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Today, I got home to find my truck smashed by a fallen old tree. I was going to have the tree removed next week. FML

by Username / 06/23/2011 at 12:47am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, I had my first hockey game after being out with a shoulder injury. I ended up cracking my tail bone. FML

by Paul Williams / 06/24/2011 at 3:17pm / United States / Health

Today, I tried to politely explain to my mother that I'm allergic to her laundry soap. She just called me crazy. I have been scratching for three days straight and my skin is almost all red. She refuses to buy anything else. FML

by izzy54149 / 10/25/2011 at 8:02pm / United States (Maryland) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was out selling Christmas-themed calendars for charity door-to-door. I rang a doorbell and a wild-eyed man appeared at the door, shouted about being "on nights" and that I'd woken him up, called me a "bell end", threw a newspaper at me and slammed the door in my face. FML

by firemansam / 12/12/2011 at 6:36am / United Kingdom (Kent) / Miscellaneous

Today, on my first day of a new factory job, I discovered that my new boss had lied to me about my hours. I found this out when my coworkers burst out laughing when I mentioned having the weekends off, and talking about my recreational plans. FML

by Anonymous / 04/21/2012 at 10:22pm / United States / Work

Today, it was my wedding day. The best part was when we were taking photos and I threw up on my dress. At least the pictures were outside. FML

by whatevershit / 05/13/2012 at 2:28am / United States (Alabama) / Health

Today, I took my driver's test. I was confident and thought everything would go well. My boss ended up calling me several times during the test. Turns out my colleague never showed up to cover for me, and my boss blamed me. Not only did I fail my test, I'm now suspended from work too. FML

by Anonymous / 12/13/2012 at 12:04pm / United Kingdom (Bromley) / Work

Today, I found out where the mysterious bites on my back keep coming from. It's not every day you find an earwig in your loofah. FML

by ewwww / 05/26/2013 at 1:55pm / United States (Illinois) / Health

Today, I fell asleep listening to my music and tanning at the beach. Not only did I wake up with a sunburn, but my iPhone had been stolen. FML

by maggie2014 / 06/23/2013 at 7:48pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was on the bus, heading to work, when the girl beside me started yelling at me, claiming I was staring down her shirt. I did no such thing, but the driver nonetheless stopped the bus and made me get off, all under the withering glares of the other passengers. FML

by ricky the sage / 10/04/2013 at 8:04pm / United Kingdom (Coventry) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mom took a picture of me. All she could say about the picture was, "At least your sister is pretty." FML

by MH / 01/24/2014 at 7:36am / Norway (Rogaland) / Love

Today, feeling magnanimous, I decided to help a frail-looking old lady across a busy street. She managed to "accidentally" hit me in the balls with her cane no fewer than three times before we reached the other side. FML

by undineA / 02/18/2014 at 3:16pm / Greece (Thessaloniki) / Miscellaneous

Today, an angry customer threw her sticky toffee pudding at the wall and pointed out that because it didn't stick, it was not really a "sticky" toffee pudding, and that she'd been mislead. FML

by stickyservice / 04/25/2014 at 9:21pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Work