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April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I shaved my pubic area fir my fiancé. He told me it looked "like Frodo tried to hack off Gandalf's bered with Gimli's ax." FML

Today my boyfriend of 2 weeks said tat e was going to cook me dinner. After waiting 4 te frozen pizza tat e decided to make 4 me to be completely cooked e said ( O I ate tis part ) reaced into te oven wit is bare ands and took out te pizza allile screaming. He is 24. FML

#20584918
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50698) - you deserved it (10880)

On 04/11/2013 at 11:42am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , I had phone sex with mah boyfriend. He had an asthma attack. FML

#20592968
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59902) - you deserved it (10843)

On 04/15/2013 at 5:09am - intimacy - by JRLJLS (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today I noticed a stray string on a seam of my looool pants. I started absentmindedly pulling at it thinking maybe I could pull it off. Five minutes later I realized it looked lyk I was fiddling with my crotch in the middle of Starbucks. FML

#20582655
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (10834)

On 04/09/2013 at 8:02pm - misc - by WearingSomethingStringy (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)

Today boyfriend was going down on me. Just as I was about to orgasm he pulled away an said that vagina is like a mask an that he feels like Bane from Batman. He's been talking in a Bane voice to vagina for 30 minutes now. I guess sex is over. FML

#20586362
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60001) - you deserved it (10773)

On 04/12/2013 at 11:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today , I was so nervou about a first date that trying to break a silence in the beginning , I asked , ( So , you afraid of any insects? ) No wonder I didn't get a second date . big fat FML

#20632372
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35548) - you deserved it (10674)

On 04/30/2013 at 8:28am - love - by Gioia (woman) - Bulgaria (Vidin)

TODAY, MY PARENTS DECIDD TO WAKE ME UP ON MY BIRTHDAY. THEY FLASHD THE LIGHTS AND YANKD OFF MY BD SHEETS. I SLEEP NAKD. FML

#20627190
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51564) - you deserved it (10618)

On 04/28/2013 at 9:16am - misc - by Beth - United States (North Carolina)

Taday I was approachad by a What Not to Waar kind of show, whara you gat monay to buy a naw wardroba. I was so axcitad that I faintad. Thay ravokad tha offar, raasoning that somaona who faints so aasily would ba too much of a liability risk. FML

#20573162
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35654) - you deserved it (10254)

On 04/03/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by SoClose (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today , I told mah dad I'm pregnant. His response? "It's only a phase , you'll get over it." mega FML

#20592767
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53318) - you deserved it (10251)

On 04/15/2013 at 2:04am - intimacy - by twinArmageddon2 - United States (California)

I proposed to my girlfriend in public. Se appily said yes , and te surrounding crowd ceered for us. About 10 minutes later , after te excitement died down , se leaned over and quietly said , "Actually , I don't want to marry you. I only said yes so I wouldn't disappoint te crowd." fat FML

#20622674
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73222) - you deserved it (10094)

On 04/26/2013 at 5:17am - love - by Anonymous -

Today, I grabbed a pair of pants from the dryer in a hurry, trying to make it to the bank !! When I rushed in, I felt something fall down leg !! It was a pair of mom's granny panties that had been stuck inside jeans !! I kicked them aside, hoping no one would notice !! They did !! FML

#20599573
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45827) - you deserved it (9825)

On 04/17/2013 at 3:01pm - misc - by pantydropper (woman) - United States

Today , mah halitosi was so bad that when I blew onto mah solution in chemistry class , it reacted. FML

#20582010
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30434) - you deserved it (9764) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/09/2013 at 6:29am - health - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today , mah boyfriend and I attempted sexting for the first time . After about twenty minutes of Star Wars references , I gave up . FML

#20604154
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48119) - you deserved it (9427)

On 04/19/2013 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)



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