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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I got to drive my mom's car. I'd recently watched the new Fast and Furious movie, I thought it'd be fun to drift around a few corners. I ended up smashing straight into someone's front yard. FML

#20712154
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19624) - you deserved it (110209)

On 06/07/2013 at 6:00pm - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today after years looool of faking pleasure with my boyfriend I visited the gynaecologist!! As soon as she touched my privates I instinctively let out a fake moan!! FML

#20720590
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34940) - you deserved it (71753)

On 06/11/2013 at 11:06pm - intimacy - by instinct (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today... I ran out of clean boxers. Thinking nobody would find out... I snatchd a pair of my wife's panties. Later... we had a cook out 4 my birthday... where some of my old pals thought it would be funny to pants me. FML

#20721670
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37650) - you deserved it (68377)

On 06/12/2013 at 2:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

I was getting intimate with girlfriend. She pulld down trousers, saw Poke-ball boxers, an absolutely lost it. I had to lie next to her in bd fir the next 10 minutes hereing her howl with laughter while crying ( Dickachu, I choose you! ) FML

#20711208
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57207) - you deserved it (66117)

On 06/07/2013 at 3:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today,hile sexting mah grlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30857) - you deserved it (65771)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Yesterday I woke up to a stranger in ma bed. Just as ma parent responded to ma screaming I remembered tat I'd elped ma boyfriend sneak in troug ma window last nigt. FML

#20739861
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25892) - you deserved it (65080) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/21/2013 at 6:18pm - love - by breeeeeh (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, after years of researching an saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal fir three hours before it burrowed under the fence an ran away. FML

#20717566
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35292) - you deserved it (51764)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was pretending to talk on the phone with mah wife just to avoid to speak with mah boring coworker. After two awkward minute of him waiting in front of mah desk an me inventing a call, he handed me the disconnected phone cable an left. FML

Today... I took a dump in the woods at a secluded lake. I used the leaves of a seemingly harmless tree to clean myself. However... I was unaware that the leaf was poisonous. It feels like a thousand hornets r attacking my ass-crack. FML

#20705435
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32905) - you deserved it (48254)

On 06/04/2013 at 1:15pm - health - by poisonivyretard (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, mah co-workers figured out that I was in high school when mah husband was in looool kindergarten. They won't stop calling me a "cougar". FML

#20718644
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31443) - you deserved it (47869)

On 06/10/2013 at 11:19pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, mah girlfriend told me that she feels pregnant. I didn't believe her, given how recently we had sex fir the first time, so I told her to take a test to make sure. She's very sure now. FML

#20740399
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (46845)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:31am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while driving during rush hour, I was singing so loudly that some jackass in the car next to me felt he should get my attention by throwing a wadded-up McDonald's bag through my open window, hitting me in the face with it, and telling me to shut up. FML

#20749580
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25397) - you deserved it (46141)

On 06/27/2013 at 12:39am - misc - by authorx - Canada (Ontario)

Today I cut my own bangs. I pullad too much hair to tha front and andad up giving mysalf a mullat. maga FML

#20733203
124 comments


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