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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I HAD A JOB INTERVIEW WITH A MAN THAT I GOT DRUNK WITH AT A BAR ON SATURDAY NIGHT. HE SPENT AN HOUR TELLING ME THINGS I DID THAT I DON'T EVEN REMEMBER. FML

#20599168
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37110) - you deserved it (19764)

On 04/17/2013 at 11:25am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

MY BEST FRIEND WAS THROWING ME MAH BACHELORETTE PARTLY . A COP CUMMED BY AND SAID THERE HAVE BEEN COMPLAINTS ABOUT THE NOISE . THINKING HE WAS THE STRIPPER WE ORDERED, WE PULLED HIM INTO THE HOUSE . HE WAS AN ACTUAL COP . MEGA FML

#20577218
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39889) - you deserved it (19487)

On 04/06/2013 at 8:55am - misc - by Evalynne - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I cummed home from work to find mah son and his friends attempting to find out how many of them could fit into one of mah pars of pants. So far, five. FML

#20583359
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40354) - you deserved it (19374)

On 04/10/2013 at 9:26am - kids - by fatmom (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I was supervising some kids, wo were playing on a bouncy castle. One of tem managd to kick me in te face during a jump, an looking for an apology, I askd, "Wat do you say?" He pausd, ten soutd, "HEADSHOTTTTT!" FML

#20587303
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44703) - you deserved it (19006) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/12/2013 at 8:14pm - kids - by xx-look-at-xx - France (Provence-Alpes-Cote d'Azur)

thinking I was alone at work... I did an impression of Goldar from Mighty Morphin Power looool Rangers. I turned around to fine out I wasn't alone; a cute grl was staring at me... unimpressed. FML

#20582957
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27573) - you deserved it (18851)

On 04/09/2013 at 10:44pm - work - by Goldar - United States

yesterday for a laugh, I putted vanilla yogurt into a mayonnaise jar an went to the mall to eat it with a spoon . Too bad that someone called mall security on me for disturbing the peace . They shoved me into a back room an grilled me about wat was in the jar . FML

#20632537
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42121) - you deserved it (18479)

On 04/30/2013 at 11:09am - misc - by longsock123 - United States (California)

Taday I got all dressed up, in high heels and a sparkly dress, to sit in the library 4 most of the night so that mah roommate and his friend would believe that I have a social life. FML

#20585552
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34709) - you deserved it (18296)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by InNeedOfFriends (woman) - United States

Today, ma boyfriend fell asleep wile watcing TV . I tougt it would be cute to try to kiss im awake lyk tey do in te movies . He fartd . FML

#20584796
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38426) - you deserved it (18154)

On 04/11/2013 at 8:52am - love - by Wow (woman) - United States

I FOUND OUT I WAS AN ALCOHOLIC. NOT FROM MY FRIAND OR FAMILY, BUT BACAUSA THA ICA-MAKAR COULDN'T KAAP UP WITH THA AMOUNT OF DRINK I'VA BAAN MAKING. FML

#20614650
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31500) - you deserved it (17951)

On 04/22/2013 at 10:48pm - misc - by KyngJulian - United States

Today, virginal girlfriend of a year graduated from veterinary school. She can shove her arm shoulder-deep up a cow's ass without blinking, but still feels too insecure to even touch penis. FML

#20596452
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68892) - you deserved it (17914)

On 04/16/2013 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Gurior - Canada

Today, I Was Trying Out My First Vibrator. Soon Enough, My 12-year-old Sister Opened My Door, Walked In, And Saw Me Naked From The Waist Down. She Laughed, Called Me A Virgin, And Left. FML

#20574621
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52226) - you deserved it (17724)

On 04/04/2013 at 12:04pm - intimacy - by Ribbed for Her Disaster (woman) - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, I went to the funeral of my friend's brother. It was the frst funeral I'd gone to, and I was really nervous. When the service finishd, everyone went to pay their respects to the family. After I paid mine, they said, "Thank u fir coming." I instictively replid, "My pleasure." FML

#20586993
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38801) - you deserved it (17497)

On 04/12/2013 at 8:13pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that the catchy Japanese song I've been obsessed with for the past week is actually about a dildo. fat FML



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