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Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

by getting real crafty.. / 07/05/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend gave me serious shit because I couldn't name 10 Pokémon. He said he even considered dumping me. Glad to know he has his priorities straight. FML

by KatzVKatz / 07/24/2015 at 5:51pm / Slovenia (Novo mesto Urban Commune) / Love

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm 65 years old, and I've been given a bottle of wine produced in the year I was born. The wine tastes foul; not a good omen. FML

by Phil / 12/21/2008 at 7:14am / Miscellaneous

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

by uninspired / 01/28/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was riding in a carpool when we passed a church that has a shady reputation. I said "man, all those people are being brainwashed, it's a cult". The lady sitting in the back seat behind me says "I'm a member of that church". OOPS. Silence. FML

by pop_rox / 01/30/2009 at 9:07am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

by Jobless / 03/12/2009 at 5:01am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work

Today, I went to my cousin's communion. We came late and walked to the front of the church where my family was. Everyone stared and laughed but I ignored it. After the service was done my mom came up to me and pulled a long piece of toilet paper out of my skirt. FML

by skjjj / 04/26/2009 at 3:15pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I finished making an awesome costume for a Halloween party my crush was attending. I then checked the invite and found out the party was last night. FML

by Missedtheboat / 10/30/2009 at 7:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was pulled over and was given a $300 ticket for going 90mph on a 70mph highway. The cop swore he saw my silver car darting in and out of traffic. A couple of minutes earlier that exact car had passed me while I was following the speed limit. FML

by wrongcar / 11/03/2009 at 1:00pm / United States (Kansas) / Transportation

Today, my 4 year old daughter was ripping out photos of the family photo book, I asked her why she was doing it she answered, "I saw mummy doing it to another book." The only other family photo book was the day we got married. FML

by Michael / 01/04/2010 at 3:50am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, after pulling an all-nighter for my Bio final at 8AM and drinking 6 sodas, 3 energy drinks, and coffee throughout the night, an hour into the exam, I had to go to the restroom, so I get permission and go. I'm 1 of 3 people. They later find a cheat sheet in the restroom. Now I'm a suspect. FML

by fuckbio / 12/12/2009 at 12:00am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I stepped out of a bar in order to make a phone call. While I was outside, the bouncers arrived and ropes were put up. They wouldn't let me back in, claiming I was too young and they hadn't seen me come out. I was celebrating my 26th birthday, the legal drinking age is 18. I also have a beard. FML

by BabyBeardy / 12/10/2009 at 6:05pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, while at work I went to use the public restroom because I had a severe case of diarrhea. All went well until the timed sensor lights went off and I couldn't leave my stall to get them back on. I sat there for thirty minutes in pure darkness. FML

by Bathroom Problems / 01/02/2010 at 2:24pm / France / Work