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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my family and friends decided to throw a surprise party for my 16th birthday. I was so surprised that the shortness of breath triggered a serious asthma attack. FML

#20668366
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41684) - you deserved it (3502)

On 05/17/2013 at 12:35am - misc - by presente13 (woman) - United States

Today, some jackass in an Iron Man mask nailed me in the head with a quarter while I was helping other customers. Minimum wage isn't worth this crap. FML

#20696570
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41423) - you deserved it (3494)

On 05/31/2013 at 12:05am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I was out on a family walk, when I overheard two women talking to each other. One of them was wondering how a kid with such good looking parents and grandparents could be so ugly. That kid is my daughter. FML

Today, I was laid off from my job as a manager. After cleaning out my office, I began clearing my computer. I received an email from HR announcing a job position that opened up. Too bad it was for my job. FML

#20651556
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43558) - you deserved it (3474)

On 05/09/2013 at 3:35am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I fainted. Instead of stopping to help, some guy stopped to draw a penis on my forehead. The EMT laughed. FML

#20692945
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46865) - you deserved it (3467)

On 05/29/2013 at 11:21am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my in-laws came for dinner. My 5-year-old son chose that as the perfect time to say, "Good girls always swallow!" when my daughter coughed up some of her food. I have no idea where he heard it, but my mother-in-law blamed me, and my wife had to convince her not to call CPS on me. FML

#20689805
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46138) - you deserved it (3453)

On 05/27/2013 at 6:15pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I gave a big presentation to my class. It included PowerPoint slides and video clips of the country I'd been researching. Another student did a presentation on the same country, except he just read from its Wikipedia page. He practically got a standing ovation. I got a single clap. FML

#20638884
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44524) - you deserved it (3442)

On 05/03/2013 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized my family is the textbook definition of redneck after listening to my grandpa threaten to smash with an excavator the trailer that my uncle lives in behind our house if he didn't return the set of tires he had stolen and pawned from my grandpa's garage. FML

#20683275
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36761) - you deserved it (3430)

On 05/24/2013 at 3:06am - misc - by redneckfamily - United States (Washington)

Today I returned home after a semester at university. I guess I did too good a job of getting into shape as my parents phoned the police, thinking I was a burglar. FML

#20679356
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39080) - you deserved it (3418)

On 05/22/2013 at 5:44am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, walking by myself, I was caught up in a group of people that got arrested, and we all got fined for creating a public disturbance. When I explained I wasn't with them, the group backed me up. The police thought I was the ringleader, and now I have to go to court. FML

#20639737
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59355) - you deserved it (3410)

On 05/03/2013 at 9:14pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, after being nearly homeless and couch-hopping for the last few months, I finally signed a 1-year lease. When I got home, I was surprised to see a picture of my new complex on the front page of the newspaper. It turns out that they are fighting a serious bedbug infestation. FML

#20633909
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42078) - you deserved it (3398)

On 04/30/2013 at 10:50pm - misc - by creepycrawley247 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because I cancelled our date tonight. I cancelled because I had a seizure and was taken to the hospital. FML

#20654794
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59075) - you deserved it (3389)

On 05/10/2013 at 6:58pm - health - by Chia (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my brother broke his mountain bike, so he stole mine, and managed to break it as well. Then he made some kind of franken-bike out of parts from both, and messed that one up too. FML

#20673285
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41252) - you deserved it (3386)

On 05/19/2013 at 3:56pm - misc - by jfc, how just how (man) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)



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