Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56193) - you deserved it (5978)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55388) - you deserved it (5970)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (5924)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41267) - you deserved it (5875)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66628) - you deserved it (5781)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60551) - you deserved it (5771)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42934) - you deserved it (5769)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54871) - you deserved it (5725)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48744) - you deserved it (5661)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39826) - you deserved it (5543)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend insisted that I start calling him "Professor Fucktard" in the bedroom. He seems to be dead serious about it. FML

#20777932
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43363) - you deserved it (5476)

On 07/12/2013 at 4:15pm - misc - by O_O (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: