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Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40660) - you deserved it (2923)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, my two-year-old daughter's favourite word is 'No'. After leaving her with my sixteen-year-old brother, she now knows other N words as well. Niet, Nein, Non and Never. Her teenage uncle thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21240415
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36569) - you deserved it (6065)

On 08/18/2014 at 9:26am - kids - by 919191 (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47742) - you deserved it (5397)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my class of fifth graders to write down a list of all the compound words they knew. At least four of them put down 'motherfucker'. FML

#21218609
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40157) - you deserved it (4536)

On 07/23/2014 at 7:16pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40276) - you deserved it (3862)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30274) - you deserved it (12842)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40046) - you deserved it (2260)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (281) - you deserved it (9883)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36314) - you deserved it (5250)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I stood up too quickly and got dizzy, so I sat on the edge of the bed to regain my balance. I started dozing off to sleep again, got confused, and peed down the side of my bed thinking I was on the toilet. FML

#21272641
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35529) - you deserved it (9607)

On 10/07/2014 at 7:33am - misc - by Waterfalls (woman) - United States (California)

Today, a girl from class screamed at me in public for hugging the guy she likes. She threatened to take me out if I didn't "back off". That guy is my boyfriend. FML

#21333251
112 comments

Today, my parents walked in on me, having sex. No, I wasn't having sex. They were. FML

#21384025
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35890) - you deserved it (2914)

On 03/30/2015 at 6:30am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, after a 7 year dry spell, I finally got laid. The downside? It was in my dreams and involved a character from My Little Pony forcing itself on me. Now I hate that fucking stupid show more than ever. FML

#21365913
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30906) - you deserved it (6444)

On 03/01/2015 at 2:24pm - intimacy - by love and tolerape, apparently (man) - India (Jharkhand)



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