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Today, I enlisted in the military. My dad now finds it necessary to act like a drill sergeant. This includes yelling at me everywhere we go to prepare me for basic training. Training begins in four months. FML

#20830066
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41777) - you deserved it (6310)

On 08/10/2013 at 12:41am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, at work, I felt a sudden, all-too-familiar pain in my stomach. I ran for the restroom, but before I could get there, I shat myself. I had to limp the rest of the way, then beg my boss to let me go home. He said no and told me to get back to work. FML

#20817380
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50437) - you deserved it (5074)

On 08/02/2013 at 5:34pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, I was feeling down because I always think that I'm overweight. My boyfriend tried to prove me wrong by lifting me up. I threw his back out. FML

#20823726
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46812) - you deserved it (9226)

On 08/06/2013 at 12:01pm - health - by GirlfriendsAreBadForYourBack - United States (New York)

Today, while in the restroom washing my hands, a girl decided to let one rip while in the stall. When she came out she gave me a dirty look of disgust and said, "At least wait until I leave." She and I were the only ones in the restroom. FML

#20841231
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45427) - you deserved it (3049)

On 08/17/2013 at 1:11am - misc - by mugres22 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I are on camping vacation. On my way out of the tent, I stepped in a pile of shit. When I told him, he said, "Oh, I couldn't make it to the bathroom last night." The bathroom was a minute walk from our tent. FML

Today, my drunk mom kicked me out of my own birthday party, calling me a "party-pooper" and saying I was killing everyone's buzz. FML

#20843210
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39459) - you deserved it (3899)

On 08/18/2013 at 2:22pm - misc - by 12345678910 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was told that my son has Twitter and Facebook accounts that he uses to try to bully people online, some of which are celebrities. He does it really badly, though. FML

#20837780
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38158) - you deserved it (6761)

On 08/14/2013 at 10:02pm - misc - by ShitStirringSon (man) - United States (California)

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

#20851161
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41798) - you deserved it (2718)

On 08/23/2013 at 5:58pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico

Today, I bid on an item on eBay, only to find the exact item I wanted later while out in the city. I bought it, assuming I would be outbid, as always. Nope. FML

Today, I was told that I looked like a Kardashian by a total stranger. Flattered, I asked which one. His response? "I don't know, the ugly one." FML

#20848594
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41307) - you deserved it (5307)

On 08/21/2013 at 11:00pm - misc - by theuglyone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML

#20856532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35614) - you deserved it (18670)

On 08/27/2013 at 2:13pm - health - by anditburnsburnsburns - United States (Virginia)

Today, I received an email from my professor asking me not to jump ahead on assignments as it makes the other students look bad. FML

#20864021
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42742) - you deserved it (6936)

On 09/02/2013 at 1:14am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42250) - you deserved it (3654)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India



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