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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I brought my girlfriend home for the first time to meet my parents. They were having a heated argument because my mom had bought "the wrong toilet paper" and my dad was angry because "she should know that he has a sensitive anus". FML

#20668913
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48000) - you deserved it (3369)

On 05/17/2013 at 11:52am - misc - by Sonofa - Canada (Alberta)

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39680) - you deserved it (3367)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I confronted my boss to find out why I was denied a promotion that she promised to me. Her response? "You should know by now I'm a liar. Not my fault if you believe the things I say." FML

#20680205
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36689) - you deserved it (3347)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:48pm - work - by Snurkles McGee (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I found out that my husband of 12 years has been sleeping with my best friend of even longer for who knows how long. She actually tried to turn it around on me and implied that it was my fault for finding out about it. FML

#20689207
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56160) - you deserved it (3341)

On 05/27/2013 at 12:17pm - love - by wow (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, for the fourth time this week, I witnessed my mother dancing around the house naked. Apparently, she is loosening up her "inner nudist" and isn't planning on stopping any time soon. FML

#20679387
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41523) - you deserved it (3338)

On 05/22/2013 at 6:56am - misc - by stillhave2years - United States

Today, I woke up without my fiancé in bed next to me, but I assumed he'd gone to work early. I went on Facebook to find that he had posted a break-up post to himself from my account and set my status to single. I then found a note with "Sorry" written on it stuck to the kitchen counter. FML

#20663501
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54326) - you deserved it (3334)

On 05/14/2013 at 6:41pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I visited my grandma. Shortly after I arrived, she freaked out after finding a "snake" in her closet. It was a rubber snake that my brother must have put there yesterday as a prank. I picked it up and told her it was fake. She then yelled at me for playing such a disgusting prank on her. FML

#20697100
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39540) - you deserved it (3319)

On 05/31/2013 at 9:54am - misc - by cantwin (man) - Belgium (West-Vlaanderen)

Today, I finally got a phone call from a publisher saying they would publish the book I'd written. I'd gotten loads of rejection letters, so I was so excited. Until I realized it was my dad, feeling sorry for me. FML

#20646182
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42774) - you deserved it (3315)

On 05/06/2013 at 7:43pm - work - by sobasics - United States

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38308) - you deserved it (3295)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, my cousin thought it would be funny to make copies of my house keys and give it to random people on the street. I live alone and work a 12 hour shift daily. FML

#20657611
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51414) - you deserved it (3284)

On 05/12/2013 at 12:09am - misc - by Baikal - Singapore

Today, I went to visit my sister, who lives four hours away from me. I'd only just sat down on their couch when her husband told me I needed to leave so they could have sex. FML

#20666985
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44438) - you deserved it (3265)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:16pm - misc - by earplugsplease (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I berated my five-year-old nephew for peeing on the floor. His mom bitched me out for expecting "a little boy to have perfect aim." That's funny, it looked pretty good when he dropped his pants, looked me in the eyes, and started to piss on my rug. FML

#20675025
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48223) - you deserved it (3264)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:57am - kids - by AuntPeePee - United States

Today, while grieving over the loss of my Grandpa, I called my girlfriend for comfort. After I had cheered up, she said, "Don't worry, he went to Hell anyway." FML

#20679293
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43383) - you deserved it (3262)

On 05/22/2013 at 3:14am - misc - by SadPuppy - United States



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