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Today, an old guy phoned the cops on my daughter because she was drawing with chalk on the sidewalk. Apparently, he thinks it's vandalism. FML

#21125786
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45893) - you deserved it (3574)

On 04/28/2014 at 10:39pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent an hour explaining to a college student how you could have a baby and not be married. He still doesn't get it. FML

#21131094
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41144) - you deserved it (4155)

On 05/05/2014 at 1:07am - misc - by melmel (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I overheard someone at the mall telling his friend, "So I'm going in for a brain scan." Trying to be funny, I piped up, "Better hope they find something!" Turns out that had been the end of his sentence, and the scan is to see if his cancer has spread. FML

#21134153
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17308) - you deserved it (70066)

On 05/08/2014 at 3:52pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my husband and I announced at a family get-together that I'm pregnant with our fourth child. My dad sighed, and spent the rest of the evening acting moody and eventually muttering about how he'd raised a "damned brood mare." FML

#21144074
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39309) - you deserved it (9361)

On 05/18/2014 at 3:14pm - misc - by Anonyname (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I finally had a date, my first one in well over a year. Everything was going good, until my date asked, "Do you like cats or dogs better?" When I responded cats, my date promptly got up and left, saying, "This isn't meant to be." FML

#21147101
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48188) - you deserved it (11800)

On 05/21/2014 at 7:05am - love - by Alone - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my leg. My dad helped me to the car so he could drive me to the hospital, but when he saw our neighbor, he went over and had a 15 minute screaming match with him over how his dog keeps shitting on our lawn, all while I sat in the car in agony. FML

#21165275
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49976) - you deserved it (4072)

On 06/06/2014 at 7:09pm - health - by wo-ow (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to inform a patient that she has an STD. She reacted by kicking me in the nuts. FML

#21140637
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50980) - you deserved it (4568)

On 05/15/2014 at 1:08pm - health - by bruised_scrotum - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my brother tried to give my dog a walk by attaching an RC helicopter to the leash and following him while flying it. He broke the RC helicopter which cost 300 dollars, and we had to search for the dog for 3 hours. FML

#21147533
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41641) - you deserved it (8439)

On 05/21/2014 at 5:38pm - kids - by Ace - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I deliberately didn't tell my therapist half of what I was going through because I didn't want to depress her. FML

#21153742
109 comments

Today, I ran into my girlfriend by chance while out shopping. She looked different than usual. Maybe it was the wedding ring she was wearing, or how she had her arm around another gentleman, gee, I don't know. That's two years of my life wasted. FML

#21168433
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65266) - you deserved it (5285)

On 06/09/2014 at 5:03pm - love - by wrecked (man) - United States

Today, a customer told me, "Girls your size can't bend at the waist." I couldn't stop laughing at the imagery long enough to be really offended. FML

#21161933
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35080) - you deserved it (5143)

On 06/03/2014 at 6:02pm - work - by jennythezebra (woman) - United Kingdom (Croydon)

Today, I learned that my daughter was looking for love in all the wrong places, specifically the county jail. FML



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