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Today, I was giving my friend sex advice when she asked me when was the last time for me. Not only did I lie but I realized that it was in November and the time before that was June. I have had sex less times this year than she has this week. FML

#1688369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52738) - you deserved it (11668)

On 05/06/2009 at 11:07am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was sleeping when my roommate walked in and asked me: "So...when are you leaving?" She had decided to throw a party in our apartment. I wasn't invited. FML

#79632
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42527) - you deserved it (2500)

On 02/19/2009 at 4:41pm - misc - by sen (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I flew home from college to see my parents. Later I found the expensive painting and hand-made necklace I mailed to my mom for mother's day while taking out the trash. FML

#1877583
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60736) - you deserved it (3011)

On 05/12/2009 at 4:58pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to my best friend's birthday party. After about 15 minutes, I noticed a girl, possibly one of his sisters friends, wearing the same shirt as me. I am a 23 year old bloke. She didn't look a day over 14. FML

#2205796
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36366) - you deserved it (9421)

On 05/23/2009 at 6:53am - misc - by bluewinter (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my boyfriend didn't come home from a night of drinking with the boys again, so I told him that I was packing my things and I wouldn't be here when he came home. After all my things were packed, I realized he drove my car to the bar. FML

#4651685
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40911) - you deserved it (8656)

On 08/19/2009 at 8:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, when I got to work, I found out that I was being laid off. Two hours later, I found out my boss had my name on the wrong list. I was elated. I went to lunch, and on the way back was rear ended in the rain. I was an hour and a half late getting back to work. I was fired upon returning. FML

#5568321
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40791) - you deserved it (3009)

On 09/30/2009 at 5:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I got stuck in a blizzard. My mother never picked me up like she was supposed to, and wasn't answering her phone. After walking around for a half hour, freezing, I finally found her. Where was she? Sitting in Pizza Hut, having a great time. FML

#7019728
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29692) - you deserved it (2219)

On 12/29/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by kenzieeeee (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open its stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML

#6192023
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30402) - you deserved it (10252)

On 11/07/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her birthday is tomorrow so she sent her new boyfriend to pick up her birthday present. FML

#6591482
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34686) - you deserved it (2667)

On 12/03/2009 at 10:11pm - love - by holla1787 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I decided I was going to do something nice for my parents for Christmas. So, I cleaned the entire house top to bottom, baked cookies, and made them both Christmas cards. What did I get in return? They asked me to wrap my four year old sister's presents, and let me know I got nothing. FML

#6927228
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29979) - you deserved it (2561)

On 12/24/2009 at 7:37pm - misc - by blkchkrm (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was asked by my mom if I could have a joint-birthday party with her dog because it would be the dog's "big 1-0." She was completely serious. FML

#6822450
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26638) - you deserved it (2548)

On 12/19/2009 at 1:20am - animals - by dog_day (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I broke my toe. My mom didn't think it was necessary to take me to hospital, opting to give me some painkillers instead. They were so strong that I fell asleep for an hour during my exam. FML

#15933616
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31724) - you deserved it (3905)

On 04/26/2011 at 12:00pm - health - by BigToe (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my friend and I offered a hot girl a lift home from campus. I was sitting in the passenger seat and she climbed in behind me. As I adjusted my seat forward to give her more leg room, my friend pulled off - slamming my seat back into her legs. FML

#13300541
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26326) - you deserved it (4091)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:23am - misc - by tukkies (man) - South Africa (Gauteng)



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