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Today, after ten years, our sewing machine broke. My mom tried to return it back to the store she bought it from. FML

#21115731
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37841) - you deserved it (3681)

On 04/17/2014 at 7:24pm - money - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. My date took one look at me and said pityingly, "Stuffed your bra, didn't ya? Seriously, why even bother?" The douche then started trying to lecture me on "false advertising". FML

#21124319
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43949) - you deserved it (7530)

On 04/27/2014 at 1:05pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my landlord started showing my apartment, where I have lived and paid rent for over 2 years, to prospective tenants. I didn't realize that I was moving. FML

#21120676
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42524) - you deserved it (3082)

On 04/23/2014 at 8:43am - misc - by Almost_Homeless - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend told me he wanted to drive to India. Thinking he meant Indiana, I said sure, knowing I have friends there. He said, "Bangladesh, India, here we come!" He was serious. FML

#21128139
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37288) - you deserved it (6671)

On 05/01/2014 at 5:29pm - misc - by GAGirl1 (woman) - United States

Today, I was feeling really depressed and ended up asking my mom why guys aren't interested in me. She replied with a laundry list of reasons, including, "Hair. Boobs. Face. Everything." FML

#21117292
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41679) - you deserved it (5064)

On 04/19/2014 at 4:12pm - love - by snore - Mexico (Distrito Federal)

Today, I found out that even though my girlfriend of 3 years believes sex before marriage or even me just jacking off is a big no, doing online strip-shows for money is a big yes for her. Both times that I've proposed, she claimed she isn't "ready" for marriage. FML

#21118108
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45586) - you deserved it (8921)

On 04/20/2014 at 1:58pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

Today, I was out drinking with some colleagues, when one started ranting about some pretty sensitive subjects. There were some Latino guys nearby, and as soon as he said "I'm not racist, but..." I tried to casually get the hell out of there. We all got the crap beaten out of us anyway. FML

#21122958
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39997) - you deserved it (6362)

On 04/25/2014 at 7:45pm - health - by fuck you, Jeff (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, the only thing I got for my birthday was my boyfriend's offer to give me "the gift of anal". FML

#21127339
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39592) - you deserved it (4987)

On 04/30/2014 at 5:51pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, my two year old puked in the backseat of the car. When we stopped to clean her up, she scooped up the vomit by the handful and threw it at my head. I had an almost two hour drive before I could wash the smell off myself. FML

#21143663
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43083) - you deserved it (4910)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:51am - kids - by WolfieJL (woman) - United States

Today, I was at my retail job and we had to change the mannequin's outfit. I had to hold her while my manager grabbed the new outfit. I rested my head on her naked plastic chest, and it was the closest I've got to affection in years. FML

#21138983
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43121) - you deserved it (6737)

On 05/13/2014 at 7:42pm - work - by imaginationdarling (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, my girlfriend decided that we won't be having any more sex until I beat her ridiculously high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21141738
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54568) - you deserved it (7660)

On 05/16/2014 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by (not) fucked - United States (Texas)

Today, a lady handed me a $10 tip on a $45 bill. I was happy with it, since it was more than 20%, until she came back in and said, "I'm sorry I gave you the wrong amount." I handed it back to her and then she gave me a dollar. FML

#21138539
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47011) - you deserved it (4468)

On 05/13/2014 at 9:58am - money - by monkey2069 (man) - United States (Illinois)



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