Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, my husband confessed that when he's angry with me, he uses my makeup sponge to apply his hemorrhoid cream. FML

#21336401
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34091) - you deserved it (3927)

On 01/13/2015 at 12:42pm - love - by Maiar (woman) - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36702) - you deserved it (3191)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41914) - you deserved it (8701)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while taking out the trash, I swung the bag back and forth, which caused it to slide across my leg. An opened aluminum can inside the bag ended up slicing through my calf, causing heavy bleeding. Baked beans sent me to the hospital. FML

Today, my dad and I got into an argument, and he ended up calling me a son of a bitch. My mom heard and started arguing with him over him calling her a bitch. Three hours later, I'm now staying at my gran's house with my mom and hoping her threats of a divorce weren't for real. FML

#21241796
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41540) - you deserved it (3169)

On 08/20/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by sonofaneuroticwench (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, after having sex with my boyfriend, we were cuddling when he grabbed his penis and made it say, "That was amazing! Thank you for the sex." He's 21 years old. FML

#21330918
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (6119)

On 01/04/2015 at 9:50pm - love - by myboyfriendisweird - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was shopping for a new deodorant, and this guy was standing in the way. He wouldn't move, so I crouched down to get the one I wanted, right when he did the most violent fart right in my face. Then his wife came over, made a face and he whispered, "I think that girl just farted". FML

#21290313
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35566) - you deserved it (3153)

On 11/02/2014 at 6:28am - health - by smellyhair - United Kingdom

Today, I did my first night of open-mic standup. The first 5 minutes went badly, but I don't know if it got any better afterwards, because a drunk audience member climbed up on stage and knocked me out. FML

#21341383
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29402) - you deserved it (3669)

On 01/21/2015 at 12:34am - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my date ditched me and showed up with another guy at the same restaurant. She even tried to take the reservation. FML

#21263789
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35800) - you deserved it (2232)

On 09/23/2014 at 12:30pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, at the beach, I noticed a plastic bag in the water. I wanted to do something good for a change, help protect the environment and get it out. It wasn't a bag; it was a jellyfish. FML

#21236316
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39445) - you deserved it (8429) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/13/2014 at 12:28am - animals - by Muwz - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the past few days, there is a musical box stuck somewhere in my attic that randomly plays Christmas songs. FML

Today, I went to a coworker's wedding. Instead of getting to celebrate their marriage, we spent most of the service being lectured by the priest on how women are a freak by-product of "God's masterpiece design" and are the cause of all the world's problems. FML

#21233096
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36112) - you deserved it (3100)

On 08/09/2014 at 4:56am - misc - by Anonymous - Malawi

Today, my boss flipped me off in traffic on my way to work. FML

#21303116
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29809) - you deserved it (3542)

On 11/21/2014 at 1:11am - work - by TJ AJ RJ / IV the V - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: