Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Monday 29 April 2013

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was taking a dump in the bathroom . The lights turned off and I was too embarrassed to come out of the stall . The janitor walked in, turned the lights on and asked If anyone was there . I stayed quiet . He turned the lights back off and locked me in the bathroom . FML

#20630741
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17281) - you deserved it (58346)

On 04/29/2013 at 5:11pm - misc - by random - Canada

Today , I confessed to cheating to my girlfriend. She decided to go up to the girl an ask her about it. The girl denied it an said she looool didn't even know me. My girlfriend walked up to me , called me a liar an punched me in the face. FML

#20629579
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24265) - you deserved it (57918)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:26am - love - by bad day Brutus (man) - United States

TODAY..!! I WENT TO HAVE A BREAST EXAM!! THE DOC TOLD ME THAT SHE WOULD TOUCH DIFFERENT PARTS OF BREASTS..!! AND SAID TO TELL HER IF AT ANY POINT IT FELT PAINFUL!! AS SHE WAS EXAMINING ME..!! I WAS GOING TO SAY THAT IT WASN'T PAINFUL..!! BUT INSTEAD I BLURTED OUT..!! ( IT FEELS GOOD!! ) FML

#20630276
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47890) - you deserved it (12097)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:51pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today... I was getting into the mood with my boyfriend. Ten minutes into it... I told him to "teach me a lesson." His response: "I ain't no teacher." FML

#20629715
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46305) - you deserved it (11693)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:08am - intimacy - by unforgettablee (woman) - United States (California)

Today I had a job interview at the local donut shop. It turns out I misunderstood the position and that the job was actually to wear a donut costume and wave at cars outside the shop. I was told this after I got hired. FML

#20630021
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39861) - you deserved it (8476)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:39am - work - by sdeeter (man) - United States

TODAY, I MET ONE OF MA FAVORITE WEB-COMIC ARTISTS. AS I PURCASED A SRT FROM TERE BOOT E ASKED, "WAT SIZE?" I STUPIDLY ASKED "HOW BIG IS A SMALL?" HE CUCKLED, "IT'S SMALL" AND CUCKLED SOME MORE. SO MUC FOR KEEPING IT COOL. FML

#20631829
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32764) - you deserved it (7055)

On 04/29/2013 at 11:32pm - misc - by stupidquestionsstupidpeople - United States (Illinois)

Today, mah former fiancée, who I stopped seieng 5 months ago, married another guy . She wore the dress that I'd purchased 4 our would-be wedding . FML

#20630309
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56750) - you deserved it (5243)

On 04/29/2013 at 1:07pm - love - by Good Luck Chuck (man) - United States (Florida)

Today , a family of geese nested outside my halls of residence. They have started attacking everyone who tries to get in or out of the building. I'm basically bieng placed under house arrest by birds. FML

#20630234
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43407) - you deserved it (3704)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I had a big party plannd. All but one of the guests cancelld. See u at 7, mom. FML

#20630222
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46298) - you deserved it (3650)

On 04/29/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands

Today, my fiancéa broka off our angagamant. For soma bizarra raason, sa'd iddan a pair of axpansiva boots and ar iPad undarnaat our rida-on mowar. I turnd ta mowar on and dastroyd bot witout raalizing it. According to ar, ta fault is all mina. FML

#20630400
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51896) - you deserved it (3544)

On 04/29/2013 at 2:07pm - love - by Wow. Really? - United States (Ohio)

Today, my parent finally got married. At the after-party, my mother got drunk and informed me that even though she and my father were now married, it doesn't change the fact that I'm still a bastard. mega FML

#20631493
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43954) - you deserved it (3360)

On 04/29/2013 at 9:57pm - kids - by SierraCheyenne (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my dog became scared of is own food bowl. He now barks 4 ages every time e sees it. FML

#20629727
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37461) - you deserved it (3129)

On 04/29/2013 at 3:20am - animals - by conbon123 - United States (Oregon)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: