Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I was fired for not asking a senior citizen for proof that he was over 21 and legally allowed to purchase alcohol. When I told my manager he was clearly over 21, he replied, "But what if he WASN'T?" FML

#21412440
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31809) - you deserved it (3434)

On 05/19/2015 at 7:43am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, a man tried to mug me. I actually apologized to him for not having my wallet on me. FML

#21419568
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28879) - you deserved it (5040)

On 06/02/2015 at 3:42am - money - by sorrystupid - United States

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24220) - you deserved it (2212)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

#421
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32101) - you deserved it (2370)

On 11/30/2008 at 10:25pm - love - by English - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21987) - you deserved it (3916)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I came home from out of state. I found out someone online had told my husband that the "fumes" from hot showers can be lethal. As a precaution, he removed the draft-blocking bathroom door to make sure it's "properly ventilated." FML

#19116671
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21634) - you deserved it (2394)

On 02/19/2012 at 5:45pm - misc - by marriedtoaretard (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking downtown. I'm 57 years old, and I'm pretty well along in terms of hair loss. On top of that, I recently hurt my left leg and am walking with a crutch. I passed two teenagers, who were looking at me, and I overheard "Yeah, I agree. I'm much more scared of aging than death." FML

#2765293
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49097) - you deserved it (2666)

On 06/10/2009 at 4:18am - misc - by older (man) - United States (California)

Today, one of our store's beach balls came out of nowhere and whacked me in the back of my head. I started reaming out two young girls for playing in the store, even when they said it wasn't them. Soon after, one of my employees admitted that it was her. I made some 7 year olds cry and it wasn't them. FML

#3467075
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10640) - you deserved it (54276)

On 07/03/2009 at 11:04pm - work - by Missa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got a call from my parents that they have decided to get a divorce. My brothers and I just shelled out $5,000 each and spent months planning their 50th Anniversary party that was supposed to be next month. FML

#3507672
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55111) - you deserved it (3011)

On 07/05/2009 at 4:12pm - love - by Annabelle (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I went to the eye doctor and they used dilating eye-drops on me. After I left, my vision was still pretty blurry. I walked to the subway and when I went to step onto the train, I missed and my whole left leg got stuck in the gap. The train was delayed 10 minutes because of me. FML

#1617727
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51511) - you deserved it (5112)

On 05/04/2009 at 2:28am - misc - by kraussy (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my family and I were coming back from a trip to the US. As we reached the border patrol we realized that we were one passport short. The border patrol lectured us for 30 minutes about how irresponsible we were for not realizing that they had forgotten to give us one of our passports back. FML

#4397401
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41273) - you deserved it (7778)

On 08/09/2009 at 12:02am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

#4099565
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52499) - you deserved it (2705)

On 07/28/2009 at 2:34am - misc - by partypooper (man) - United States (California)

Today, at work I wrote up my boyfriend (whom I've been secretly dating, because I'm his supervisor) for being $40 short on his register. Our policy is to write up anyone short over $10. He got mad and told my boss we're dating, and I was instantly fired. Then I got dumped for being a "tattle-tale". FML

#6175631
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30898) - you deserved it (17538)

On 11/05/2009 at 10:43pm - work - by supervisor (woman) - United States (Washington)



Maïté Verjux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Auntie Bernie delivers in 2016
  • Greetings my young friends! It's 2016 and I'm late. No, I'm not pregnant, I'm way too old for that sort of thing, even though I've been trying a lot recently (hey there Didier, you randy rascal…

Friday 5 February 2016

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: