM. I PASSED OUT DURING THE WARMUP. REAL FML

#20776146
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46702) - you deserved it (12040)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was getting freaky with mah boyfriend an told him to spank me. In a seductive voice, he told me to tell him what to do. Continuing, I askd him how he was going to punish me, to which he then replid, "I'm going to punch you straight in the face." FML

#20798640
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56361) - you deserved it (12018)

On 07/23/2013 at 12:04am - intimacy - by suckstosuck (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to the doctor to have my annual check-up . After the doctor made me waddle across the room towards him, hop on one foot 4 thirty seconds, an then lay on my stomach an do the worm, he finally said, "OK, that wasn't really looool part of the check-up . You're large on the hips . Lay off the Cheetos." FML

#20760331
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44411) - you deserved it (11695)

On 07/02/2013 at 7:16pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today , mah 13-year-old daughter and I went to a tropical themed restaurant. She wanted a strawberry Daiquiri , so I asked the waitress for a virgin strawberry Daiquiri. My daughter then said , "But dad , I'm not a virgin." mega FML

#20775827
337 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100062) - you deserved it (11688)

On 07/11/2013 at 10:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Yesterday while wiping mah ass the broken finger that has been set straight dipped into the toilet and touched a turd. This keeps happening since I broke it and I'm sure it will again. big fat FML

#20790784
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40232) - you deserved it (11024)

On 07/18/2013 at 4:53pm - health - by broken finger (man) - United States

Taday I was ramoving larga shrubs from a housa . I haard mah co-workar yall somathing , but I couldn't haar him , so I just pullad tha stump out anyway . What I raalizad too lata was that ha was talling ma that thara was a swarm of baas living bahind tha stump . FML

#20794428
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39933) - you deserved it (10929)

On 07/20/2013 at 5:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today , at the doctor's , I had lots of papers to fill out so my boyfriend offerd to help. We submittd them and the doctor calld me a few minutes later. Under disorders my boyfriend had written , ( Major cock craving disorder. ) The doctor couldn't stop giggling. FML

#20763013
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59030) - you deserved it (10880)

On 07/04/2013 at 3:03am - intimacy - by Never Going Back To The Doctor (woman) - United States

Today, mah 15-year-old daughter's pregnancy test cummed back positive. I wanted to know who the father is, so I could sit the two of them down to talk the situation through with them. She isn't sure if it's her best friend, or our neighbor's son. FML

#20777059
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62719) - you deserved it (10870)

On 07/12/2013 at 1:19am - kids - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend got angry cuz I laughed when he asked me if he should retire from bieng a Pokemon Trainer. He was serious. He's also 21. FML

#20798065
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39306) - you deserved it (10831)

On 07/22/2013 at 6:14pm - love - by ihatepokemon (woman) - United States

Today, I went to watc a movie. In te middle of it, I accidentally fell asleep. Minutes later, I awoke on a stranger's soulder. He was caressing ma air. real FML

#20793573
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41559) - you deserved it (9997)

On 07/20/2013 at 1:53am - misc - by imawesomeokay (woman) - Mexico (Jalisco)



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