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February 2016

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my cellphone-hating teacher called someone during class, so I called him out about it. Turned out his wife was having a tumor removed, and he was calling to see if she was okay. FML

Today, I found out that my university had not accepted the internship I did when I was in college. They placed me in the same bank I interned in, with the same bank manager that I flipped the middle finger at after finishing my internship. FML

#21523525
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9884) - you deserved it (20341)

On 02/06/2016 at 10:36pm - work - by FailingMyCourse - Kuwait (Al Kuwayt)

Today, it's been about 8 months since I moved into my studio flat. It was already furnished, there was no bed but a fancy bedseat from Ikea. I slept uncomfortably on it for months until I realised it pulls out to become a double bed. FML

#21521867
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15348) - you deserved it (10492)

On 02/01/2016 at 6:11pm - misc - by scottishoatmeal - United Kingdom (Perth and Kinross)

Today, I accidentally forwarded a link to a weird fart porn video to my chat group. They've been silent for 30 minutes now. FML

#21523269
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12814) - you deserved it (9799)

On 02/06/2016 at 12:55am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was driving back home when I saw a yellow object flying off my roof of my car through the side mirrors. I thought nothing of it, then I noticed that I didn't have my phone with me. That's when I realized that the "flying yellow object" was my phone. FML

#21521941
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16963) - you deserved it (6248)

On 02/01/2016 at 10:48pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, a long standing fantasy was ruined when the only lasting impression from my first threesome was of how good my boyfriend is at giving other guys a blowjob. FML

#21522994
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17585) - you deserved it (6152)

On 02/05/2016 at 4:55am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I flipped out with happiness over the new Barbies. I want to buy one. I'm almost 26. FML

#21521595
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15941) - you deserved it (5894)

On 01/31/2016 at 10:27pm - misc - by barbieissocute (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the only thing that kept me hard during sex with my wife was thinking about my own naked body. FML

#21523607
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15469) - you deserved it (5328)

On 02/07/2016 at 4:17am - intimacy - by weirdoe (man) - Italy (Sicilia)

Today, I woke up with an extremely irritable rash around my crotch. I didn't want to full out itch it by putting my hands down my pants, so I itched it by putting my hand in my pockets. I got kicked off the train for "pleasuring myself in public." FML

#21521769
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18992) - you deserved it (4717)

On 02/01/2016 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by IsThisRealLife (man) - United Kingdom

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

#21523085
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15221) - you deserved it (4224)

On 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17473) - you deserved it (4152)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, after finding out that my professor likes to talk trash about, and constantly belittle, Muslims in every American History class he teaches, I submitted an essay about Muslim contributions to humanity. He held me back after class and asked why I gave him such filth. I'm a Muslim. FML

#21522430
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24458) - you deserved it (3945)

On 02/03/2016 at 1:14pm - work - by Upset (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my tax filing status was never changed after my divorce. This means I haven't been paying enough and now the government wants its money. FML

#21522112
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19054) - you deserved it (3774)

On 02/02/2016 at 1:48pm - money - by sideeffect001 (man) - United States (Utah)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

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