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Today, in order to try and get over my slight fear of swans, I went down to the local park to feed them. One decided that I looked tastier than the bread I was throwing and chased me around the feeding area while everybody laughed. FML

#20875531
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39054) - you deserved it (5757)

On 09/10/2013 at 7:36am - animals - by Evil_Angel_90 (woman) - Australia

Today, my mother came over to my apartment for a surprise visit. It wasn't until after she left that I realized that I left a half empty bottle of adult toy cleaner on the counter in the bathroom. FML

Today, while chatting with a friend online, I told her that Kristen Stewart isn't going to star in the 50 Shades movie as she originally thought. She then spammed me with so many "NO"/"NO WAY" messages that my crappy laptop froze up, forcing me to reboot and lose a ton of unsaved essay notes. FML

#20879898
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40054) - you deserved it (11043)

On 09/13/2013 at 5:31pm - misc - by CHEERS, TUMBLTARD (woman) -

Today, at a family party, my uncles were complimenting my mom on her pies. I cooked them. She took all the credit. FML

#20883979
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40105) - you deserved it (3122)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:03pm - misc - by zachadams - United States (New York)

Today, my partner walked in the room wearing a sweater from my wardrobe, making jokes about it and saying how ugly it was. That sweater was the last thing my father wore before he passed away. FML

Today, while sorting through my clothes, I found one of my ex's old sweaters. After a lot of thought and difficulty, I threw it out. I felt empowered, until my father later rifled through my trash and claimed the sweater for himself. FML

#20890169
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38652) - you deserved it (3488)

On 09/21/2013 at 1:28pm - love - by gemtas5 (woman) - Sweden (Skane Lan)

Today, my sister and her two-year-old came to my place for a visit. Not long after arriving, my niece ripped off her diaper and immediately took a dump on my white carpet. Guess who had to 'suddenly' leave afterwards, leaving me to clean up the mess. FML

#20892017
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39997) - you deserved it (2695)

On 09/22/2013 at 8:08pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I joked with my boss about calling in sick to work tomorrow with food poisoning to avoid taking the Sunday shift. Tonight, I'm sitting on the toilet bowl in agonizing pain with combination diarrhea and vomiting. My shift starts in 3 hours. FML

#20890943
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37725) - you deserved it (9961)

On 09/22/2013 at 12:26am - work - by not_fakingit - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my smartphone addiction reached a new level of pathetic when I checked my weather app to see if it was cloudy outside. There was a window right behind me. FML

#20887801
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16043) - you deserved it (36470)

On 09/19/2013 at 2:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my wife made me go with her to dinner with her parents, despite their long-standing hatred of me. Later on, my mother-in-law muttered to me, "I made yours special for ya", smirked, then made a show of scratching at her butt-crack. FML

#20899435
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36628) - you deserved it (2514)

On 09/28/2013 at 5:01pm - misc - by ouharguohargssdf (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, we had to give a surprise speech in speech class on two of our best and closest friends. My first friend was my mom. I had to make up the other one. FML

#20926629
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43560) - you deserved it (4889)

On 10/19/2013 at 5:57pm - misc - by nofriends - United States

Today, I found tiny little maggots in the bristles of my toothbrush. I have no idea how long they've been there. FML

Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML

#20918430
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39923) - you deserved it (23728)

On 10/13/2013 at 1:23am - money - by hungry (man) - United States



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