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May 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I found out that my cell phone bill was much higher than normal. After investigating, I realized that a text conversation I had with my stalker, telling him multiple times not to contact me anymore, was to an international cell phone. I have to pay to be stalked. FML

#20666438
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40404) - you deserved it (5284)

On 05/16/2013 at 12:31am - money - by astalkerindeed (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a mosquito bite on my chest. Due to a severe allergic reaction it has swollen my left breast a cup size. The first thing my boyfriend said was, "Hey look! I can finally see one of them." FML

#20667435
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54072) - you deserved it (5265)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:36pm - intimacy - by Urgghh (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my mum made me take her poodle on a walk, which she'd dressed in a tiara and a pink dog dress. Being a 19-year-old guy, I was pissed. After I got home, I saw that my mom had filmed me from the window and posted it to Facebook, to everyone's great delight. FML

#20695533
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44070) - you deserved it (5261)

On 05/30/2013 at 4:25pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33257) - you deserved it (5253)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I gave a presentation about how teachers don't intervene enough when students are being bullied. Afterwards, I was practically bullied by my teacher for "not choosing a serious topic." FML

#20647729
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45990) - you deserved it (5252)

On 05/07/2013 at 2:14pm - misc - by hopelesscollegechick - United States (Alabama)

Today, I took my girlfriend to a family dinner. Things went great, until my grandma arrived. She thought it would be okay to continue our friendly prank war by congratulating me on my "wife's" pregnancy. My girlfriend actually believed it, and now thinks she's the "other woman". FML

#20667410
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49724) - you deserved it (5251)

On 05/16/2013 at 5:23pm - love - by paging dr. kevorkian (man) - Netherlands

Today, my brother's friend was about to drive home drunk, so I convinced him to think and not be stupid. It wasn't an invitation to puke on my floor then try to crawl into bed with me. FML

#20655778
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40687) - you deserved it (5226)

On 05/11/2013 at 5:52am - misc - by GaveAnInchTakeAMile (woman) - United States

Today, I found out that my wife is having an affair with the same guy my ex-wife left me for. FML

#20645479
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83909) - you deserved it (5188)

On 05/06/2013 at 2:13pm - love - by Anonymous - Ireland (Donegal)

Today, my workplace was issued aprons. I then became the first and only employee in the history of the business to set an apron on fire while using the grill. FML

#20693953
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32059) - you deserved it (5156)

On 05/29/2013 at 8:51pm - work - by CheesyCasey - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went for a walk. When it started pouring, I ran under the nearest tree for protection. It didn't occur to me that it might look suspicious hiding under a stranger's tree in a black hoodie, until the cops showed up. FML

#20673625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36747) - you deserved it (5146)

On 05/19/2013 at 7:07pm - misc - by black hoodie - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, an elderly woman couldn't afford all of her groceries at the checkout so she started to take out a few things. I offered to pay for her groceries; she thanked me and walked out. An onlooker then came up to me and told me that she does it to someone every week. FML

#20692497
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50689) - you deserved it (5145)

On 05/29/2013 at 12:49am - money - by $$$ - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was at dance rehearsal. As a male dancer I like to keep the fact that I dance a secret because of the stupid stereotypes male dancers have. This plan was quickly shot down when I discovered I was performing at my school. FML

#20639678
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (5128)

On 05/03/2013 at 8:39pm - misc - by DeActivated (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I had to explain to my husband why I was assuming that he was planning to attend my graduation ceremonies for my PhD next week. He still doesn't understand why he has to be there, and is pissed that he will miss his weekly pub crawl with his friends. FML

#20666555
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40787) - you deserved it (5107)

On 05/16/2013 at 1:58am - love - by married life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)



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