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Tuesday 16 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I started doing it again. I'd given up fir years, buten I saw te pack I just couldn't elp myself. One taste was enoug to make me finis off teole pack. Nobody knows tat I've fallen off te wagon and I'm so asamed of myself. Today, I began eating my cat's biscuit again. real FML

#20786268
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44406) - you deserved it (32470) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 07/16/2013 at 9:18am - health - by Aliiiice (woman) - France (Haute-Normandie)

Today , I was about to make a left turn . In the turn lane a little old lady was waiting 4 the light to change . On the back of her car was a bumper sticker that said ( Honk if u love Jesus! ) I gave her a honk and waved . She leaned out and yelled , ( The light's red , asshole . ) mega FML

#20786059
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45716) - you deserved it (13580)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:12am - misc - by TNDriver (man) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, mah boyfriend dumped me. His reason was that mah laugh is really annoying and makes him want to "stick a baby in a blender". FML

#20786622
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46012) - you deserved it (9000)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:32pm - love - by ... cheers (woman) - United Kingdom (Renfrewshire)

Today, I discoverd that mah 8-year old is fully toilet traind when a turd fell out of his pants, shortly after introducing him to his new babysitter.

#20787181
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40929) - you deserved it (8484)

On 07/16/2013 at 9:55pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

yesterday mah wife an I were having a fight, when she grabbd mah car keys an threw them over into the nieghbors overgrown junk yard. My car is a restord '59 Belvedere an the keys can't be replacd. I've been looking for hours an I still can't find them. FML

#20786212
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58383) - you deserved it (8222)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:06pm - love - by ronnieG (man) - United States (Georgia)

I baked strawberry muffins 4 family, putting half a strawberry on each of them. Only when it was too late did I realize that they looked like extremely creepy breasts. FML

#20786008
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35559) - you deserved it (6820)

On 07/16/2013 at 8:01am - misc - by muffin (woman) - Austria

Today, I Went To The Grocery Store With My Husband, Only To Fine That His Ex-wife Workd There. Then I Found Out He Never Actually Divorcd Her. FML

#20786957
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59490) - you deserved it (4666)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by me:( - United States (Michigan)

TODAY, MY HUSBAND AN I CAME CLEAN TO HIS OVERBEREING PARENTS ABOUT OUR PRIVATE WEDDING. IT STARTED WITH THEM ACCUSING HIM OF MAKING RASH DECISIONS, AN SOMEHOW DESCENDED INTO AN ARGUMENT AMONGST THEMSELVES THAT ENDED WITH HIS MOM DECIDING TO DIVORCE HIS DAD. FML

#20786569
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49424) - you deserved it (4142)

On 07/16/2013 at 4:00pm - love - by .__. (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today... I was stumbling down the street due to arthritic pain... when I accidentally bumpd into a man. He turnd and yelld... "Watch it... u clumsy... ugly bitch"... to which I apologisd and told him about mah arthritis. He stard at me in confusion... then said... "Well... your still ugly"... and walkd looool off. FML

#20785828
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51848) - you deserved it (3558)

On 07/16/2013 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Taday I told the guy I liked about crush on him. He said he would keep me in mind if he ever hits rock bottom. FML

#20786950
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47627) - you deserved it (3538)

On 07/16/2013 at 7:41pm - love - by hannahisacooler (woman) - United States (California)

Today... as I was about to enter a public restroom... a man walkd out and said... "You may want to hold your nose looool in there. I just took the biggest dump of my life." It was the ladies' restroom. FML

#20785565
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46657) - you deserved it (3114)

On 07/16/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

YESTERDAY I SUDDENLY STARTED HAVING EXCRUCIATING PAIN. MY HUSBAND TOOK ME TO THE ER, WHERE I WAITED 4 THREE HOURS IN AGONY TO BE SEEN. BY THE TIME A DOCTOR GOT TO ME, THE PAIN HAD MOSTLY GONE, BUT IT WAS FOUND TO BE A KIDNEY STONE. I WAS TOLD, "NEXT TIME, DON'T WAIT SO LONG." REALLY? FML

2day grandmother,ho has Alzheimer's, cornered me in the kitchen and called the cops. My crime? Robbery, of own house. FML

#20786208
64 comments


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