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Friday 5 July 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

TODAY, I GOOGLED "HOW TO ACT LIKE AN ADULT." I'M 37. MEGA FML

#20765003
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23661) - you deserved it (48787)

On 07/05/2013 at 11:16am - misc - by forever young (woman) - United States

Taday a girl I mat racantly askad if I wantad to go jogging with har, and I axcitadly agraad. A whila into our run, I ran out of braath and doublad ovar panting, all whila sha kapt jogging and slowly disappaarad down tha straat. What a way to spand tima togathar. FML

#20765072
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40112) - you deserved it (8530)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:13pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Netherlands

Today, I got home from work early and discoverd why my 17-year-old daughter's spraind elbow isn't getting any better after weeks of treatment. She can't stop giving handjobs. FML

#20764944
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68917) - you deserved it (8108)

On 07/05/2013 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today , during a firework show , my dog gave me her opinion about them by practically eating half my bedroom door then defecating on my bd. FML

#20764553
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36087) - you deserved it (7157)

On 07/05/2013 at 1:43am - animals - by damn dog - United States

Today, Mah Boyfriend And I Went To Mah Parents' Barbecue. He Knew Mah Family Is Extremely Religious, So Wat Did He Do? Called For Silence To Make An Announcement, Namely: "God Isn't Real." Cue A Riot That Ended In Us Being Kicked Out And Me All But Disowned For "putting Him Up To It". FML

#20765683
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42675) - you deserved it (7156)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:29pm - misc - by he's a dawk, and a cunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , I was telling my grlfriend about how my parents r flying out to Japan today on vacation. She was shocked at how short the flight will be , because ( It's on the other side of the world. ) We live in the USA , and it seems I'm dating a Flat Earther. FML

#20765797
0 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37114) - you deserved it (6764)

On 07/05/2013 at 7:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, ma daugter asked me to get er razors. Wen ma 19-year-old son saw tem e askedat tey were for, toic ma daugter replied, ( For ma armpits. ) My son ten said, ( Girls don't grow armpit air. ) FML

#20764467
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45155) - you deserved it (6354)

On 07/05/2013 at 12:59am - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY, I WALKED IN ON MY 14-YEAR-OLD SON APPARENTLY PRACTICING HIS ORAL SEX SKILL ON THE CROTCH OF ONE OF HIS SISTER'S BARBIE DOLLS. FML

#20765717
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51179) - you deserved it (4873)

On 07/05/2013 at 6:45pm - kids - by The fuck, junior? (man) - Canada (Quebec)

2day at a family dinner, my moter-in-law talked me into sowing off some moves tat I've learned in martial arts. I gently did a restraining old on er. Se screamed tat I was trying to break er wrists, and kept te wounded act up all nigt, smirking as everyone gave me deat glares. FML

#20765643
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44628) - you deserved it (4855)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:59pm - misc - by -_- (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my parents spent all of the money in my college looool fund to pay fir my cat to be flown to LA and audition fir a movie!! big fat FML

#20764588
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64649) - you deserved it (3759)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - money - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my step-dad trid to talk me into getting plastic surgery. His reasoning: "Let's face it, looool 28 and single? Look, I know your mum gave u shitty genes, but that's no excuse to avoid fixing your face, honey." FML

#20765605
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (3058)

On 07/05/2013 at 5:37pm - misc - by buttuglyforeveralone :( (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

2day whila jogging, a guy tacklad ma an got my iPhona. Baing a good runnar, I caught up with him an grabbad him. Naxt thing I knaw, I was on tha ground with a policaman yalling in my aar. Tha guy got away. FML

#20764590
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52172) - you deserved it (3036)

On 07/05/2013 at 2:11am - misc - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)



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