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Today, I was the best man at a wedding and I was flirting with a cute bridesmaid. Then this old guy decides to give the newlyweds a toast. He made a crappy joke and barely anybody laughed. So I say to the girl, "Wow that sucked, who the hell does he think he is?" The girl replies, "That's my dad". FML

#1223520
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11983) - you deserved it (70244)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:24pm - misc - by derranged - China (Tianjin)

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

#1617727
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50642) - you deserved it (5013)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by kraussy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, for my art project, I spent hours painting my whole body in black spots with acrylic paint. I then went and stood outside in the snow, naked, so I could take pictures of it. Only then to find out the camera was out of batteries. FML

#7197887
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8572) - you deserved it (32372)

On 01/07/2010 at 11:36am - misc - by Boob (woman) - United Kingdom (Windsor and Maidenhead)

Today, I asked my wife for her computer password because my computer crashed. After minutes of begging she finally told me. Turns out that her password happens to be her ex's name. FML

#14227030
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28738) - you deserved it (3269)

On 12/16/2010 at 7:20pm - love - by expassword (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found out that my current girlfriend has dated all of my friends at one time or another. FML

#13372862
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25322) - you deserved it (4881)

On 10/09/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was on my hour long bus ride home with a full bladder. Right as the bus reached my stop, the time I spent holding it in was over. I didn't make it out of the aisle before I peed my pants. FML

#13145145
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25552) - you deserved it (7087)

On 09/21/2010 at 6:16pm - health - by forgotten (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my girlfriend of 6 months is not actually on vacation with her cousin but is moving in with her fiancé. FML

#13530612
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32063) - you deserved it (2925)

On 10/20/2010 at 10:04pm - love - by mook05 - United States

Today, I missed my shift at work. I had asked my girlfriend, who works at the same store, to text me my schedule. She sent me the wrong hours for today. I got suspended, and she broke up with me for being too irresponsible. FML

#12522579
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30397) - you deserved it (8032)

On 08/14/2010 at 4:41pm - love - by irresponsible (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16480) - you deserved it (26476)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, while I was at work, a co-worker watched while some kid stole the radio out of my car. FML

#17282726
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29224) - you deserved it (2536)

On 07/28/2011 at 12:34am - work - by cocokiss410 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I fell off a ladder while building a shelter for one of my wife's horses. I think I broke some ribs. I absolutely hate horses. FML

#18499022
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24493) - you deserved it (6054)

On 12/12/2011 at 10:47pm - health - by CessnaPilot - United States (Texas)

Today, a co-worker gave me a couple of CDs he said he wanted me to listen to. I got excited, thinking that they were playlists he'd made for me. They were self-help tracks. FML

#20104274
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19211) - you deserved it (2211)

On 10/06/2012 at 1:09pm - work - by The Last Cockbender (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I bought a new armband to hold my iPhone while working out so I can listen to music and I was excited to start getting in shape. Unfortunately, when I tried it on, my arm was too big and it didn't fit. FML

#20168720
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20482) - you deserved it (6526)

On 11/18/2012 at 10:13pm - health - by joe - United States (Maryland)



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