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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29725) - you deserved it (7030)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

#21446464
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26344) - you deserved it (1721)

On 07/24/2015 at 10:02am - work - by fishingforubies2 - Aruba

Today, I found out the girl I met online, who I spent hours talking to every day for the past 2 months, and who I fell in love with is actually my gay roomate. He says if I could fall in love with "her", I can fall in love with him. It doesn't work that way, dickhead. FML

#21457909
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28708) - you deserved it (4418)

On 08/19/2015 at 2:32am - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24253) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a medicine student, it's my sixth year, and I have spent the whole day in surgery. No one dared tell me that what I was wearing on my feet was actually supposed to be put over my hair. Which was embarrassing. FML

#949
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20857) - you deserved it (7590)

On 01/10/2009 at 10:52pm - work - by Carrie - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, the really hot guy that works in the same building as me came to work after being away for the past two days. I said "Look who finally decided to come to work." His response: "I had a death in the family, thanks." FML

#283908
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7745) - you deserved it (25144)

On 03/12/2009 at 2:57pm - work - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

#21181
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28526) - you deserved it (3694)

On 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm - misc - by greattt (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my boss called me into his office. I thought I was getting promoted because my sales had been really high lately. My boss shut his door behind me and asked me if I could comb his hair with a lice comb to get rid of his lice. I had to do it to keep my job. FML

#259626
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70084) - you deserved it (2973)

On 03/10/2009 at 9:02am - misc - by Janet - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to the Grand Canyon with my family. Also today, I found out that I have a crippling fear of heights. My family left me on a ledge hyperventilating and having a mental breakdown, while they hiked for another 2 hours. They won't stop telling me how pretty it was and what I missed. FML

#4341464
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (8353)

On 08/06/2009 at 6:18pm - misc - by a-scared (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was on a date with a guy, we were sitting in a restaurant having a fairly good conversation, when I had to go to the washroom. I left the table and when I came back, he was gone. Along with my wallet and car keys. FML

#4658498
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47968) - you deserved it (12596)

On 08/19/2009 at 3:44pm - love - by LifeFucksUsAll (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my mother had 'the talk' with me about sex. I spent the entire time confused as to what brought this up, until she mentioned she had found a used condom in the backseat of the car. I haven't had any action in it, and have no idea whose it was. FML

#5784290
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23329) - you deserved it (2108)

On 10/11/2009 at 9:28pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

#6084387
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30782) - you deserved it (3767)

On 10/31/2009 at 1:45pm - misc - by Morgannaken (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was texting my boyfriend, making plans to see him tomorrow. He ended the conversation by saying "I'm changing my sheets tomorrow, so take a shower." FML

#5892198
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21685) - you deserved it (6080)

On 10/19/2009 at 3:26am - intimacy - by Shower? - Sent from mobile version



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