Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, my boss made me cover for him by working two extra hours, because he had to rush home early to deal with an "emergency". The emergency was taking a shit, because he claims to have a phobia of doing them anywhere but at home. FML

#20967954
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39451) - you deserved it (3623)

On 11/23/2013 at 1:33pm - work - by AFSDALK:AFSDQWE (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40040) - you deserved it (7226)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, as I tried to get out of bed, I got my foot tangled in my sheets. I reached out to my dresser to avoid falling flat on my face. I didn't fall, but I did manage to smash my fingers in the drawer while still trapped in the sheets. FML

#21072281
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39196) - you deserved it (4687)

On 02/26/2014 at 3:55pm - misc - by IVOaf (woman) - United States

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22495) - you deserved it (40195)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43263) - you deserved it (3316)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36547) - you deserved it (4120)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my parents, my aunt and her husband went out to dinner. There, my aunt told us that she was pregnant, and out of instinct, I asked her who the father is. FML

#21387788
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26766) - you deserved it (15815)

On 04/04/2015 at 11:06pm - kids - by TKPhai - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39646) - you deserved it (5987)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, my husband fell asleep while cuddling. I didn't want to wake him, so I lay there for ages, trying to fall asleep. Just as I finally dozed off, my leg uncontrollably jerked and hit him in the nuts. He's convinced I did it deliberately as revenge for an argument we had 5 days ago. FML

#21355326
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29371) - you deserved it (3303)

On 02/13/2015 at 12:33pm - misc - by Innocence (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, a coworker jokingly noted that my signature looks like "Pedo". I couldn't see it that way, so I asked some other people for their opinion. They confessed they'd always thought it looked like "Pedo", but never said anything. My name is Peele. I've been signing it off as Pedo for 10 years. FML

#21381199
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28451) - you deserved it (3559)

On 03/25/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by peele - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, I was watching porn, and ended up bawling because the girl in the video looked like my ex. FML

#21399752
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33496) - you deserved it (10199)

On 04/26/2015 at 12:05am - intimacy - by montanadinosaur (man) - United States (Florida)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: