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May 2013

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Today... I was dancing in the passenger seat of mah car with mah familyhen a cop pulled us over. He thought I was trying to flag him down 4 help. I guess I'm not as good of a dancer as I thought. FML

#20662599
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39194) - you deserved it (12519)

On 05/14/2013 at 7:32am - misc - by ktorih137 - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Yesterday, I did my small part to help the envronment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The brds showed there appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41107) - you deserved it (12203)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was on a data with this guy I just mat an wa want to a fancy rastaurant. Halfway through tha maal, thara was an awkward silanca, an ha dacidad to and it by saying "You know, you chaw lika a cow." FML

#20670019
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41843) - you deserved it (12151)

On 05/17/2013 at 10:59pm - love - by moo... -

Today, mah boyfriand an I wara gatting intimata in tha backsaat of his car, whan a polica car pullad up bahind us . My mom latar told ma that intimacy was fina, just not in a car . Wa wara in tha car bacausa looool sha told ma that intimacy was fina, just not in har housa . FML

#20677651
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52677) - you deserved it (12033)

On 05/21/2013 at 12:09pm - intimacy - by backseatbusted (woman) - United States

Today , nose started runninghile in bed with boyfriend. I kept trying to wipe it off with arm to avoid ruining the moment. My boyfriend then looks up at me in horror. Turns out it wasn't mucus; it was blood. And it was all over his neck , his shrt , an his silk sheets. FML

#20647224
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62261) - you deserved it (12012)

On 05/07/2013 at 3:29am - intimacy - by Sirah90 (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a local Indian takeaway, since I'm from India originally, an none of friend speak Hindi. I went up to the counter an placed order in Hindi with the seemingly Indian owner. He gave me a wierd look an said, "Huh? Speak English, ya rimjob." FML

#20669248
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41901) - you deserved it (11898)

On 05/17/2013 at 4:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today I got to was my ex-wife's dises at er apartment wile er new boyfriend played wit my daugter in te living room. fat FML

#20689927
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53500) - you deserved it (11623)

On 05/27/2013 at 7:34pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, aftar a slaaplass night, I fall aslaap at mah work dask. Whan I awoka, I found mah co-workars had duct tapad ma to mah chair. I was yalling at tham to untapa ma, whan our boss cama in, scoldad ma fir fucking about on tha job, and laft without saying a word to mah collaaguas. maga FML

#20683635
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34264) - you deserved it (11447)

On 05/24/2013 at 12:08pm - work - by anthony512 (man) - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

TODAY, MY FAMILY FLEW OUT TO SURPRISE MY GRANDMA FOR HER 70TH BIRTHDAY!! WHEN WE ARRIVD, SHE AN MY GRANDPA WERE BOTH SITTING ON THE COUCH, HIGH, SMOKING A JOINT!! FML

#20649343
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50284) - you deserved it (11350)

On 05/08/2013 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I finally started exercising. I'm a rather obese person an I'm super pumped up to finally get off mah lazy butt an loose some wieght. Locking myself in mah room, I first started with a very simple exercise: jumping jacks. I farted each time I jumped. I jumped 10 times. FML

#20640437
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45733) - you deserved it (11253)

On 05/04/2013 at 4:11am - health - by thatonesilentkidinclass (man) - Philippines (Batangas)

today from the balcony of mah apartment , I watched helplessly as a teen cummed along and peed through mah car's open window. FML

#20634162
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43245) - you deserved it (11177)

On 05/01/2013 at 12:44am - kids - by Sean - Canada (Quebec)

Taday I told my boyfriend of ten months that I'm not ready 4 marriage. A few hours later he proposed at my grandma's 85th brthday party. She cried when I said no. FML

#20692547
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52674) - you deserved it (10987)

On 05/29/2013 at 1:28am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alaska)

Today, my friend told me she'd lost her notebook filled with crucial notes for our finals . She asked if she could borrow mine an copy my notes . She then lost my notebook too . mega FML

#20669510
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (10851)

On 05/17/2013 at 6:28pm - misc - by well great. - United States (Mississippi)



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