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Today, my boyfriend decided to show off one of his favorite skills: Peeing on my ceiling. FML

by TooShortToCleanThat / 03/19/2015 at 11:22pm / United States / Love

Today, my boss insisted I go in front of him up the stairs. Out of respect, I insisted he go first. After a few seconds of back and forth insisting, he went. The reason he wanted me to go first was because he had to fart. I inhaled the raunchy gas for over three flights of stairs. FML

by Boss Troubles / 03/17/2015 at 2:12am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I went to see my ill granddad in hospital. I saw lots of doctors around his bed, and they pronounced him dead, so I ran out crying. A little later, I found out that my granddad had been moved, and it was a different man in his bed. FML

by Ravhi Karia / 04/03/2015 at 9:41am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Health

Today, my mother was trying to have yet another "helpful" conversation about how to fix my anxiety. My sister's insightful comment? "I think your problem is that you need to get laid." My mom agreed with her. FML

by sexandanxiety / 04/29/2015 at 8:46pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy

Today, after 5 years in a row of my family doing absolutely nothing to even acknowledge my birthday, I got train tickets to see my boyfriend for the weekend and celebrate with him. I woke up to 6 angry texts about how I'm 'selfish' for not staying at home with my family. FML

by happy21sttome / 06/15/2015 at 9:39am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

by poorlyparented / 06/16/2015 at 8:05am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my mother found out about the psychology exam I have to take tomorrow. Before leaving for her vacation this morning, she grabbed the internet router and took it with her to "get rid of distractions". I have one day to figure out how to access this online exam without Internet. FML

by getting real crafty.. / 07/05/2015 at 11:51am / United States (Maine) / Miscellaneous

Today, I couldn't take home the free weights I'd planned on buying to start bodybuilding 'cos I couldn't lift the box, which was too heavy for me. FML

by Fred / 01/06/2009 at 3:28am / Miscellaneous

Today, my cheater of an ex-boyfriend sent me one of his many messages proclaiming his new-found love for me, and in the middle of it asked me how my period was going. FML

by uninspired / 01/28/2009 at 6:47am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, I was getting off of work, talking to my boss and I asked if I could get a ride home, since my usual ride was too lazy to come get me. He said, sure, but to be really careful since he just had his car detailed. I was getting in the car, tripped and threw my hot cocoa all inside of his car. FML

by Leo_RxXx / 05/26/2009 at 8:18am / United States (Mississippi) / Transportation

Today, I went to take a shit and found my boss shaving in the toilet. While in the cubicle, he asked me about my work and the conversation lasted 15 mins. I stayed in there even though I finished shitting after 5 mins, during which 3 people heard my progress report while shitting next to me. FML

by yuen / 06/16/2009 at 10:59am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, I told my mom I want to try out for American Idol. She responded with, "You don't take disappointment well." FML

by abbyleigh08 / 02/17/2009 at 2:01am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boss wanted to promote me to a managerial position. I declined the position saying I don't think I'm ready and experienced enough for that role. I was then fired instead for not accepting the promotion. I was fired for being honest. FML

by Jobless / 03/12/2009 at 5:01am / Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur) / Work