Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

#20700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38822) - you deserved it (13936)

On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dad went snooping on my laptop, and saw that I'd recently looked up 2 Girls, 1 Cup. It was out of morbid curiosity, but he thinks I'm into "satanic porn", and confiscated every electronic device I own. Now I have to sneak to the library just to check my emails. FML

#20697878
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35972) - you deserved it (13354)

On 05/31/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by nbj10 (man) - Singapore

Today, my puppy came into my room, and I cupped his head in my hands and bent down to kiss him. As I did, I realized that the part of his head I was kissing was covered in his own shit that he'd seemingly been rolling in. FML

#20707414
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40536) - you deserved it (13008)

On 06/05/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by SHIT-BREATH (man) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)

Today, I went to a new bar with friends. After arriving I became extremely gassy; I planned a smooth release during the loud music. Little did I know the bar occasionally dips its music to hear the guests singing. When the music turned off all eyes turned to me. FML

#20731175
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37651) - you deserved it (12851)

On 06/17/2013 at 9:55am - health - by nomwar (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

#20744476
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45227) - you deserved it (12833)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm - animals - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I let my step-father know exactly what I thought of him. After a few moments of awkward silence, he leaned towards me and quietly whispered, "Well you're adopted. Your parents never loved you." FML

#20707377
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51487) - you deserved it (12812)

On 06/05/2013 at 11:24am - misc - by SkeetinKeaton (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my restaurant's food is so bad that the only reason some people visit is because they're punishing their kids. FML

#20715456
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42589) - you deserved it (12585)

On 06/09/2013 at 1:38pm - work - by not the cook (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my mother threw away my brand new headphones. She saw them on the couch with duct tape on the wires and assumed they were "old, broken, and cheap." I put the tape there to avoid damaging the wires. FML

#20720827
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40617) - you deserved it (12208)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:59am - money - by why mom, why? - United States (California)

Today, I walked in on my dad masturbating to a nude photo of my mum on the computer. She passed away four years ago. FML

#20713899
264 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65319) - you deserved it (12157)

On 06/08/2013 at 4:53pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bromley)

Today, my friend got dumped. I wanted to say, "You must be devastated", thinking, "That really sucks." I said, "You must really suck." FML

#20717146
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41706) - you deserved it (12111)

On 06/10/2013 at 7:22am - misc - by Oops (woman) - United States

Today, I tried explaining to my mom how liking her own posts on Facebook wasn't very cool. I later logged in to see she'd added all my friends and posted naked baby pictures of me, captioning them, "Now I don't have to like my own posts." FML

Today, I tried to lift my girlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then heard a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated my kneecap trying to be romantic. She only weighs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46013) - you deserved it (11862)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, a deaf customer came to my work. In an attempt to connect with him I introduced myself in sign language. He just rolled his eyes and pointed at my name tag. FML

#20707121
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43370) - you deserved it (11623)

On 06/05/2013 at 5:46am - work - by WOWBear - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: