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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, I went to the pool with my son. One moment I'm sitting down, applying sunscreen to my legs, and the next I look up to see him squatting on the diving board, seconds before dropping a deuce into the pool. As we got kicked out, he screamed that it was my fault. FML

#20777956
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47241) - you deserved it (6142)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:27pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43541) - you deserved it (6127)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56578) - you deserved it (6067)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39765) - you deserved it (6052)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56969) - you deserved it (5912)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67707) - you deserved it (5854)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50132) - you deserved it (5821)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43054) - you deserved it (5787)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59742) - you deserved it (5781)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51849) - you deserved it (5765)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my step-brother said to me, "If we weren't related I would fuck you so hard." Mom says I should "be grateful for such a nice compliment." FML

#20809554
220 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65568) - you deserved it (5677)

On 07/29/2013 at 11:07am - misc - by PrettyScared (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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