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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was eating an ice cream cone, when I felt something drop onto my bottom lip. Assuming it was a piece of ice cream, I quickly pulled it into my mouth. After a sharp sting to my tongue, I spat it out. It was a bee. FML

#20744693
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48669) - you deserved it (7156)

On 06/24/2013 at 2:49pm - health - by SillyScotsman - United Kingdom (South Lanarkshire)

Today, I foolishly thought that I was alone in the house, and let out a huge fart on the toilet. This went on for a while due to an upset stomach. I later walked into the living room only to find my parents and a few of their friends sitting on the couch, teary-eyed from laughing so much. FML

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36739) - you deserved it (7114)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, a girl from my college, who's been following me around for months, finally asked me out. Not being interested, I politely declined. Now she's convinced everyone that we hooked up and that I have an incredibly small penis. FML

#20752684
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49574) - you deserved it (7005)

On 06/28/2013 at 3:41pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
274 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84262) - you deserved it (6920)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me for not remembering our anniversary. Our three week anniversary. FML

#20702606
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58855) - you deserved it (6828)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:31am - love - by BadBoyfriend - United States (Texas)

Today, a wasp flew into my car. In my frantic attempt to get away from it, I got pulled over and had to prove I was driving sober. FML

Today, I found out that the same police officer who has arrested me twice has been sleeping with my wife. FML

#20731650
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74727) - you deserved it (6784)

On 06/17/2013 at 3:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39111) - you deserved it (6759)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, whilst trying on wedding dresses with my mom, she told me that I looked fat and awful in the dress I liked. When I told her how hurtful she was being, she told me that I should be grateful that she told me what she thought instead of laughing at me behind my back. FML

#20722079
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43456) - you deserved it (6740)

On 06/12/2013 at 6:09pm - misc - by mysea8679 (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60516) - you deserved it (6729)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52458) - you deserved it (6716)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41560) - you deserved it (6656)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)



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