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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I went to the gym for the first time in a while. I was doing upper body workouts and decided to ask a very large man to spot me while I did bench presses. As he stood over me, I saw two beads of sweat roll off his nose. One hit me on the cheek. The other landed in my open mouth. FML

#20709141
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48622) - you deserved it (8332)

On 06/06/2013 at 4:49am - misc - by dollabill009 - United States

Today, I was eating lunch when my grandmother came over and started watching me. Suddenly she said, "I see you're getting breasts". I'm a guy. FML

#20736581
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41907) - you deserved it (8227)

On 06/20/2013 at 1:49am - misc - by ohmygod (man) - United States

Today, I was bombarded with phone calls from debt collectors. After some investigation, it turns out my grandma, who has dementia, has been going into our mailbox and throwing away the outgoing mail because it wasn't addressed to her. I'm now apparently 3 months behind in payments. FML

#20720825
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48589) - you deserved it (8173)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:57am - money - by redvolvo23 - United States

Today, while running, a man ran up next to me and started jogging with me. He asked if he could run with me and I said yes. Later, when I told him I was going home, he followed me home. When I asked him to leave, he say down on my lawn in protest. He has been there for over 4 hours. FML

#20738304
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54927) - you deserved it (8160)

On 06/21/2013 at 12:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my 6-year-old son was so angry at me for not buying him overpriced candy at the airport, that he told a security guard I had a machine gun in my suitcase. The interrogation was not pleasant. FML

#20703790
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64551) - you deserved it (8018)

On 06/03/2013 at 5:16pm - kids - by VDM (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to go to therapy for my fear of cats. All the way there, my girlfriend kept making cat noises and scratching at me. FML

#20748338
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42090) - you deserved it (8010)

On 06/26/2013 at 12:42pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my husband finally returned from his 18-month deployment. Sexually starved, we wasted no time getting busy. Later as we finally cooled off, I got a message from my Aunt. She was hiding in our closet the whole time to surprise us with cake for his safe return. FML

#20743795
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (84870) - you deserved it (7748)

On 06/24/2013 at 12:37am - intimacy - by jgtrflynn (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, after dating for almost a year, I decided to introduce my parents to the man I was sure I'd fallen in love with. When dad saw him, his and my boyfriend's face completely dropped. I asked them what was wrong because I could feel the discomfort. Turns out, I'm dating my dad's drug dealer. FML

#20724998
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78256) - you deserved it (7667)

On 06/14/2013 at 2:48am - love - by explanations (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my husband farted, grabbed a fan and blew the smell right at me. Disgusted, I reminded him that I’m a lady, not a dude. He burst out laughing and sang, "Dude looks like a lady." FML

#20716353
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43024) - you deserved it (7661)

On 06/09/2013 at 9:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked if I could grow out my pubic hair since I usually wax it. He said his mom has a full bush and he always thought it looks better that way. FML

#20719191
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90283) - you deserved it (7513)

On 06/11/2013 at 8:00am - intimacy - by notyourmom (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I was at a swim meet, swimming as hard as I'd ever swum before. During the last lap I saw no one in the lanes next to me. Thinking I was first, I became extremely excited. When I came to the wall, I realized the reason no one else was around: They already finished the race. I was last. FML

#20724700
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50579) - you deserved it (7486)

On 06/14/2013 at 12:06am - misc - by :( - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a concussion and several staples in my head. As it turns out, watering flowers is much more dangerous than it might sound. FML

#20716424
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39702) - you deserved it (7471)

On 06/09/2013 at 10:27pm - health - by Sean - United States

Today, my girlfriend got into bed with me and started fooling around. I had a terrible migraine, which she knew, so I asked her to stop because it wasn't helping. She then yelled at me for being "ungrateful" and "selfish", and accused me of secretly being gay. FML

#20725929
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47549) - you deserved it (7425)

On 06/14/2013 at 5:21pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)



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