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Today, I told my boyfriend about how I was a test tube baby. He looked at me with confusion before asking, "But if scientists made you, surely you'd be really attractive and talented and stuff?" FML

#21272259
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38481) - you deserved it (4185)

On 10/06/2014 at 7:47pm - misc - by thanks babe - United Kingdom (Shropshire)

Today, I was eating a hot fudge sundae and I complained that the fudge was at the very bottom and I couldn't reach it with my spoon. My husband muttered "Fat girl problems." FML

#21260102
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37894) - you deserved it (11257)

On 09/17/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, a guy in my class was talking about himself. He started his story with, "When I was little, I was a ginger." I replied without thinking, "Is that why you got put up for adoption?" Him being adopted was the actual story he wanted to tell. FML

#21246134
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20160) - you deserved it (95)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Kansas)

Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML

#21355983
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31063) - you deserved it (2090)

On 02/14/2015 at 2:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I found out how whipped I am when, at the climax of sex, I moaned, "I'm sorry!" FML

#21337152
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26681) - you deserved it (6144)

On 01/14/2015 at 6:57pm - intimacy - by imsorry (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34661) - you deserved it (2161)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, while running an event, my belt loop got caught in those metal whorls that outdoor chairs have. I couldn't get it undone and had to greet guests by standing up and bringing the chair with me, hanging from my ass. My coworker finally had to cut the belt loop to set me free. FML

#21266851
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28635) - you deserved it (3784)

On 09/28/2014 at 7:40am - work - by Abbynyc - United States (New York)

Today, while my husband and I were having sex, my cat decided to join in on our moans by crying at the door the entire time. He stopped as soon as we finished. FML

Today, my new friend tried to introduce me to "American Culture," as I am new to the city. He explained what a hamburger is and how it differs from the Asian food I was used to eating. I moved from Seattle and have worked at Burger King. FML

#21317624
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33426) - you deserved it (2659)

On 12/14/2014 at 10:30pm - misc - by AsianSensation (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I asked my dad to give me a haircut. After 20 minutes of "fuck"s and "shit"s, he gave up and just shaved my head bald. I pull off the look so badly that two people I don't even know have already told me I look like a psychopath. FML

#21245833
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35156) - you deserved it (5930)

On 08/26/2014 at 3:12pm - misc - by alanh69 (man) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realized the sweet, sensitive girl I was talking to on a dating site was actually my brother trolling me for fun. FML

#21266998
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40086) - you deserved it (5623)

On 09/28/2014 at 1:12pm - love - by jquaw - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I learned that the house I've been living in and paying rent for the past two months was never advertised as vacant. I learned this when the actual homeowners walked in, and called the police for an "intruder." FML

#21291174
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (3020)

On 11/03/2014 at 10:54am - money - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Bath and North East Somerset)

Today, I took my boyfriend to a family dinner. Not an hour later, I walked in on my sister giving him a handjob in her room. And what's worse, my first reaction was just to wonder why he'd bother cheating on me for just a handjob. FML

#21358057
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38927) - you deserved it (3085)

On 02/17/2015 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

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