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Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (3202)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44722) - you deserved it (4164)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36567) - you deserved it (5164)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, after realizing my flashcards had fallen out of my binder, I asked my teacher if I could quickly go to my locker to get them. She said no and told me to go sit down. As soon as class ended, I went to my locker and brought them to her. Her response? "Why didn't you ask me to get these during class?" FML

#21301020
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37471) - you deserved it (2629)

On 11/17/2014 at 10:10pm - work - by ohgosh... (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35039) - you deserved it (2724)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, while at my shitty, minimum wage job at McDonalds, a guy walked out of the bathroom. He said "Good luck in there." worriedly, then left. I don't know if it was his handiwork, but it looked like a shit grenade had detonated. It was even on the walls. FML

#21439774
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27816) - you deserved it (2062)

On 07/10/2015 at 10:20pm - work - by don't get paid enough for this (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37209) - you deserved it (5856)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, my drunken feminazi mother shouted to me at the top of her lungs, "All men are fucking assholes, and your new husband is no different!" during our wedding reception. All he did was ask her how she liked the salmon. FML

#21407591
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31916) - you deserved it (2947)

On 05/10/2015 at 2:00am - misc - by How's the salmon? - United States

Today, my boyfriend complained that I only respond to his flirtations with exasperation and annoyance. Apparently, grunting and humping my leg like an ill-mannered dog while I'm trying to wash dishes is his way of flirting. FML

#21405919
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33065) - you deserved it (3836)

On 05/06/2015 at 10:12pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an old lady in public transport yelled at me and my dog, called me a liar, and threw her grape soda over me because according to her my pet Shiba Inu was actually a fox, and keeping foxes as pets is illegal. FML

#21422437
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26944) - you deserved it (1671)

On 06/07/2015 at 5:48pm - animals - by foxownerapperantly - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, my extremely religious mom ranted at me, saying I'd only bought an electric toothbrush so I could masturbate with it. I'm a guy. FML

#21435969
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30171) - you deserved it (2096)

On 07/03/2015 at 5:29pm - intimacy - by but cum to think of it... (man) -

Today, I went to work 300 miles away from where I live. I couldn't find my customer's address, so I decided to call him. I'd picked up my wireless house phone instead of my mobile. FML

#339
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25604) - you deserved it (9124)

On 11/19/2008 at 3:00am - work - by comphone - Sent from mobile version

Today, I walked past a man handing out miniature Bibles on my way to class. He handed me one, commenting "here, you look like you need this." FML

#8842
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (4643)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:18pm - misc - by Michigan (woman) - United States (Michigan)



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