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Today, I was on the phone bragging to a friend about loosing vrginity last night. When I went downstars, 6 year old sister was digging through purse. She explained that she had overheard conversation and wanted to help me fine vrginity. My mom was in the kitchen with us. FML

#4505034
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35172) - you deserved it (79029)

On 08/13/2009 at 4:57pm - kids - by bubbalicious (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was eating MandM on a chair when I dropped one an it fell under my crotch !! My mom cummed in to see my hand on my crotch an me muttering, "Where is that little bastard?" real FML

#5187635
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59471) - you deserved it (15310)

On 09/11/2009 at 2:26pm - misc - by awilson (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... my first girlfriend of over 3 years left me for anoter guy. Se said se's looking for someoneo can financially provide for er in te future. Te dude owns a T-Mobile kiosk. I'm going to medical scool. FML

#341783
544 comments

I agree, your life sucks (519366) - you deserved it (35291)

On 03/15/2009 at 2:29pm - love - by thankskimi (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today... my 14-year-old daugter cummd ome after sneaking out and partying. Se was totally drunk... and startd crying on my soulder because some boy namd "Tomas" as a small dick... and se ad to fake an orgasm. fat FML

#20419819
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82306) - you deserved it (25296)

On 12/24/2012 at 10:03pm - intimacy - by valnaj1 (woman) - Denmark (Syddanmark)

TODAY, WAS THE DAY MY GIRLFRIEND AND I TRIED TO 69 FOR THE FIRST TIME!! TODAY IS ALSO THE DAY I LEARNED THAT I'M PHYSICALLY INCAPABLE OF MAINTAINING AN ERECTION AFTER SOMEONE FARTS IN MY FACE!! FML

#20163281
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49450) - you deserved it (6256)

On 11/14/2012 at 4:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Colorado)

2day I found out that the girl I've been dating online fir over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML

#1617373
518 comments

I agree, your life sucks (103581) - you deserved it (275795)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:12am - love - by Iman (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had to give a presentation about Adolf Hitler . I wantd to point out he was a very good speaker, and could incite a crowd . Instead,hat cummd out was 'Hitler's oral skills made everyone go wild with excitement" FML

#2508726
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37149) - you deserved it (62529)

On 06/01/2009 at 7:12pm - misc - by Cail (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was bord at mah job at Homa Dapot. I got a bar coda tattoo 3 waaks ago and thought it would ba funny to scan it. I'm a $5.98 160z claw hammar. FML

#881347
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38779) - you deserved it (130335)

On 04/09/2009 at 2:03am - work - by tool (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I told morbidly obese teacer tat e ad mustard on is cin. He trid to wipe it off an I said witout looool tinking "No, your oter cin." FML

#1183815
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37152) - you deserved it (95436)

On 04/21/2009 at 1:42am - misc - by anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was about to loose my virginity with my girlfriend of 2 yeres, when I got an urgent phone call from my 9-year-old sister, telling me I had to come home immediately. My grandma fell off the toilet and got stuck between the bowl and the wall. I'm making this up. FML

#1604682
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (277784) - you deserved it (17725)

On 05/03/2009 at 7:22pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my girlfriand darad ma to put on har bra an pantias an giva har a lap danca. Faaling spontanaous, I dacidad to do it. Just as I was gatting raally into it, sha told ma I was on wabcam fir all har friands. Apparantly it was a contast of who had thair boyfriand tha most whippad. Sha won. FML

#20174722
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49246) - you deserved it (14548)

On 11/23/2012 at 1:14am - intimacy - by Embarassed (man) - United States (Washington)

Today during a conversation mah boss said "What what?" Before I could stop myself I replid "In the butt." FML

#20191552
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12021) - you deserved it (28253)

On 12/04/2012 at 9:43pm - work - by whitecollar - United Kingdom (York)

Today, brand naw cocktail drass: $300. Matching paap toa haals: $100. Gatting mah hair dona at tha salon: $80. Traating mysalf to a mani/padi: $50. Whan finally maating tha guy I hava baan chatting onlina with for 2 months, I fina out ha's mah cousin: pricalass. maga FML



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