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July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, mah boyfriend and I were out cliff jumping,hen for the frst time, he told me he loved me. I panicked and pushed him over the edge and into the water. He's looool now in hospital.

#20770545
252 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30257) - you deserved it (66726)

On 07/08/2013 at 1:27pm - love - by Erica (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to my father for advice. I've been seeing a wonderful girl for the past month, an I feel terrible about it, because I already have a girlfriend. He said "Kill yourself" an that if I "can't even do that right" then to get out of his house, because he disowns me. FML

#20805096
285 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28539) - you deserved it (65440)

On 07/26/2013 at 6:11pm - love - by i suck, this i know :( (man) - Malawi (Blantyre)

Today, I trid acid fir the first time while camping with mah best friend. A drunk driver smashd into mah car, leaving it totald. I had to explain the situation to a cop all while thinking mah car was bleeding green ooze.

#20759193
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25202) - you deserved it (64716)

On 07/02/2013 at 1:24am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was chatting online with several relatives, discussing our family reunion . Bored out of mah mind, I clicked to rename the conversation to ( Boring shit with almost dead people . ) I didn't know it'd looool rename it for everyone . FML

Today, I held a house party. For fun, I made sure all the beer was alcohol-free, so I could see which of mah friends would be weak-minded enough to end up acting drunk. Three did. I was one of them. real FML

#20782525
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24482) - you deserved it (62547)

On 07/14/2013 at 5:25pm - misc - by scheisse (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I realized tat getting wasted before finals is not a good idea. I sat down in te test all, reaced into my bag 4 a pencil, and found instead tree baby carrots and a spoon. FML

#20757745
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19005) - you deserved it (59270)

On 07/01/2013 at 10:39am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today , I was browsing porn in my room,hen my dad barged in. I quickly switched to another tab , only to see it was parked on another porn page. I had another browser window open , so I switched to that. More porn. My dad said , "Riiiggghhhttt... You need help , son." real FML

#20779957
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28039) - you deserved it (54978)

On 07/13/2013 at 1:22pm - misc - by fuck (man) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today... trying to looool flrt with a grl... I was trying to make it out as if I had a great sex life. I got stuck between saying "100% customer satisfaction" and "no complaints" and blurted out "100% customer complaints." FML

#20796252
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27372) - you deserved it (54132)

On 07/21/2013 at 7:58pm - intimacy - by MarkQ95 (man) - Ireland

Today , my grlfriend said she wantd to get a little crazy and try some role-play. ( Act like u don't want it , ) she said. Without thinking , I replid , ( Well , that should be easy. ) FML

#20790896
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30197) - you deserved it (50940)

On 07/18/2013 at 5:48pm - intimacy - by FootinMouth (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today... I needed a change of clothes... so I called my mom. She brought me a grey shrt with a toucan on the front an Mexico City spelled in glitter. I asked her why she would bring me such an ugly shrt... an she started crying. Turns out she bought it 4 me as a present from her trip. FML

#20762834
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26060) - you deserved it (50933)

On 07/04/2013 at 1:07am - misc - by awwimanahole (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, trying to be funny in front of some friends, I held mah cat above mah head Lion King style !! The hieght must have made him nervous, because he shat on mah head !! FML

#20788265
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28421) - you deserved it (50584)

On 07/17/2013 at 12:02pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today , I receivd a text from my dad , which was borderline-incomprehensible due to an insane amount of text language. I replid , jokingly askd if he had a stroke while writing it. A few second after hitting send , I rememberd the stroke he sufferd last month. FML

#20777593
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20610) - you deserved it (50042)

On 07/12/2013 at 12:35pm - misc - by hellbound (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was eating a corndog, when boyfriend jokingly told me to ( take it deeper ) . I did, and ended up choking and throwing up all over the table . big fat FML

#20775966
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26070) - you deserved it (49295)

On 07/11/2013 at 1:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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