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May 2015

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I bought an expensive video game and decided to show it off and post a photo of it on Instagram. When I got home to play it, it rejected my activation key. I then realised it was showing in the Instagram post. FML

#21411390
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11359) - you deserved it (39692)

On 05/17/2015 at 9:09am - misc - by PISSED OFF - Australia

Today, I tried to write a bad review for the fast-food place at which I work part-time. My username made me anonymous, but I forgot to change my profile picture. Now my manager and coworkers won't even speak to me. FML

#21405584
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10719) - you deserved it (39576)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:34am - work - by Freelman - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I thought it would be funny to fart next to my brother in the car. Apparently, his carsickness is exacerbated by strong smells. I now know what it feels like to have lap full of vomit. FML

#21406695
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13099) - you deserved it (34586)

On 05/08/2015 at 9:51am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, at a party I got blind drunk and I gave a guy a blowjob for the first time. I'm a 100% heterosexual male. FML

#21406764
295 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18113) - you deserved it (34098)

On 05/08/2015 at 12:59pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - India (Delhi)

Today, I got a text from a guy I hooked up with. I'm not really interested in him, so I rushed out of his house last night. He was letting me know I left my wallet at his house, and if I want it, I'll have to let him take me to dinner. FML

#21405647
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18102) - you deserved it (30910)

On 05/06/2015 at 1:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I got sick of my flatmate stealing my food so I decided to sabotage a leftover pizza with laxatives. I came back home later in the evening after a night of heavy drinking. Guess what I had to eat in my drunken stupor. FML

#21409743
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13909) - you deserved it (29609)

On 05/13/2015 at 10:37pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, after a 2 month relationship, I realized two things: A) Dating a known psycho because "crazy chicks are great in bed" is a dumb idea, and B) What crazy chicks are actually great at is beating the crap out of you and driving you to alcoholism. FML

#21402940
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14147) - you deserved it (28887)

On 05/01/2015 at 3:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I was finishing my chest workout at the gym when this really cute girl started using the machine next to me. To impress her, I tried lifting a lot of weight on the barbell. It ended up landing on my neck and she had to help me get it off. FML

#21411484
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12505) - you deserved it (27931)

On 05/17/2015 at 1:53pm - health - by Idle_Twin - United States (Florida)

Today, not thinking and being pissed off, I threw my phone in the car, making a decent sized crack in the windshield. FML

Today, I was being chased by the cops, not because I'm a criminal but because I thought the SUV with red and blue lights was an ambulance, not a police officer trying to pull me over. I kept weaving out of his way for 5 minutes before I finally figured it out, and got my first ever ticket. FML

Today, after waking up in a panic because I was running late for work again, I realized I was fired for that exact reason the day before. FML

#21404798
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15761) - you deserved it (26802)

On 05/04/2015 at 10:08pm - work - by Jobless in Seattle - United States (Texas)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend by taking his new car to the automatic car wash. As soon as the water started, I realized that I forgot to close the sunroof. FML

#21404700
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14631) - you deserved it (24800)

On 05/04/2015 at 7:08pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, I had a plan. I was going to get up early, eat a well balanced breakfast, put on my workout clothes and enjoy this beautiful day with a fulfilling jog. Instead, I put on my workout clothes, spent hours on social media, ate a pizza and ended up falling asleep on my coach. FML

#21406331
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16479) - you deserved it (24151)

On 05/07/2015 at 5:43pm - money - by NevertheKool (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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