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June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I cleaned up my brother's room, since he's moved out. Under the bed I found a Doritos bag full of used condoms. FML

#20749135
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60689) - you deserved it (6745)

On 06/26/2013 at 9:02pm - intimacy - by the_lonely_life - United States

Today, my boyfriend called me pretty. Not because he actually thinks I'm pretty, but because "Hey, how else is a guy supposed to get laid?" FML

#20754112
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56875) - you deserved it (6719)

On 06/29/2013 at 11:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was invited to a party. Since I rarely get invited to any, I was super pumped. Both my parents work late, so I texted a couple of people to see if I could catch a ride. It turned out everyone's cars were full. I ended up missing one of the only parties I've ever been invited to. FML

#20702631
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52483) - you deserved it (6718)

On 06/03/2013 at 12:45am - misc - by my_only_friend (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41585) - you deserved it (6664)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, while working the graveyard shift at my hotel, it felt a little chilly, so I grabbed a blanket out of the box we usually store old blankets in. 20 minutes later, the live-in maintenance man casually remarked that those blankets are all infected with bed-bugs. FML

#20741908
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43028) - you deserved it (6611)

On 06/23/2013 at 12:10am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I walked in on my grandma playing with herself. Every time I close my eyes, I see things that no mortal was ever meant to see. FML

#20739366
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69258) - you deserved it (6585)

On 06/21/2013 at 5:00pm - intimacy - by bleeeaaaaaacccccchhhhhhhh (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I heard my roommate moaning my name in the shower. FML

#20728960
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63395) - you deserved it (6531)

On 06/16/2013 at 7:37am - intimacy - by idontwanttoknow - United States

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49477) - you deserved it (6479)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I walked into the living room, only to find my brother wanking off to an episode of My Little Pony. FML

#20726036
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64856) - you deserved it (6430)

On 06/14/2013 at 6:29pm - intimacy - by bestiality, not even once (woman) - Ireland (Waterford)

Today, my boyfriend found an empty snail shell. I tried messing with him by saying the snail had turned into a slug, like caterpillars turn into butterflies. He quickly replied, "Yeah I know. I'm not a tard, babe." and said he'd been taught all that and more back in school. What the hell? FML

#20741108
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42843) - you deserved it (6419)

On 06/22/2013 at 3:28pm - misc - by our kids will be derps (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I started playing softball again in a league after not playing for about 5 years. My very first time at the bat I whacked a foul ball into the parking lot and hit my own car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45224) - you deserved it (6347)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was at work talking to an older man. As our conversation ended, he said, "Thank you, ma'am." Then, he quickly stumbled over his words as he said, "I mean, thank you, sir. I meant sir. I think." He gazed at me for a moment in confusion, then darted away. FML

Today, I went on my first ever assisted skydive. I fainted after we jumped, and only came to as we touched the ground. FML

#20702129
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45526) - you deserved it (6287) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 06/02/2013 at 7:14pm - health - by Fuperman - France (Lorraine)



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