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Today, like every other day, my daughter thinks that degrading skinny people is very "non-conformist" and "edgy". This time, though, a slightly slim girl punched her in the face when she accused her of being anorexic. Now people think I gave my daughter her new black eye. FML

#20942627
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39732) - you deserved it (6286)

On 11/02/2013 at 2:46pm - kids - by curvster daughter (man) - United States

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65284) - you deserved it (4836)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had to go to a big dinner with my insane relatives. Highlights of conversation included my sister telling us about the "country of Iowa", my dad accusing me of faking my chronic fatigue syndrome, and my grandpa claiming that Nelson Mandela is the Antichrist. FML

#20941414
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35708) - you deserved it (2936)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:38pm - misc - by FUCK ME, MAKE IT STOP (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was conducting surveys over the phone at work. As I called a new respondent, someone answered the phone, burped loudly, and hung up. This isn't the first time. I hate this job. FML

Today, I told my girlfriend I loved her. She left and never came back. FML

#20943458
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52332) - you deserved it (5447)

On 11/03/2013 at 4:57am - love - by Whatswrongwithme? (man) - United Kingdom

Today, in my second year at university, I took a pregnancy test. It is the only test I've passed all month. FML

#20966092
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32392) - you deserved it (47034)

On 11/21/2013 at 7:18pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to my daughter that just because it says non-toxic on the crayons, it doesn't mean that you should eat them. She's 16. FML

#20977509
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44323) - you deserved it (5511)

On 12/01/2013 at 9:50pm - kids - by no she wasn't high - United States (Texas)

Today, one of the special needs teens I work with confessed his love for me. It was cute until he put his erection on my leg and attempted to hump me. FML

Today, I was lying beside my 5-year-old son to help him get to sleep. He turned his head and asked, "Daddy, why do you suck so much?" FML

#20959118
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44850) - you deserved it (4324)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:53pm - kids - by I don't know, son (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out my best friend made a program to reply to my text messages with random sentences from a list. It took 15 minutes of texting before I finally noticed. FML

#20959084
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38238) - you deserved it (5862)

On 11/15/2013 at 8:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - India (Gujarat)

Today, during school, I passed out in the lunch line and hit my head on the metal rail as I fell. Rather than helping or expressing concern at all, my friends simply left my unconscious body on the floor. Why? They had to get to the lasagna before the cafeteria ran out of it. FML

Today, my debate partner repeatedly said "You mad, bro?" to the opposing team in our college debate class. That debate was worth a considerable portion of our grade. FML

#20959913
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40770) - you deserved it (2900)

On 11/16/2013 at 3:18pm - misc - by gonnafail (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)



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