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Today, I worked my boyfriend's shift so he could stay home. I even brought him the free meal I got for helping out. Turns out he wanted to stay home so badly to cheat on me. FML

by xxruby / 02/24/2015 at 4:07pm / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my best friend's girlfriend is cheating on him with his own brother. I went over to his place and told him everything while his girlfriend was in the same room. He called me a jealous liar who wanted to break them up, and kicked me out while she looked on, smirking. FML

by Anunimos / 04/19/2015 at 9:08am / Romania (Bucuresti) / Miscellaneous

Today, it was my first day working at a library. I expected it to be fun and peaceful, not to end up having to call the cops on a guy who started jerking off into a book. FML

by fishingforubies2 / 07/24/2015 at 10:02am / Aruba / Work

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

by neoteck / 01/08/2009 at 2:55am / Love

Today, I went to get my school picture taken, when the photographer looked at me, saying, "You look like you need a mirror." FML

by greattt / 02/10/2009 at 4:15pm / United States (South Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, mum woke me up before seven in the morning on a Saturday so I could open my birthday gifts. I'm an insomniac and I had just fallen asleep. I wasn't even awake yet and she yelled at me to be more enthusiastic. FML

by Morgannaken / 10/31/2009 at 1:45pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter was playing outside. I was watching her from the window, and I saw her pick up a dead bird. I ran outside to grab her. As I picked her up and started scolding her, she tried to scratch my face. In the attempt, her hand went straight into my mouth. FML

by gbabyy / 11/21/2009 at 10:25pm / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my math TA showed the class how one of her "dumb" students answered a test question. Everyone laughed as she wrote out the students answer, including myself, until I looked down at my answer sheet and saw that I submitted an identical answer. FML

by Anonymous / 12/10/2009 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother informed me that I am not allowed to drive in snow. I live in Minnesota. FML

by Snow / 12/26/2009 at 4:45pm / United States (Minnesota) / Transportation

Today, was my first day at my new job, which requires you to wear a special shirt. Come to find out, they only have medium sized shirts. I am an XL. They demanded I wear the shirt anyway. FML

by mikey09 / 01/17/2010 at 12:37am / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, I was driving on roads that were bad from two days of snow. I spun my car out, and ended up half-way in a ditch. Thinking that I could push my car out of the snow, I got out of my car, landing in waist deep snow. When trying to get back in, I fell neck deep into snow. FML

by warningxxLidell / 01/09/2010 at 1:45am / United States (Iowa) / Transportation

Today, someone had put a lock on my bike. While I was trying to saw it off, the police drove by. I was arrested for trying to steal a bike and released four hours later when they figured out that it was actually my bike. FML

by MattVh / 01/12/2010 at 12:23pm / Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went on a date with a cute guy. After picking me up, he started to play on repeat, and sing to me, 'Happy Together' by The Turtles. For the entire 20 minute ride. FML

by girlie5445 / 02/13/2010 at 3:49am / United Kingdom (London) / Love