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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I came back from vacation only to find my 16-year-old son was throwing a party with over 30 kids in our house. My 33-year-old sister was having fun dancing on a table. FML

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56158) - you deserved it (5977)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I saw my girlfriend for the first time in weeks. She had a hickey. FML

#20758014
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55025) - you deserved it (5934)

On 07/01/2013 at 2:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52164) - you deserved it (5922)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I couldn't move without people talking to me about the "Royal Baby". It's like it's actually going to have an effect on my life. FML

#20797431
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41243) - you deserved it (5874)

On 07/22/2013 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, I was at the store, when I saw my boyfriend in line in front of me. I looked to see what he was purchasing; it was a pack of condoms. When I questioned him, he said that, "They're for us, babe!" We already have an unopened pack at home, and it's my time of the month. FML

#20799401
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60509) - you deserved it (5770)

On 07/23/2013 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by MenstruallyFrustrated - United States (Arizona)

Today, I arrived in Germany for a summer-long stay. The family I'm supposed to stay with had said they spoke fluent English. They don't. I don't speak German. It's going to be a quiet two months. FML

#20772031
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42907) - you deserved it (5767)

On 07/09/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by traveling -

Today, my boyfriend nicknamed my vagina after a local waterpark. It wasn't even that annoying until his friends started asking me how much I charged to let people "ride n' slide". FML

#20768896
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54833) - you deserved it (5723)

On 07/07/2013 at 4:07pm - intimacy - by roseland (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I discovered that when my husband agreed to donate sperm so an infertile friend and his wife could have children, there was nothing "artificial" about the insemination. FML

#20762781
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65775) - you deserved it (5704)

On 07/04/2013 at 12:41am - intimacy - by OnPlanetVenus (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I helped my buddy write a sweet love letter to his girlfriend. After reading it, she dumped him for being an "Edward Cullen wannabe", and when my girlfriend found out, she dumped me for "cheating" on her by writing the letter in the first place. FML

#20802821
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48722) - you deserved it (5660)

On 07/25/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by ........................... (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I had to help my constipated dog by squeezing crap out of her butt. This is a daily occurrence. FML

Today, I jokingly told my friend that when a tree seems to sway in the wind, it's really just having an orgasm. Not only did she believe me, she's been smugly informing everyone we know. She's 26. I seem to be friends with an absolute idiot. FML

#20795779
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39796) - you deserved it (5538)

On 07/21/2013 at 1:46pm - misc - by what have i done with my life (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49224) - you deserved it (5465)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)



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  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

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