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Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45459) - you deserved it (3933)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, at my job as a fast food manager, I saw one of my employees "trying to pick the bugs out" of our cookies. They were the raisins in them. FML

#21234756
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37253) - you deserved it (3400)

On 08/11/2014 at 10:18am - work - by mcmanager - United States (California)

Today, I went directly from the shopping mall to the hospital. My sister had slammed my hand in the car door, all because I considered purchasing a dress that looked like something she might buy for herself. FML

#21235533
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41915) - you deserved it (3181)

On 08/12/2014 at 1:34am - health - by vicious_fashion (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I wrecked my car because my mom texted me, telling me not to text and drive. FML

#21249597
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22874) - you deserved it (40262)

On 09/01/2014 at 10:08am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was taking a customer's order, when she said she'd better go for a salad, because she was getting fat. She was actually very slim, so I told her she wasn't fat at all. She took one look at me and snorted "Yeah, not compared to you, that's for sure." FML

#21245733
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43581) - you deserved it (4075)

On 08/26/2014 at 11:30am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32229) - you deserved it (3523)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I tried to seduce my boyfriend so I mounted him and began kissing him. He immediately pretended to snore into my mouth and rolled over, making me fall off of the bed. FML

#21283230
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35044) - you deserved it (4996)

On 10/22/2014 at 5:24pm - intimacy - by CJune24 (woman) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)

Today, my co-worker threw a rubber mallet at my face, and I broke my finger in the process of saving my face. She then told me to "take it up with HR, bitch". She's the HR manager. FML

#21302927
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32877) - you deserved it (2556)

On 11/20/2014 at 7:29pm - work - by spreadburger - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he gets more pleasure out of using a Q-tip than he does having sex with me. FML

#21333219
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (5692)

On 01/08/2015 at 9:24am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Estonia (Harjumaa)

Today, a council worker showed up on my doorstep for the final pool installation inspection, which was scheduled 10 years ago. FML

#21336247
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29773) - you deserved it (2000)

On 01/13/2015 at 3:28am - misc - by livingstonjamie - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my father decided it would be a good idea to give me the sex talk, at Target, at the top of his lungs. FML

#21379134
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30844) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/21/2015 at 9:04pm - misc - by tobuscus9412 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a blind date at a restaurant. While looking at the menu, my date said "Who even likes kweetch? Gross." When I realized she was trying to say "quiche", I corrected her. That pissed her off. Now I'm at home, alone, trying to decide which hand is going to keep me company tonight. FML

#21392355
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31844) - you deserved it (7086)

On 04/12/2015 at 1:00pm - intimacy - by left, I guess (man) - Canada (Nova Scotia)



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