Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, my manager made everyone put up Christmas decorations around the store. As well as this, we're going to have Christmas music playing on repeat all the way through to January. It's not even September yet. FML

by Anonymous / 08/28/2014 at 6:39pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, while my orthodontist was working on my teeth, she made the comment, "Wow! It looks like a murder scene in there!" FML

by Gee... Thanks / 09/02/2014 at 9:35pm / Health

Today, while walking to work, I found out what it feels like to be hit in the face by a rolled up newspaper thrown from the window of a moving car by a paper boy doing his rounds. It hit hard enough to give me a black eye. FML

by newswithabitofbite / 08/28/2014 at 6:31am / Australia (Victoria) / Work

Today, my mom got genuinely angry at me because I refused to let her pop a zit that I had "promised" she could pop a few days back. She said with utmost look of disappointment that I'm "not a man of my word". FML

Today, I watched my co-worker throw the mother of all temper tantrums. He's a radio personality, and just learned that he's not famous enough to use the "Don't you know who I am?" line to get out of a traffic ticket. FML

by Radio GaGa / 10/27/2014 at 12:25pm / Canada / Work

Today, I got a new roommate. I thought he was pretty cool until he mentioned how everything around us was a conspiracy. Then he asked if I knew how to make a bomb. FML

by NoToBombs / 11/07/2014 at 10:51am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my mom is doing a study and is keeping used pads in the freezer. FML

by PPP / 11/13/2014 at 10:39pm / United States (Illinois) / Money

Today, my mom finally got a Netflix account after months of me begging. When I asked her what the login was, she refused to give it to me. She said, "Netflix will know it's not me and then they'll cancel our account." FML

by idkgiraffes / 12/27/2014 at 10:57pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I asked my grandpa why he spoils me so much. He told me it's because he truly believes no one else will ever want to. FML

by bxjxj / 12/22/2014 at 1:40pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I got a letter from my long time boyfriend asking me to meet him at the place we first met for a "surprise". I can't remember where that even is. FML

by lunab123 / 12/31/2014 at 3:59pm / United States (Maryland) / Love

Today, I experienced the horror of walking in on my best friend fondling his tits. Yes, "his". FML

by barf / 02/06/2015 at 6:00pm / Ireland / Miscellaneous

Today, I decided to have cereal for breakfast. I poured the cereal in the bowl, added the milk and had a spoonful. Then I realized that my cereal was moving in the back of my mouth. FML

by Eddy / 03/13/2015 at 11:27pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

by ihatecoldfeet / 03/29/2015 at 4:54am / United States (Montana) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.