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August 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. I spent the day sobbing in my bedroom and talking shit about him on Facebook after blocking him. He ended up changing his mind and calling me, asking me to take him back. Now I have to awkwardly explain to everyone that we're back together. FML

#21460859
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8933) - you deserved it (36690)

On 08/26/2015 at 6:25am - love - by chiara (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, after hearing the doctor saying my girlfriend can never be pregnant, I got a bit too excited. I'm currently on the 5th hour of the silent treatment. FML

#21457054
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17109) - you deserved it (35454)

On 08/17/2015 at 4:33am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, the professor I've had a crush on informed me that there's only one way left I could still pass his course. Thinking this was an attempt to flirt with me, I told him I'd do anything he could imagine. He then looked confused when he asked me to write an essay. FML

#21458908
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9823) - you deserved it (29262)

On 08/21/2015 at 3:43pm - misc - by notwhatithought (woman) - Germany (Bayern)

Today, I went to my fiance's cousin's wedding with him. I got drunk and danced like a stripper in front of his entire extended family, who I'd just met that day. FML

#21461344
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9161) - you deserved it (26427)

On 08/27/2015 at 1:44pm - love - by O0hdear - United States (Texas)

Today, I learnt the meaning of the phrase "ménage à trois". I had always thought it was synonymous with "fiasco" and have used it several times in essays. FML

Today, my husband and I locked our keys in the car. Our only spare is in the drawer with all our sex toys. So we either had to get our oldest go in the drawer and get them to bring to us or walk the 12 miles home. My feet will never recover from that walk. FML

#21459919
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15434) - you deserved it (21060)

On 08/24/2015 at 12:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML

#21452034
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (19617)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by just wanted nice nails - United States (Tennessee)

Today, a customer approached me, smiling and asked what kind of cheese was in our cheddar cheese balls. Thinking he was joking, I laughed and said "swiss." He ordered, found they were indeed cheddar cheese, and reported me. FML

Today, I had to explain to my dad how I rear-ended the car in front of me because of a particularly intense banjo solo. FML

#21461958
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10565) - you deserved it (15566)

On 08/29/2015 at 1:09am - misc - by mumfordandsonimdisappointed - United States

Today, I turned in an essay about a book I'd read over the summer. My teacher later called me to her desk and began to gush about how interesting the book sounded and asked to borrow my copy. The book I wrote about is not real, and the main characters are named after my childhood pets. FML

#21458720
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20468) - you deserved it (14471)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:15am - misc - by technicallywroteabook (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, while trying to quit my horrible job at a pizza place, I got so nervous that I accidentally offered to work double my usual hours for another month. FML

#21451712
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20590) - you deserved it (14301)

On 08/04/2015 at 9:31am - work - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a bunch of friends and I went skinny dipping in a pond. The guys all grabbed the ladies' underpants and waved then around. My bloody pad was inside of one of them. FML

#21451285
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26419) - you deserved it (14023)

On 08/03/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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