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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my friends and I spent a little too long enjoying a beautiful cliff overlooking the ocean. We spent the next 3 hours lost in a pitch black jungle with only one pocket-sized flashlight. FML

#20901708
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33130) - you deserved it (11040)

On 09/30/2013 at 7:18am - misc - by sothisishowidie - Guam

Today, I was training at work on proper techniques of physical restraint. As my coworker was practicing on me, I realized this was the first time I've had physical contact with a man in years. I'm ashamed to admit how good it felt to feel his weight pressed into my back as I pretended to resist. FML

#20906772
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35849) - you deserved it (3760)

On 10/04/2013 at 1:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I smelled chicken nuggets and asked my boyfriend if he was making some. He wasn't. It was my armpits. FML

#20902037
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20244) - you deserved it (36223)

On 09/30/2013 at 3:02pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boss' son is training to take over my job as head translator, after having convinced his dad that he's fluent in Spanish, and that my skills suck. I soon walked in on him using Google Translate on a legal document. My boss refuses to believe me. FML

#20898132
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41877) - you deserved it (2462)

On 09/27/2013 at 3:41pm - work - by anahira6 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend's dad said he'd given my boyfriend £100 to take me out for a meal last night and he hoped I'd enjoyed it. Last night my boyfriend and I went to pizza hut, shared a pizza and split the bill. Turns out my boyfriend had simply pocketed the money without telling anyone. FML

#20903132
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43559) - you deserved it (3379)

On 10/01/2013 at 8:32am - love - by hmmm (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, my neighbor finally password-protected his wifi. Right in the middle of my timed, online exam. FML

#20965985
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25750) - you deserved it (81247)

On 11/21/2013 at 5:30pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was at my in-laws' house, and as I was walking to the living room I had my hands on the back of my hips supporting my back. My mother-in-law told me to stop because it makes me look pregnant. I'm 9 months pregnant. FML

#20912417
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44849) - you deserved it (2425)

On 10/08/2013 at 12:30pm - misc - by she knows - United States (Hawaii)

Today, the tickets I bought for my favorite band's concert arrived in the mail. The concert was last night. FML

#20935170
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43420) - you deserved it (3665)

On 10/27/2013 at 12:11am - misc - by MsConfusedd (woman) - United States

Today, I worked 24 hours straight fixing my company's servers. After it was over, I breathed a huge sigh of relief and promptly fell asleep at my desk. My boss found me an hour later, refused to listen to me, and fired me for sleeping on the job. FML

#20933214
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44362) - you deserved it (3686)

On 10/25/2013 at 5:01am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend got a detention for public display of affection. We go to different schools. FML

#20937522
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50933) - you deserved it (3517)

On 10/29/2013 at 12:24am - love - by cmart_9 (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned where my mom's "special hiding spot" that I'll "never find" for the Halloween chocolate is, when I preheated the oven to make cookies. FML

#20928856
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (3956)

On 10/21/2013 at 12:57pm - misc - by - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while working customer service, I instructed a customer to press the pound key on her cellphone. She hesitated a moment before asking, "Um, the pound key? You mean the hashtag, right?" FML

#20941322
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39460) - you deserved it (3656)

On 11/01/2013 at 12:49pm - work - by #isthisthepoundkey? - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a call from my husband asking me to bail him out from jail. He was arrested after being caught having sex with a waitress in a restaurant bathroom. FML

#20951750
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56559) - you deserved it (3286)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:30pm - intimacy - by f (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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