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Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34318) - you deserved it (3096)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, while working at McDonald's, a woman returned to the drive thru because her fries weren't hot enough. She was so angry about coming back that she threw her cold fries at me through the window and told me to "choke on them." FML

#21252828
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38264) - you deserved it (6573)

On 09/06/2014 at 2:11am - work - by fastfoodslave (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was trying to fix a broken desk fan. I'd taken the guard off and was trying to unscrew the blades, when my roommate decided it'd be funny to plug it in. The blades sliced into my thumb. I need stitches, and he still thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21245038
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39388) - you deserved it (3912)

On 08/25/2014 at 12:17pm - health - by sharkgirl4 - United States (California)

Today, I had to babysit my 7-year-old niece while my brother bought Christmas presents. After he left, she walked up to me and said in a very dark voice, "I'm gonna make you hate children!" Now my apartment looks like a bomb site. FML

#21316125
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29700) - you deserved it (2671)

On 12/12/2014 at 10:15am - kids - by Che_likes_you - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I got in an argument with an ex-girlfriend who kept tactlessly bragging to me about her new boyfriend. I told her to read what she'd sent me, then pretend her boyfriend was telling her that. Fifteen minutes later, her boyfriend calls me, yelling for making her feel sad. FML

#21384606
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30792) - you deserved it (3591)

On 03/31/2015 at 5:35am - love - by lucasbeck99 (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while studying for an exam, the neighbor's chihuahua started barking outside. After a few seconds, my mom yelled out for me to stop laughing. She honestly thought the barking was my laughter. FML

#21396226
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30297) - you deserved it (3198)

On 04/19/2015 at 1:09pm - animals - by woof? (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a booklet came in the mail, addressed to me and titled "How To Train Your Wife". I didn't order it but my wife doesn't believe me. FML

Today, my mom came into my room to yell at me because she thought she heard me having sex, saying I'm too young for it. I'm 23 and I wasn't having sex. The noises were from my dad watching porn in the next room. FML

#21343705
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34924) - you deserved it (2700)

On 01/24/2015 at 10:26pm - intimacy - by confused (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, at a music festival, some douche unzipped the back of my skirt, exposing my Ninja Turtle undies to everyone before running off. FML

#21369215
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32153) - you deserved it (4870)

On 03/06/2015 at 9:03am - misc - by no touching - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I drove alone for the first time since I passed my test. I kept getting weird looks from other drivers and got pulled over by a cop. He said I was clearly underage and was sure my license was fake. Almost half an hour later, he finally let me go. I hate having a baby-face. FML

#21359872
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32225) - you deserved it (2562)

On 02/20/2015 at 3:00pm - misc - by all tweened out (man) - Canada

Today, at 2:00 am, my neighbor discovered "What Does The Fox Say?" He loves it. FML

#21376518
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27931) - you deserved it (2055)

On 03/17/2015 at 5:11pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, what started with me forcing a shit a little too hard ended up with me being rushed to the hospital with appendicitis. FML

#21392323
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29381) - you deserved it (2716)

On 04/12/2015 at 11:42am - health - by Anonymous (man) - Belgium

Today, I was taking a piss at a urinal when a fly started harassing me. I got so annoyed, I tried to swat it. Didn't go too well. I ended up losing control of my stream, soaking the guy beside me. He busted my face in. FML

#21445449
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16173) - you deserved it (23766)

On 07/22/2015 at 12:21pm - health - by Anonypiss (man) - Canada (Ontario)



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