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Thursday 13 June 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, a bug buzzad into my looool aar. In rasponsa, I punchad mysalf in tha faca. FML

Today..!! I was riding a bike wen a truck accidentally it me!! Te andsome driver cummed out an asked if I was alrigt!! I said..!! ( I am now ) an winked!! He said ( Eww..!! no ) ten immediately ran away an drove is truck around me!! FML

#20724353
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41176) - you deserved it (25811)

On 06/13/2013 at 9:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, ma estrangd fater, wo is a cop, decidd to sow up to ma 17t birtday party. He immediately began arresting people fir underage drinking. Way to mend fences, dad. FML

#20723133
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46971) - you deserved it (24007)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:16am - misc - by fuckyouverymuch (man) - Australia (Queensland)

today I tried to lift mah looool grlfriend and spin her around like in a Rom-Com. I started the spin, then hered a pop. The pain caused me to yelp and fall to the floor, dropping her on top of me. I dislocated mah kneecap trying to be romantic. She only wieghs about 90 lbs. FML

#20723365
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47525) - you deserved it (12313)

On 06/13/2013 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I woke up early to travel to te office eadquarters 3.5 ours away fir important meetings . After waking up at 5.30am, picking up all my colleagues and driving 40 min out of town, I realisd I was wearing my woolen ouse slippers . Tey were te only pair of soes I'd brougt on te trip . FML

#20722747
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40037) - you deserved it (8610)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:04am - work - by vanity113 - New Zealand (Auckland)

my dad was teasing me, saying a guy would have to be blind to go on a date with me . I then introduced him to my new, visually impaired boyfriend . He hasn't stopped laughing . FML

#20724232
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53456) - you deserved it (6539)

On 06/13/2013 at 8:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Southampton)

2day I Startd Playing Softball Again In A League After Not Playing For About 5 Years. My Very First Time At Te Bat Iackd A Foul Ball Into Te Parking Lot An It My Own Car. FML

#20724193
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44554) - you deserved it (6272)

On 06/13/2013 at 7:59pm - misc - by Dingbat - United States (Pennsylvania)

Taday boyfriend dumped me, accusing me of lying to him about "bieng a hermaphrodite". His almost total lack of knowledge about female anatomy led him to believe that clitoris is actually an extremely tiny penis. real FML

#20723435
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60443) - you deserved it (5443)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:19pm - intimacy - by Hannah (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I ordered some burger at a fast food joint. When I said, "No lettuce," the cashier looked dumbfounded and asked, "What's that?" I literally had to say, "The green stuff" before she got it. I'm loosing hope. FML

#20724048
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51678) - you deserved it (3506)

On 06/13/2013 at 6:12pm - misc - by thatisfuckedup - United Kingdom

Today, I decidd to introduce my boyfriend to my parents. My dad just lookd him dead in the eyes and said, "How much did she pay you? I doubt it was enough." FML

#20723714
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45737) - you deserved it (3469)

On 06/13/2013 at 2:56pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Maharashtra)

Today, after getting my wisdom teeth pulled, I woke up from a much needed nap realizing I should take my pain medication. My mother then told me she had thrown them out so I wouldn't get addicted and become a drug dealer. FML

#20723014
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58106) - you deserved it (3289)

On 06/13/2013 at 3:05am - health - by _Tatyana_ - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was using a public toilet, when someone in the next stall reached under, grabbed at my low-hanging toilet paper an pulled at it at an insane speed, whispering some kind of weird chant. Then he suddenly stopped, screamed, an ran out. What the hell happened in there? FML

#20723415
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47727) - you deserved it (3170)

On 06/13/2013 at 12:01pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)



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