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Today, I got home from a week-long vacation with my friend's family. When I got back home, I found the garage door had been completely demolished. My uncontrollably drunk dad blamed me. I don't even drive. FML

#20782183
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (2571)

On 07/14/2013 at 1:51pm - misc - by nice one - United States (Tennessee)

Today, the water went out at my house, so I resorted to taking some stuff and showering at my old dorm instead. While in the shower, I realized I'd stupidly forgotten to bring a towel with me. I had to spend ages drying my whole body with tiny paper towels instead. FML

Today, I met a great guy at the bar, and we went back to my place. He left before I woke up, leaving a badly-scrawled note saying, "Gone to work, call me!" I couldn't make out the number. FML

#20996904
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39229) - you deserved it (7119)

On 12/18/2013 at 12:01pm - love - by whereismyprince? - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I've been forced to start packing to go on a vacation with my parents, because they say I've been studying too hard and need a break. I've hardly studied at all and was planning on making up for it all in the time I had left before finals. I'm screwed. FML

#21069416
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22088) - you deserved it (39486)

On 02/23/2014 at 2:00pm - misc - by goodbye cruel world (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after months of busting our asses and working round the clock on our latest project, I and the whole office just got bad news: when our boss promised extremely generous bonuses for doing all this, he was point-blank lying, and intended to take credit for our work all along. FML

#21110549
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40627) - you deserved it (3134)

On 04/11/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend gave me my first ever orgasm. Then he bitched me out for insulting his intelligence, saying it was "blatantly fake" and that "women don't orgasm like that". FML

#21334061
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34019) - you deserved it (2760)

On 01/09/2015 at 6:09pm - intimacy - by good2know (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, all day, in a huge blizzard, I've been stuck with a very nice, but very ugly, toothless and rather large and somewhat smelly woman, who has been continuously saying, "It feels like we're dating. Doesn't it feel like we're dating?" Ugh. No, no it doesn't. And please don't kill me. FML

#21344628
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25462) - you deserved it (2698)

On 01/26/2015 at 5:19pm - misc - by Yellow an (man) - United States

Today, I thought it'd be fun to kick open one of those unisex bathrooms in my workplace. I'm not sure who was more surprised, me or my boss who was in there taking a dump. FML

#21315499
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14492) - you deserved it (36558)

On 12/11/2014 at 8:26am - work - by unlucky (woman) - Hong Kong

Today, I landed my first job as a security officer. Only after I signed all the paperwork did I find out that the area I'll be working is apparently a hotspot for violent shootings. I'm screwed. FML

#21244497
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39021) - you deserved it (5909)

On 08/24/2014 at 4:03pm - work - by fucked - United States (California)

Today, after emptying the dishwasher, I noticed something in the back by the drain. It looked like a turkey bone. Upon closer inspection, it was a mouse carcass. I have no idea how many loads of dishes have gone through with it in there. FML

#21283044
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35861) - you deserved it (4073)

On 10/22/2014 at 10:47am - animals - by MouserMan - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend bought us plane tickets to Mexico for our "Honeymoon". This would be nice if he had proposed and if we'd been dating for longer than 2 weeks. FML

#21297437
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (3281)

On 11/12/2014 at 12:21am - love - by anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I threw up on a police officer who was trying to do a random breath test. I wasn't drunk or hungover. I'm pregnant and suffering morning sickness. FML

#21356993
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34729) - you deserved it (2338)

On 02/15/2015 at 10:25pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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