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Today, the highlight of my day was when I figured out that my little brother's toy dump truck could actually dump stuff out. I'm 18. FML

#21048030
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36411) - you deserved it (7186)

On 02/02/2014 at 11:13am - misc - by LarissaT18 (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after nearly a month, I found out my wife isn't pregnant after all. She was just screwing around to win a bet with her friends on how long it'd take me to figure out the truth. FML

#21077978
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48110) - you deserved it (4475)

On 03/04/2014 at 4:06pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Norway (Akershus)

Today, my wife tried to report our neighbor's yard sale to the Better Business Bureau. FML

#21057520
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38148) - you deserved it (4530)

On 02/11/2014 at 8:37pm - money - by dumbwifehappylife (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I took my girlfriend out to a vegetarian-friendly restaurant. She ordered shrimp fettuccine, and I asked why. She slowly explained to me that vegetarians can eat shrimp, then muttered that she now knows who has the brains in our relationship. FML

#21057323
241 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46654) - you deserved it (6089)

On 02/11/2014 at 4:50pm - love - by not even getting any of her shrimp (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I burned my right boob. I got it by eating a hot pocket and accidentally spilling the extremely hot filling. I never thought I'd get laid before. This has just confirmed it. FML

Today, I told my professor that I'll be missing class next week due to upcoming surgery. I asked if I could take the exam that I'd otherwise miss another day. He said no, and that I'd just have to take a failing grade, then wished me luck with the surgery. FML

#21053454
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51047) - you deserved it (3793)

On 02/07/2014 at 3:30pm - health - by ... - United States (Illinois)

Today, I wanted to pretend to have a seizure so my baby sister could know when to call 911. When I fell down and started to pretend, she decided to drink my soda instead of helping me. FML

#21071750
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38201) - you deserved it (14962)

On 02/25/2014 at 10:50pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was throwing rocks into a pond while our class was on a field trip. The teacher started to pass around an old rare civil war bullet. As the bullet got to me, I threw another rock in the river, only to notice a rock in my hand and the bullet gone. FML

#21062817
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22233) - you deserved it (56675)

On 02/16/2014 at 9:29pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I met my boyfriend's adoptive family. There was his mom and several brothers, one of whom tried to hit on me. They tried to convince my boyfriend to break up with me, and his mom told me I'll probably get knocked up by the brother who hit on me. FML

#21074608
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45929) - you deserved it (3722)

On 03/01/2014 at 1:09am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, with a single misstep, I managed to send myself and several others tumbling down a stairwell at work. An ambulance ended up having to be called for one lady. FML

#21067848
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37973) - you deserved it (4626)

On 02/21/2014 at 7:20pm - work - by ashamedklutz (man) - United Kingdom (Fife)

Today, my sister finished a project about something she hates. Me. FML

#21069691
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (3593)

On 02/23/2014 at 7:34pm - misc - by ninaaaa - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, after waking up, I walk into the kitchen to see my two-year-old with a blue sharpie in hand as he says, "Look mom, color!" He left no appliance or cabinet untouched in his coloring masterpiece, and I'm still trying to figure out where he got the sharpie from. FML

Today, I broke up with my boyfriend. I was sad, but the only thing my mom could say was, "You should have waited until I got him to mow the lawn." FML

#21083870
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39063) - you deserved it (5782)

On 03/11/2014 at 9:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel



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