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Today, my dog got out of the house. I was running after him and remembered the old "pretend you're hurt" trick. I got on the ground, and cried out as if I was hurt. My dog just kept running. FML

Today, I could think of more 'pros' than 'cons' for why I should start drinking again. FML

Today, I took my two and a half year-old son Trick or Treating for the first time in our new neighborhood. At the very first house, a girl told us we were too early and slammed the door in our face. My son cried. FML

Today, I found out that my girlfriend has been sleeping around. After telling my best friend, I also found out that he and a few others have known for the past month. He asked, shocked, "Dude, I thought you knew?" FML

#20933837
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44426) - you deserved it (3625)

On 10/25/2013 at 7:55pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I decided to confront my friend who has been stealing from me for months. She denied it, while wearing a pair of my pants. FML

#20959350
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44100) - you deserved it (3977)

On 11/16/2013 at 12:17am - misc - by CODgirl102 - United States (Florida)

Today, I gave a short presentation at a neighborhood watch event to raise awareness of pickpocketing and to give tips on how to avoid becoming a victim of it. After I got back home, I realized my wallet was missing from my pocket. FML

#20940212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36459) - you deserved it (5749)

On 10/31/2013 at 12:58pm - work - by "ironyyyyyyy" -_- (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my friends started calling me "Soberman" because I recently gave up alcohol and have a Doberman. Normally, I wouldn't mind the nickname, but they call me Soberman everywhere. My new boss now thinks it's because I AM an alcoholic. FML

#20964266
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38572) - you deserved it (2896)

On 11/20/2013 at 6:09am - misc - by juice723 - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a girl came up and hugged me. At first I was frightened, but then I asked who she was. Turns out she was the kid I babysat for 3 years. She cried when she realized I didn't remember her, then threw gravel in my face and ran away. FML

Today, at the gym, I realized the guy who has been staring at me for the past 3 days is the same guy I promised to text back 5 months ago. FML

#20954898
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22161) - you deserved it (45682)

On 11/12/2013 at 6:18am - love - by awkwardencounters - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I sent a group text round to my friends asking if they wanted to hang out sometime. One of my friends thought this was aimed directly at her and confessed her love for me. FML

#20966629
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42807) - you deserved it (7691)

On 11/22/2013 at 5:18am - love - by awkwardpaul - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I was offered a job that pays far more than I expected, being a high school senior. My parents decided they aren't letting me take the job, saying I should enjoy my childhood. They're also not paying for my college, which is why I was looking for work in the first place. FML

#20960082
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47858) - you deserved it (2662)

On 11/16/2013 at 6:39pm - work - by Remy (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, after moving miles to be with my boyfriend, I logged onto his computer just in time to see his other girlfriend had sent naked pictures. FML

#20972839
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51570) - you deserved it (5604)

On 11/27/2013 at 7:01pm - intimacy - by unluckylassy - Ireland

Today, I found out that shirt sizes don't get longer, they get wider. Being 6ft4, every shirt I try on makes me look like a cheap stripper. FML

#20954733
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40768) - you deserved it (2954)

On 11/12/2013 at 12:31am - misc - by Pongy (man) -



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