Choose the period

Choose a category

Agreed
Commented
Favorited

Today, I woke up and took my mom to work. It wasn't until after I got home, logged on Facebook and looked at the upcoming birthdays to see that it was her birthday today. No wonder she was silent the entire car ride and slammed the door on the way out. FML

by MegGRRRz / 11/28/2009 at 10:33am / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized the odd smell I've been trying to get out of the house is coming from me. FML

by _akwardsituation / 01/01/2010 at 1:07am / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, while eating dinner, a car alarm went off outside for 15 minutes and was driving me crazy, until I realized it was my car. FML

by clu / 08/10/2010 at 2:07am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

Today, I tried giving myself a bikini wax for the first time, and I'm pretty sure I didn't do it right. Now I'm laying on my couch with a wet rag and ice inbetween my legs. FML

by HaleyDrew08 / 06/25/2010 at 11:17pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my co-worker insisted there must be an underlying, romantic reason for why I spend so much time teaching him everything, and that I didn't mean it when I told him that's what I'm paid to do. I'm actually supposed to train this guy for three weeks. Two more weeks to go. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 6:57am / Singapore / Work

Today, my friend and I were racing on our bicycles, when my chain snapped. I went over the handlebars and slid, on my back, for about ten feet. FML

by me / 11/11/2010 at 1:11pm / United States (Minnesota) / Health

Today, I reported in for my first day at work. When I walked in they asked "Who are you?" I answered "Cassie, it's my first day today" with a huge smile. They'd meant to call and offer the job to the other Cassie they interviewed. FML

by theothercassie / 02/10/2011 at 9:55am / Work

Today, my fiancé and I visited his family for dinner. The entire time I was there, his mother and sister had an in depth conversation about how attractive his ex girlfriends were and how they got along with them so well. FML

by BrisbaneCoop / 04/04/2011 at 1:13pm / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

Today, the only person to wish me a happy birthday was a survey website. I took their stupid survey out of appreciation. FML

by Anonymous / 04/01/2012 at 10:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my dad was helping my fiancé and me move. On the way, someone sideswiped the trailer. When the police came, we found my dad had a suspended license, no insurance, and a broken tail light. No one else could drive a manual, so we were stuck in a parking lot for 3 hours. Thanks, dad. FML

by thanksdad / 07/02/2012 at 9:20pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML

by cj1012 / 07/07/2012 at 11:16pm / United States / Work

Today, I announced to my family that I was going to start playing netball with my work colleagues. They all burst into fits of laughter at the thought of me doing physical activity. FML

by sunshinexx / 09/07/2012 at 5:50am / Australia / Health

Today, I realized that every targeted advertisement on my Facebook involves gym memberships and diet pills. FML

by liveviathetredmill / 10/01/2012 at 4:04pm / United States (New York) / Health