Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, we had a surprise party for my boss. Someone turned out all the lights. I was so scared of the dark, the first thing my boss saw when he walked in was all my co-workers watching me scream, "TURN IT ON!" FML

#21083937
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33627) - you deserved it (15383)

On 03/11/2014 at 11:47am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend and I went to a restaurant so I could apply for a job, and we decided to eat there. After we finished, I went to start the car. When we got home, I asked him how much the bill came to. Apparently he didn't pay. I had already given them my completed application. FML

#21079338
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42994) - you deserved it (6706)

On 03/06/2014 at 12:52am - money - by TheyHaveMyAddress - United States (Michigan)

Today, my clingy girlfriend refused to leave me alone long enough for me to read an article about dealing with clingy girlfriends. FML

#21095315
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41355) - you deserved it (5962)

On 03/24/2014 at 4:28pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend made me sit in his kitchen while he Skyped his mother because he doesn't "feel ready" to tell her he has a girlfriend. He's 23, lives on a different continent and has been dating me for over 6 months. FML

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16942) - you deserved it (64371)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to wave my arms like a maniac as I sat on the toilet at work, otherwise the faulty motion sensor/timer would turn the lights off after about ten seconds. I've had to do this for several days now. No one else has reported this problem, so management won't get it fixed. FML

#21089760
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34527) - you deserved it (3984)

On 03/18/2014 at 4:10am - work - by aziraphaleelle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking around my college campus when someone asked me if I had gotten separated from my tour group. He didn't believe me when I said I was a student there. This happens all the time. FML

#21095673
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36263) - you deserved it (3332)

On 03/24/2014 at 11:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, while we were having sex, my boyfriend asked me, "Who's your daddy?" I actually started thinking about my father. Total buzzkill. FML

Today, I faced my social anxiety and went to a chip shop on my own. I tried to have a conversation with the owner, but his thick accent made it difficult. He now knows where I live, what college I go to and I'm pretty sure I agreed to go to India with him. FML

#21096939
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37845) - you deserved it (7629)

On 03/26/2014 at 2:06pm - misc - by sociallyawkward (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, at a family gathering, it emerged that my now ex-fiancé has been sleeping with his brother's girlfriend for some time now. A fight broke out, the police were called, and more than one of his relatives are blaming me for him cheating with her. FML

#21093499
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39131) - you deserved it (3205)

On 03/22/2014 at 1:31pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, while working at Dairy Queen, a customer asked me what was so special about our ice cream cakes, and how they're different from regular cakes. I chuckled, and told her it's because they're made from ice cream. She threw a fit, which resulted in me being written up and sent home early. FML

#21096589
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38343) - you deserved it (5700)

On 03/25/2014 at 11:53pm - work - by Coryj1220 - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of pee all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML

#21105380
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38013) - you deserved it (5793)

On 04/05/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to show a new student around my school. Normally, that wouldn't be such a bad thing, but the student was my crazy, overly-attached ex. I transferred schools to get away from her in the first place. FML

#21108356
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43047) - you deserved it (3253)

On 04/09/2014 at 8:37am - misc - by not_this_shit_again (man) - Singapore



FML's blog

  • FML's badges: pointless but essential!
  • If you're a regular on FML, it probably means that you're a member. Whatcha mean you're not a member? Right, for a start, run along and create yourself an account. Doing so will allow you to comment on…

Monday 23 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: