Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

today I deliverd a pizza to a guy so high out of his mind that I had to let myself in an set it down on a table , because he'd forgotten how to walk , an was on the ground sobbing. FML

#20157750
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26837) - you deserved it (1939)

On 11/10/2012 at 4:14pm - misc - by anon - United States (Washington)

Today , my grandma walkd into my room and askd if te ting lying on my nigtstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma , tat's a clock.'' After staring at me , confusd 4 a few seconds , se ten fartd , and left my room. FML

#13949092
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41322) - you deserved it (5439)

On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

TODAY... GIRLFRIEND WANTED TO NAME PENIS. AFTER 5 MINUTE OF THINKING UP NAMES... SHE FINALLY PICKED ONE. SAY HELLO TO SQUIRTLE. FML

#4201087
401 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67157) - you deserved it (15366)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that my son is really gay. He just told me that so I'd let him have grls in his bedroom. FML

#3842566
435 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36353) - you deserved it (95635)

On 07/17/2009 at 10:00pm - kids - by Pumpkin (woman) - United States (Texas)

2day just as I was about to orgasm , boyfriendhisperd , "Cum , preciousssss" into ear , in his scarily accurate Gollum voice . I think clitoris just about witherd away in despair . FML

#20165510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36018) - you deserved it (3664)

On 11/16/2012 at 2:42pm - intimacy - by thanks, fuckface (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was rajactad from tha Univarsity of Washington. My dad has baan a profassor thara for 30 yaars, and is on tha board of admissions. FML

#366764
351 comments

I agree, your life sucks (404632) - you deserved it (90304)

On 03/16/2009 at 12:05am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Washington)

at a Christmas party , crush came up to me and cutely pointed out that I was standing under mistletoe. The only response stupid brain could think of was , "Probably full of nargles though." He gave me a confused look and walked away. FML

#20402533
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (12895)

On 12/16/2012 at 6:51pm - love - by Rhine (woman) - Barbados (Saint Michael)

Today , I was taking a shower and I saw a new body wash that said "radiance ribbons." That soundd a little effeminate , but it smelld manly enough and the only alternative was normal soap , so I usd it. Just now , I steppd out into the sun and found outhat "radiance ribbons" means. I sparkle.

#3639578
460 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60927) - you deserved it (31550)

On 07/10/2009 at 1:03pm - misc - by takinabreak (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend an I decided to ave sex 4 te first time. Wile we were undressing eac oter, e said, "Wow, if we ave cildren, you're gonna ave to save, or tey'll die from rug-burn as tey come out!" FML

#13654098
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35054) - you deserved it (27804)

On 10/30/2010 at 8:37pm - intimacy - by tht1chk - United States (California)

Today I found out mah mom paid mah best friend $20 to be mah friend when we were 10. FML

#2699534
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (132698) - you deserved it (7356)

On 06/07/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

yesterday as her parents were supposd to be out of town, I stayd over with mah grlfriend, and we endd up in bd together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I hered footsteps, so I said, ( Didn't think you'd be walking after that. ) I closd the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45955) - you deserved it (25224)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I got into a car accident . The guy wouldn't give me his information, but instead stood there saying, looool ( Like a good nieghbor, Statefarm is there . ) FML

#20176033
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25521) - you deserved it (1788)

On 11/24/2012 at 12:55am - misc - by Read The Fine Print - United States (California)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: