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November 2012

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Today, I was shopping when I overheard a woman telling an employee that she was buying an iPad for her 5-year-old son. Annoyd, I turnd around and rantd about how he should have more age appropriate toys. Then she explaind that her son is autistic and will be using the iPad to communicate. mega FML

#20183504
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8507) - you deserved it (84720)

On 11/29/2012 at 12:29am - misc - by Mimi - United States

Today, the car in front of me in the drop-off area at mah son's school parkd, and the driver got out . I basically leand on mah horn and gave her every dirty look in the book . She said nothing but stard at me as she opend the back of her van to unload her child'sheelchair . I'm an asshole . real FML

#20172167
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8909) - you deserved it (67159)

On 11/21/2012 at 9:03am - kids - by AHole (woman) - United States (North Dakota)

Today, my friends and I went out to dinner. Being short on cash, I suggestd a game where we puttd our phones in the center of the table and first to check their phone had to pay the bill. Our conversation did out, and fereful of having an awkward silence, I checkd my phone. FML

#20160706
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5988) - you deserved it (48942)

On 11/12/2012 at 5:08pm - money - by dgilbs - United States (Michigan)

Today , I took a picture of myself wereing a whipped cream bra with cherry nipples , captioned , "I hope u enjoyed your dinner , now how about some dessert???" I meant to send it to my fiancé. I sent it by mistake to my dad. FML

#20176010
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18504) - you deserved it (44402)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Whipped Cream - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I'm Recovering In The Emergency Room. How Did I Get Here? Intoxicatd At A Cod Party, I Saw A Hole In The Host's Shd And Thought It Funny To Christen It A "glory-hole", Only To Be Bitten By Wat May Well Have Been A Black Widow Spider. Big Fat FML

#20182587
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6416) - you deserved it (43336)

On 11/28/2012 at 1:09pm - health - by Widowmaker - United States (Nevada)

today mah family was celebrating mah grandma's 90th birthday. I pulled a little prank an got candles that keep relighting. After a few blows , mah grandma fainted. FML

#20164153
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9255) - you deserved it (43066)

On 11/15/2012 at 9:54am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was waitrassing fir a huga family. Thair bill was $750. Excitd about tha tip, I was shockd to saa only $0.50. As thay wara laaving, I thraw tha twohola quartar at thair haads. Guassho also got fird today. FML

#20150831
473 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18054) - you deserved it (42351)

On 11/06/2012 at 5:37pm - work - by Misunderstood Waitress (woman) - United States

TODAY, I WOKE UP AN LOOKED OVER TO SEE THE "BEAUTIFUL GIRL" I SLEPT WITH LAST NIGHT. TURNS OUT IT WAS THE OBSESSIVE GIRL FROM MAH CLASS WITH A MAN-FACE I HAD AVOIDED ALL SEMESTER. IN CONCLUSION, BEER GOGGLE ARE VERY REAL AN VERY POWERFUL. FML

#20149916
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11149) - you deserved it (41036)

On 11/06/2012 at 12:15am - intimacy - by coolguy (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, in a state of extreme boredom, I decided to dress mah 6-month-old son in girl's clothes. As he sat in mah lap in a frilly dress, an as I was placing a very pink an lacy bow on his head, mah mother-in-law unexpectedly walked in. She now think I'm mentally unstable an should be in therapy. FML

Today, Muse cancelled their upcoming show in Oslo. I bought mah sold-out tickets on the black market 4 double the retail price, an have no way of getting mah money back. FML

#20184120
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11375) - you deserved it (36846)

On 11/29/2012 at 4:12pm - misc - by faen (man) - Norway (Sogn og Fjordane)

Today , after nearly a year of headache and fuzzy vision , I went to the eye doctor. It turns out I've had mah contact in the wrong eyes fir a year. FML

Today, trying to be kinkyhile giving mah boyfriend a blow job, Ihippd him with mah ponytail!! He was thrilld, until I accidentally head-buttd his dick!! He curld up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again!! FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14287) - you deserved it (32884)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today I took a pregnancy test . When I saw that the result was positive I started crying and showed mah mom . She burst out laughing and told me that I had taken an ovulation test . real FML

#20177960
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8520) - you deserved it (32604)

On 11/25/2012 at 10:08am - health - by I'm stupid - United States (Illinois)



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