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Today, while running on the treadmill at the gym, I tried to wipe some sweat off my brow before it could make its way down into my eye. I ended up poking myself in the eye so hard that I yelped, stumbled and was thrown off the still-moving treadmill while trying to regain my balance. FML

#20738117
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34250) - you deserved it (5874)

On 06/20/2013 at 11:06pm - health - by Ouch (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was lectured by a self-professed vegan over my "barbaric" eating habits, in between her scarfing down a tuna fish sandwich. FML

#20727332
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32021) - you deserved it (2086)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:13pm - misc - by fuckedbyahipster (man) - Finland

Today, I started my new job as a cashier for a drugstore. As I scanned some children's medicine for a family, I gave the girl a tissue because her nose was running. Later, my boss sat me down and told me there had been a complaint about a "female pedo-employee". I'm the only woman working there. FML

#20732082
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38992) - you deserved it (2280)

On 06/17/2013 at 8:27pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was moving to my new apartment. I left some furniture outside as I drove to dump the first load at my new place. When I got back, everything was gone. Apparently, today is the day the donation truck was coming around to take everything we don't need. FML

#20768180
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44708) - you deserved it (22150)

On 07/07/2013 at 2:35am - misc - by lostmystuff (man) - United States (California)

Today, my shoe fell apart a few minutes after I got to work. I called my boyfriend and asked him to bring me the "pretty black pair" in my closet. What did he bring? Black stilettos. I'm a waitress with an eight hour shift. FML

#20756560
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30490) - you deserved it (26256)

On 06/30/2013 at 7:00pm - work - by readytoamputatemyfeet (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had to explain to a coworker that "the little red X" next to the email title she's been pushing out of curiosity is actually the delete button. Then, I had to restore the dozen emails she'd deleted even after I told her to stop. She's a manager. I stock shelves for a living. FML

#20758316
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37377) - you deserved it (2037)

On 07/01/2013 at 5:14pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend kicked me out for bringing up the idea of her maybe giving me a blowjob someday. According to her, it's "demeaning" and "sick". She doesn't seem to have a problem always making me go down on her for ages as a condition for having sex with me, though. FML

#20754518
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51793) - you deserved it (8369)

On 06/29/2013 at 3:58pm - intimacy - by patriarchal apparently (man) - Saint Lucia

Today, after I got turned down for yet another job, my dad glanced up at me and casually remarked that porn is always a stable market. FML

#20776199
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54012) - you deserved it (5771)

On 07/11/2013 at 3:50pm - intimacy - by fucked up dad (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I came home from a long shift at work to find that my roommate had completely rearranged all of the furniture. Apparently the new arrangement is supposed to improve the feng shui of our apartment. My bed is in the living room. FML

#20760393
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36094) - you deserved it (2478)

On 07/02/2013 at 8:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, while out for lunch, a guy approached me and asked for my number. I politely declined. To my dismay, he dropped to his knees, grabbed his head, and started moaning about how nobody ever gives him a chance. I felt the accusing stares. FML

#20766730
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45989) - you deserved it (6151)

On 07/06/2013 at 7:26am - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my older brother told me that the only reason I like cats is because they control minds. I laughed. He was serious. FML

#20771105
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32918) - you deserved it (3127)

On 07/08/2013 at 7:26pm - animals - by Zoey_M - Saudi Arabia (Ar Riyad)

Today, I announced my third pregnancy to my family. My dad's only reaction was to scoff, "Really? Stop breeding already." FML

#20780277
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40281) - you deserved it (13007)

On 07/13/2013 at 4:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to try something new in the bedroom, so she got an assortment of different sized cock rings. She laughed when the one we were trying to use kept falling off, and said to try a smaller one. It was the smallest in the set. FML

#20807595
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56376) - you deserved it (8107)

On 07/28/2013 at 3:45am - intimacy - by microlovin (man) - United States (California)



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