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October 2016

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Today I bought a 50$ voucher card to refill my phone. After I purchased it, I threw the receipt in the dustbin. When I got home, I found out that the 14-digit pin code was on the receipt. I basically threw 57 bucks in the dustbin. FML

by Iris / 10/12/2016 at 9:53am / Canada (Quebec) / Money

Today, I went to a McDonald's drive-thru in just a shirt and underwear, thinking I wouldn't be seeing anyone. I got into a car crash. FML

by pantless / 10/23/2016 at 5:31am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I got my new smartwatch that I ordered for myself on the promise that I would use it for tracking my new exercise routine. Instead, I used it for playing Pong whilst eating cake and drinking wine. FML

by TomorrowMaybe / 10/08/2016 at 12:29pm / Denmark (Sjelland) / Health

Today, while checking my voicemail, I noticed I had received one from a job that I've been trying to get in for months. Too bad they called two weeks ago. FML

by Anonymous / 10/06/2016 at 3:01pm / United States (Florida) / Work

Today, I tried to impress a group of friends by jumping a set of stairs on my skateboard. I didn't realize the ceiling dropped down towards the bottom of the stairs and knocked myself out. FML

by HeadStillHurts / 10/26/2016 at 7:43am / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished a 700-page book for my law exam. It was the wrong book. FML

by Anonymous / 10/23/2016 at 6:12am / Pakistan (Punjab) / Work

Today, I noticed I've been an Amazon Prime member for 2 years and never knew. FML

by storyteller / 10/04/2016 at 12:29pm / United States (Indiana) / Money

Today, I purpose woke up early so that I could be prepared for a class taught by a professor who thinks I'm an idiot. This professor was the first to tell me that I'm 2 hours early and asked very slowly if I know how schedules worked. She seriously sounded concerned. FML

by Ughhhhh / 10/03/2016 at 12:18pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, without thinking, I casually advised my mum that the best way to get the piping nozzle clean is to 'fingerfuck' it. FML

by Anonymous / 10/25/2016 at 4:31am / Intimacy

Today, my class had a very important meeting about workplace safety. I thought I led some of my classmates to the meeting very well, until they informed me that I accidentally ran a red light on the way there. They brought this infraction up during the class every chance they got. FML

by greeter / 10/18/2016 at 2:49am / Canada (New Brunswick) / Work

Today, a coworker asked me how I was because I looked down. I said, "You don't want to know." They replied, "You're right, I don't," and walked off. FML

by makayta / 10/08/2016 at 2:20am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I discovered that you should always check the litter box before vacuuming stray litter outside of it after my cat burst out from the box mid-piss and skittered around the house still pissing after I put the vacuum hose behind the box. FML

by mallyboo / 10/01/2016 at 10:38am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, while working the Sunday rush at the deli, I held up a piece of ham to a blind customer and asked him if it was thick enough. FML

by Anonymous / 10/03/2016 at 10:09am / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy