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Today, I woke up and saw that my alarm clock had fallen on the floor. It read 9:05 am. I panicked because I was late for work. As I frantically got ready, I went to pick my alarm clock up to place it back on my nightstand when I realized it was upside down. The actual time was 5:06. FML

#20879453
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40721) - you deserved it (6948)

On 09/13/2013 at 9:24am - misc - by NoorFML (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend dumped me for "cheating" on him by using a vibrator. FML

#20851263
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53242) - you deserved it (15785)

On 08/23/2013 at 7:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I went to a store. I was wearing a shirt that I'd bought from the very same store, and was accused of stealing. When I tried explaining, the manager said I was lying because I'm a teenager and "all teenagers are full of shit." FML

Today, after growing my hair out for over a year and constantly being told that it makes me look like a girl, I finally cut it. The first thing my friends said when they saw me was that I now look like a "lesbian." FML

#20874059
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42957) - you deserved it (5445)

On 09/09/2013 at 2:42am - misc - by jessel_ladd92 (man) - United States

Today, my little brother grabbed my boobs and wouldn't let go until I pried his hands off. When I told my mom, her response was, "Get over it. He's a little kid who doesn't know any better." He's 14 years old. FML

#20848790
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53313) - you deserved it (3319)

On 08/22/2013 at 12:48am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I moved into my university dorm a week before classes start. Everyone kept giving me weird looks as they watched me move my stuff in. Finally, one of my dorm mates asked me if I knew that school had actually started last week. I didn't. FML

#20848839
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46142) - you deserved it (14947)

On 08/22/2013 at 1:31am - work - by Kingofbosses (man) - United States

Today, after getting back from a year-long world trip, I nearly fell on my knees and cried when I saw boxes of Twinkies at my local gas station. Finding out they were back was the highlight of the year. FML

Today, I realized that I have a rack and butt most girls would be jealous of. That wouldn't be bad if I wasn't a dude. FML

Today, the mother of one of my students bitched me out about her son's poor grades. He lazes around all day, paying no attention and being a constant nuisance. But, she says it's not his fault, and demands that I give him better grades so he won't get "self-esteem" issues. FML

#20870380
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48827) - you deserved it (3202)

On 09/06/2013 at 4:36pm - work - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, while at the zoo, I found out that the rhinos there can pee backwards, while standing directly behind one. FML

#20874616
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38391) - you deserved it (4072)

On 09/09/2013 at 4:51pm - animals - by Are you kidding me? - United States (Kansas)

Today, I texted a cute picture of my boyfriend and me to my mom, who lives very far away. She replied saying that my Photoshop skills are great, but that I don't need to go so far to pretend that anyone would date me, and that there's no shame in being single at 25. FML

#20899972
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (2881)

On 09/29/2013 at 12:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, in French class we had to write love letters as an exercise. Since my boyfriend recently broke up with me by text message, I ended up writing a 20-sentence love letter in French to my cat. FML

#20878541
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44266) - you deserved it (4041)

On 09/12/2013 at 5:24pm - love - by Frenchie - United States (Illinois)

Today, my room mate told all of our mutual friends that he had walked in on me doing woodwork in my room. They all thought he meant he had caught me rubbing one out. I'm actually building a guitar. FML

#20883989
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48802) - you deserved it (3384)

On 09/16/2013 at 5:11pm - intimacy - by I have wood (man) - United States (Texas)



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