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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a text from my mom shaming me for forgetting my sister's birthday. It isn't her birthday today, it's mine. FML

#21355845
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37072) - you deserved it (2085)

On 02/14/2015 at 9:10am - misc - by secret - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35014) - you deserved it (2794)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister told me she found my escaped tarantula and put it in a box on my bed. I never had a tarantula, and the box was empty when I checked. FML

#21409835
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30053) - you deserved it (2380)

On 05/14/2015 at 1:11am - animals - by cricketsins (woman) - United States

Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML

#21398988
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (5805)

On 04/24/2015 at 12:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking to my car with 600 dollars worth of books because I start college next week, when I was robbed by some guy that sounded like Cartman. He punched me because I could not stop laughing whenever he would try to threaten me. FML

Today, I called my dad to inform him I was coming home from college for the weekend. Expecting him to be excited, he responded with "why?" This weekend was my birthday. FML

#16023
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39373) - you deserved it (2077)

On 02/08/2009 at 9:32pm - misc - by seb21 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, the police called because someone had turned in my wallet that was stolen. I happily drove home only to find that my house had been robbed and ransacked. FML

#6627
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46143) - you deserved it (1957)

On 02/03/2009 at 4:46pm - money - by fire0fisis - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I woke up and decided to get the morning paper, I went outside with my bath robe on and when I leaned down to get my paper my bath robe came undone. Apparently everyone on my street saw it and decided to bring up public nudity at the next neighborhood meeting. FML

#3457925
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35656) - you deserved it (9168)

On 07/03/2009 at 4:13pm - misc - by Embarresedguy (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I flew from Chicago to San Francisco to get some of my stuff out of a storage unit. I left the keys for the padlock at home. FML

#2530639
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20807) - you deserved it (50476)

On 06/02/2009 at 12:14pm - misc - by Tom (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I fell down the stairs and broke my arm. I went into hospital to get it put in a cast, but still went into school afterwards. I got written up for truancy because I didn't have a doctor's note. The cast was still on my arm. FML

#5328146
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39264) - you deserved it (3121)

On 09/18/2009 at 4:06am - misc - by London (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I decided to check my email on our family computer. Since my dad's account was already logged on, I chose to use his instead of logging on my own. When opening up a new page and seeing his recently viewed sites, I learned that he loves to watch porn. I also learned he has a foot fetish. FML

#4172225
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31985) - you deserved it (18431)

On 07/30/2009 at 8:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend came to visit. We went to a cafe where I managed to lock myself in the toilet, breaking the key. I then had to wait for them to break down the door. I came out to applause from everyone, who had been laughing at me for 25 minutes. FML

#3770832
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (4975)

On 07/15/2009 at 10:29am - misc - by FML (woman) - Syrian Arab Republic (Dimashq)

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

#4397401
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40279) - you deserved it (7650)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)



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