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Today, I dragged myself to work, suffering from a bad cold. My boss quietly told me to go home and rest, to avoid spreading it around the office. I thought it odd since he dislikes me so much, but I did as he said. He called later in the day to suspend me for leaving work early. FML

#20823652
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50633) - you deserved it (3186)

On 08/06/2013 at 10:44am - work - by Nick (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I found out that even though my boyfriend thinks that peeing on me in the shower is acceptable, he will still freak out and call me disgusting if I try to use the toilet while he's taking a shower. FML

#20801125
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52188) - you deserved it (5925)

On 07/24/2013 at 12:36pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alaska)

Today, I have an orthodontist's appointment, and I told my best friend that I was going to get my teeth fixed. She replied, "Wow, thanks. Your smile's really awful to have to look at." FML

#20825319
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41431) - you deserved it (3957)

On 08/07/2013 at 10:26am - misc - by Bethany - United States

Today, my teacher told the class that we had better like the people at our table because we would all be working together for the final group assessment. Everyone looked at me, stood up, and moved. FML

#20834922
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45398) - you deserved it (7458)

On 08/13/2013 at 2:36am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was pretending to be a ballerina. I was dancing around my room, making a complete dick of myself. I eventually caught sight of a pair of guys grinning and filming me with their cellphones through my window. FML

#20811460
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40063) - you deserved it (13213)

On 07/30/2013 at 12:42pm - misc - by kiwichick4life (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I called to confirm the appointment that I made over six months ago at the tattoo studio. Turns out my particular artist "doesn't work Tuesdays" and that they also miraculously have no record of my appointment, nor the cash deposit I had to put down. FML

Today, I won a year's supply of bath bombs in a competition. I live in a tiny flat by myself with only a shower. I also have to find somewhere to put the bath bombs. FML

#20836641
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36336) - you deserved it (5725)

On 08/14/2013 at 3:13am - misc - by KnowWhereYourTowelIs (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my grandma told everyone at our party to stay away from me, saying, "Ya might catch obesity from her and become fatass porkers too." I complained to my dad, at which point my gran faked being inebriated. My dad rolled his eyes and said, "She's DRUNK, honey. Chill out." FML

#20815079
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44876) - you deserved it (5297)

On 08/01/2013 at 10:46am - misc - by fuckoffgran (woman) - Ireland

Today, I actually had to explain to two of my friends that neither Alaska nor Nebraska are in Canada. I think I need new friends. FML

#20827400
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42452) - you deserved it (4994)

On 08/08/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by ROBERT (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was in the restroom at work, snickering at some funny stories on my phone while I took a dump. Little did I know that the asshole in the next stall would report me to our boss, claiming he'd heard weird noises, then looked over the divider and witnessed me jacking off to porn. FML

#20829508
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42943) - you deserved it (6829)

On 08/09/2013 at 6:17pm - work - by fired (man) -

Today, my fiancé asked for money to bail his brother out of jail, the same brother who happily spent a whole day recently trying to convince my fiancé that I've been cheating on him with my own cousin. So I said no. He shook his head in disgust and said that I'm "unbelievably spiteful". FML

#20827009
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40508) - you deserved it (5106)

On 08/08/2013 at 9:13am - misc - by go choke on a gonad (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my sister, who knows I'm severely afraid of heights, got me tickets to sky dive for my birthday. When I reminded her of my fear, she stated that she forgot and should just keep them for herself and her boyfriend. My mom agreed. FML

#20875635
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44786) - you deserved it (3636)

On 09/10/2013 at 10:56am - money - by PartTimePrincess (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that the girl I've been seeing for 6 months is actually married. She just dates me when her husband is pissing her off. FML

#20857254
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46711) - you deserved it (3489)

On 08/27/2013 at 11:11pm - love - by the other man - United States (Arkansas)



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