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Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20480) - you deserved it (6525)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was woken up by my elderly neighbor banging on my door at 2am. She needed "urgent" assistance as she had forgotten how to turn her TV off. I'd just fallen asleep. FML

#20184989
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21651) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/30/2012 at 2:29am - misc - by Rachael (woman) - Australia

Today, I went to work at a hotel. One of the guests decided to play the piano in the lobby. He's deaf. Unfortunately, I'm not. FML

#20575584
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30958) - you deserved it (6406)

On 04/05/2013 at 12:20am - work - by torturedears (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the vet sent me an email wishing my kitten a happy 2nd birthday. My cat died last year. FML

#20686886
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47898) - you deserved it (3983)

On 05/26/2013 at 4:33am - animals - by Tiber46 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got my period 2 days early, while being interviewed for my dream job. Let's just say that I don't have very high hopes after walking backwards to the exit door and falling down upon colliding with the wall. FML

#20861465
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44666) - you deserved it (3892)

On 08/31/2013 at 8:14am - health - by faulty plumbimg! (woman) - India

Today, a street preacher got on my metro car and gave a long, loud speech about how we sinful, polluted congressional staffers must inform our bosses that choosing a homosexual lifestyle was like trading your soul for soup. We got stuck in a tunnel for thirty minutes. FML

#20887597
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38747) - you deserved it (3754)

On 09/19/2013 at 8:54am - misc - by CapitolSouthSux (woman) - United States

Today, I tried turning on my boyfriend by sending him naughty pictures and texts, describing in detail all the things I was going to do to him when we have the house to ourselves this weekend. He responded by quoting that crappy movie 'The Room', saying, "Oh hi doggie!" FML

#20904281
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39070) - you deserved it (6444)

On 10/02/2013 at 1:47am - intimacy - by fed up/turned off - United States (California)

Today, I was at the dentist. I ended up having some work done and left with a numb mouth. I have school pictures in less than 2 hours and I can neither smile nor stop drooling everywhere. FML

#20920258
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43822) - you deserved it (6614)

On 10/14/2013 at 3:32pm - health - by soccer_bball (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my grandma commented on my Facebook profile picture: "That's a great photo! It doesn't look anything like you!" FML

#20982946
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37701) - you deserved it (3466)

On 12/06/2013 at 4:20pm - misc - by oh (woman) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Today, I did a bike ride and run with a gent I'm serious about. On the run, I had a big lead until he passed me up saying, "I'm going to marry you." Puzzled that he would propose and then sprint away leaving me trailing, he clarified at the finish. His words: "I'm going to bury you." FML

#21014028
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39860) - you deserved it (5079)

On 01/02/2014 at 8:17am - love - by Babs - United States (California)

Today, my husband cracked a "rectum? damn near killed him" joke at my grandfather's funeral. He had genuinely spoken without thinking, but his quick gasp and "Oh shit" sounded quite sarcastic. We were both kicked out. My family thinks I put him up to the whole thing. FML

#21062405
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40426) - you deserved it (4488)

On 02/16/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by shanti (woman) -

Today, I had to explain to my husband that it's biologically impossible for cats and dogs to cross-breed, and that his "brilliant idea" of getting ours to mate is just plain disturbing. He still doesn't believe me. FML

#21084031
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38557) - you deserved it (4166)

On 03/11/2014 at 2:51pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend turned down a job that would have more than doubled his income because he didn't want to upset his current boss by quitting. FML



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