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Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43820) - you deserved it (2541)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33548) - you deserved it (5219)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40083) - you deserved it (5623)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32725) - you deserved it (2636)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30524) - you deserved it (2162)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, my boss threw a pre-Christmas party at work. He always uses them to rant at us and tell us to be better employees. When the speech began, the alarm I have set for my daily birth control went off. It's the sound of an obnoxious screaming child. FML

#21316246
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28016) - you deserved it (6817)

On 12/12/2014 at 2:52pm - work - by driven_crazy (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35912) - you deserved it (3019)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44200) - you deserved it (2753)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

#21325704
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28672) - you deserved it (7174)

On 12/28/2014 at 4:07am - kids - by angryman -

Today, I discovered that my fiancé consistently thinks about his fear of breaking his penis while we have sex. He's afraid to have sex with me. FML

#21366308
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30574) - you deserved it (2550)

On 03/02/2015 at 12:14am - intimacy - by dickofbrokendreams - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31184) - you deserved it (15458)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, after months of job hunting, I finally got a phone call. They were impressed with me. That's when my son decided to throw a tantrum asking for food. After some silence, the caller told me they were looking for someone who wasn't juggling little kids at home and hung up. My son is 20. FML

#21377225
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33078) - you deserved it (5053)

On 03/18/2015 at 5:26pm - kids - by Stressed Mother (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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