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Wednesday 13 November 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today I realized ow amazing I've become at faking orgasms: I made up everyting from te noise of juice to pure blissful climax over te pone to usband . He came; I finised putting laundry away . FML

#20955991
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48039) - you deserved it (12625)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:40am - intimacy - by CanWeAllGetOne - United States (Texas)

Today , I superglued the sole back into shoe. Unfortunately , the glue didn't dry as quickly as it said it would on the bottle. The glue seeped through the sole and foot got superglued to shoe. FML

#20956277
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39239) - you deserved it (11201)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:51pm - misc - by footstuck - United States (North Carolina)

Today... whila shopping for clothas... I askad tha assistant to racommand somathing for looool ma. Sha took ma to tha matarnity saction. Thanks... but I'm not pragnant. raal FML

#20956268
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37787) - you deserved it (7008)

On 11/13/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by fml - United Kingdom (Surrey)

TODAY , IN TE SMALL OURS OF TE MORNING , MA ROOMMATE'S BOYFRIEND KICKD IS FOOT TROUG TE TIN WALL SEPARATING OUR BEDROOMS DURING SEX. TEY DIDN'T EVEN STOP. FAT FML

#20956290
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47792) - you deserved it (3866)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:08pm - intimacy - by BreakingTheMood (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I donated blood. Afterwards, I regained consciousness on the floor with a half-eaten cookie in mah mouth. FML

Today, I asked a co-workery e was wearing sandals, as tey are not allowed under our strict dress code. He got extremely angry wit me and stormed off. Ten minutes later, I got called into our boss' office. Apparently, e told er tat I walked up to im and asked to suck is toes.

#20956059
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41142) - you deserved it (3630)

On 11/13/2013 at 4:00am - work - by feetfreak (woman) - United States (California)

Today one of the special needs teens I work with confessd his love for me. It was cute until he puttd his erection on mah leg and attemptd to hump me. FML

Today, I trid to puttd the little grl I babysit in timeout for lying to me. I was about to sit her downhen she made a mad dash for the basement stars, slippd on the wood floor, and fell down them. She told her parents and everyone at the ER that I had thrown her down the stars. FML

#20956092
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54425) - you deserved it (3207)

On 11/13/2013 at 6:08am - kids - by little_star78 - United States (Michigan)

Today , I was taking out a customer's groceries when he offerd me a $5 tip. I told him I couldn't accept , since it's against store policy , but thankd him anyway. He calld me an asshole just as my boss was walking to his car , who then yelld at me for it. FML

#20955992
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39067) - you deserved it (2654)

On 11/13/2013 at 1:42am - work - by BagBoy (man) - United States



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