Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

#13492524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24905) - you deserved it (3019)

On 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by kitty (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I used the restrooms at the shopping mall. The cleaning lady stepped in after me, immediately turned around and very demonstratively started spraying air freshener. FML

#14320804
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23442) - you deserved it (6367)

On 12/24/2010 at 5:52am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, I have a cold and need to blow my nose all the time. The problem is that every time I blow my nose, I get a nosebleed. When I breathe through my mouth, I have a coughing fit. So I have to choose between not breathing, coughing up mucus or blowing blood. FML

#14625013
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (2913)

On 01/18/2011 at 9:37am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

#16809591
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30116) - you deserved it (5749)

On 06/23/2011 at 12:47am - misc - by Username - United States (Iowa)

Today, I realised that what I had thought was my dad's default state for the past 17 years is actually his drunken state. FML

#15844310
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30526) - you deserved it (3262)

On 04/19/2011 at 5:50am - misc - by Violet (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, a customer came into the music shop I work in to look at guitars. After calling the customer "Dude," and "Man," numerous times, they stalked off suddenly. When I asked if everything was okay, they responded with, "I'm female, you asshole!" FML

#10044709
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12938) - you deserved it (41541)

On 04/21/2010 at 4:29pm - work - by Z88 - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

#18492727
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15305) - you deserved it (27516)

On 12/12/2011 at 6:36am - misc - by firemansam - United Kingdom (Kent)

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

#19615153
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21680) - you deserved it (2829)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:28am - health - by whatevershit - United States (Alabama)

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

#20687417
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40008) - you deserved it (4172)

On 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm - health - by ewwww (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

#20743228
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35928) - you deserved it (27887)

On 06/23/2013 at 7:48pm - misc - by maggie2014 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that my grandma has pictures of all her grandchildren all over her house, with one glaring exception: me. FML

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." 5ML

#21038006
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42430) - you deserved it (3852)

On 01/24/2014 at 7:36am - love - by MH - Norway (Rogaland)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: