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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to take bus to work, because yesterday my car was hit by a bus. While standing there, I noticed the driver kept looking back at me every now and then. As I went to get off, he looks at me again and says: "Sorry..." FML

#21252700
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45764) - you deserved it (2943)

On 09/05/2014 at 10:36pm - work - by crop circle galore - United States

Today, I went to a market. I saw stall which had mainly animal furs and things like that. I found a rounded, furry pen and stroked my cheek with it. Wondering what it was, being so soft and oddly shaped, I checked the tag. It was kangaroo testicles. FML

#21211381
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36272) - you deserved it (17603)

On 07/16/2014 at 11:31pm - misc - by happypineapple - Australia (Queensland)

Today, it was a hot day and a woman walking in front of me collapsed. I helped her up, and I called an ambulance while she laid down. While we waited, two teenage girls walked past and I heard one say to the other, "I love how this city just lets people tan wherever". FML

#21237053
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40625) - you deserved it (2918)

On 08/13/2014 at 11:02pm - kids - by Anonymous - New Zealand

Today, while finally about to make love with my long term boyfriend, he came from putting a condom on. FML

#21249014
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47645) - you deserved it (5391)

On 08/31/2014 at 11:14am - intimacy - by anon - United States (Texas)

Today, while working my shift at the grocery store, we ran out of muffins. I'm a little overweight, and I guess that's the reason an irate customer accused me of eating all of them. FML

#21233183
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40246) - you deserved it (3859)

On 08/09/2014 at 9:50am - work - by muffins - United States (Maryland)

Today, my girlfriend found out that I secretly watch porn while she sleeps, but she seemed to be fine with it. That's until the next day, when she got on my Facebook account and publicly shared every porn page I visit. My father even commented, "Poor choice in porn, son". FML

#21311373
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30239) - you deserved it (12832)

On 12/04/2014 at 11:31am - misc - by Red (man) -

Today, I asked out the girl of my dreams. She was so excited that she had a severe asthma attack and ended up in hospital. Her answer was yes, but her parents won't let me anywhere near her now. They say I'm lucky they haven't sued me for "trying to kill her". FML

#21312768
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39980) - you deserved it (2256)

On 12/06/2014 at 7:56pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35655) - you deserved it (5163)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa

Today, I had a one night stand. After holding in my farts all night as is done, I decided enough was enough and to calmly let one slip out. One did not calmly slip out instead I shit myself in her bed. I was naked at the time so was unable to hide it. FML

#21346279
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29041) - you deserved it (12834)

On 01/29/2015 at 4:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I tried to sell 2,000 options contracts, but I bought them instead, resulting in a big loss. FML

#586
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6142) - you deserved it (19177)

On 12/24/2008 at 6:23am - work - by Dope - United States (New York)

Today, I get home and there's a package waiting for me. I ordered something online 2 weeks ago for a girl I like. She's not available anymore. No refunds. FML

#1976
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16966) - you deserved it (4703)

On 01/21/2009 at 1:59am - love - by Dudeman5000 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18654) - you deserved it (1930)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

#2590
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4605) - you deserved it (24313)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:38pm - misc - by smoker - United States (California)



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