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Today, I moved back into my dorm. My ex-girlfriend, and the guy she left me for, now cohabit next door. Now I get to hear them screwing while I try to do my homework. FML

#21043113
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46019) - you deserved it (3349)

On 01/28/2014 at 3:28pm - love - by Order of the Dangling Testicles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my in-laws kept mocking me for being "too clean" because I take a shower every day. They think I'm weird and kept saying things like "Be careful when you hug your daughter, she might squeak!" and calling me names like "water-wasting bitch." They haven't stopped all day. FML

#21058081
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43874) - you deserved it (3516)

On 02/12/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I discovered that when one of my toddlers throws up, the other sympathy-pukes too, and that this continues until they're both empty. I guess my car is going to stink of vomit for a while. FML

#21057222
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38335) - you deserved it (2815)

On 02/11/2014 at 2:10pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was at a swim meet. I asked my friend if he could be my wingman and help me get a date with a girl I really liked. I told him my plan, and as I finished and turned to go to her, I noticed her standing right there, listening in on the whole conversation. FML

#21055088
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39099) - you deserved it (10832)

On 02/09/2014 at 2:12am - love - by look before you speak - United States

Today, I had to give a sexual harassment seminar to my department. Someone put in a complaint that my example made them feel uncomfortable. FML

#21072334
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36844) - you deserved it (3650)

On 02/26/2014 at 4:44pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend yelled at me from the other room for washing the dishes "too loudly". FML

#21063397
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39041) - you deserved it (5570)

On 02/17/2014 at 1:28pm - love - by kj1 (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I walked into my house with a couple of friends and I saw my girlfriend doing laundry. I jokingly asked her if she had time to do a load of mine as well. She scoffed and said, "Yeah babe, I'll gladly do your laundry... The same day you learn to wipe properly." FML

#21058908
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21072) - you deserved it (46375)

On 02/13/2014 at 7:43am - love - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, I bought a new bra and panties and modeled them for my boyfriend. I thought he liked them, until mid-way through feeling me up, he decided he'd rather give me a massive wedgie. FML

#21068474
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40909) - you deserved it (6016)

On 02/22/2014 at 1:13pm - intimacy - by coppervains (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, at my therapy appointment, I was spilling my guts to my therapist. When I'd finished, to get rid of the awkward silence, I asked, "I'm not crazy, right?" His response was, "That's bit of a loaded question." FML

#21066990
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (5070)

On 02/20/2014 at 9:46pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the snow in my backyard melted, revealing just how much dog shit accumulated underneath it this winter. FML

#21090227
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31033) - you deserved it (6455)

On 03/18/2014 at 6:53pm - animals - by holyshitsnacks - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was driving through the mountains and there was a chain requirement. I went to put them on and found a note where my chains used to be saying, "Have fun in a blizzard now bitch" from my ex. FML

#21062139
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38067) - you deserved it (5528)

On 02/16/2014 at 2:37am - misc - by snowlover (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I arrived at the airport only to find my suitcase was lost and my 3 weeks worth of clothes and supplies gone. All I had left was my wallet and carry ons. Upon leaving the airport I was mugged. FML

#21068141
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47608) - you deserved it (2854)

On 02/22/2014 at 12:48am - misc - by seriously though - United States (Colorado)

Today, I took my 12 year-old to the orthodontist. While I was talking to the dentist about what was needing to be done, my daughter listened. With a straight face, the dentist joked, "Yeah, we're going to need to rip off her entire jaw." My daughter won't leave her room anymore. FML

#21098025
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (4235)

On 03/27/2014 at 8:09pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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